On number of ignores

[FrogReaver]

One solution would be to de-escalate instead of acting in kind. That would solve a lot of the problems you see in the Ignore system.

I think that's the ideal solution but there's many reasons it doesn't always work as well as it should. One reason being that we are all human and there's only so much de-escalation attempts we have in us. I believe that most of us initially try to avoid escalation but when someone keeps being rude despite those attempts it's fairly difficult (though not impossible) not to be rude in kind. Couple that with the fact that the medium makes it easier write something more offensive than intended or to take something more offensive than intended and it's not surprising these issues repeatedly crop up IMO.

 

[FrogReaver]

Then why am I having so many calm and enjoyable conversations now that the others have blocked me?

I think that's a great point. Though it may be a better point to bring up in support that some posters styles just don't mix. I imagine those other posters that blocked you are having more calm and enjoyable conversations now that they have blocked you as well.

This site is still very active for me, but now I'm not running into the contentious people that blocked me, so my experience is much more enjoyable.

I'm not goin to say that I have never started anything, but for me it has primarily been the other guy.

I think the most we can say is that we didn't consciously intend to start anything. I'm sure the other side didn't consciously intend to either. But at some point the way either them or us phrased something came across as rude/overly dismissive/etc and responses like that tend to 'start something' even if we didn't consciously intend them to.

I find that I have a bad habit of adding things to the beginning of my responses that are short witty-or-not-so-witty retorts that will only really inflame and so I'm much more careful about reading over my posts and deleting out such comments before I hit submit. Examples: "That's wrong" "Incorrect" "No that's you" "No one did that". I find dropping those phrases and focusing on my explanation instead helps the conversation along alot more. I also find it helps alot to not simply focus on your disagreements with someone but also to commend them on their good points and the places you agree.

 

[Lanefan]

Philosophically I remain opposed to not seeing the upside, only the downside. The system isn't there to give users the power to punish others, it's there because it is a very useful tool for users and moderators alike.

How is it a tool for moderators, though? Does the forum software even allow the mods to use it as a moderation tool? For example if you and I were fighting like cats over something could the mods force each of us on the other's ignore list?

 

[Morrus]

How is it a tool for moderators, though? Does the forum software even allow the mods to use it as a moderation tool? For example if you and I were fighting like cats over something could the mods force each of us on the other's ignore list?

We haven't done that, but the software has the functionality.

It's a tool in the sense that we can look at the numbers and see if anything needs a second look.

 

[Umbran]

Then why am I having so many calm and enjoyable conversations now that the others have blocked me?

Using the generic "you" here, and using slightly descriptive language to make the point...

If you are a borderline jerk, some people will have more tolerance for your jerkitude than others. When the ones with less tolerance opt out, your field of view becomes more quiet.

It does not mean that you aren't the cause of the problem. It means that folks who do have the problem have a solution they can use on their own, without us having to boot your sorry tuchus.

 

[Li Shenron]

I am definitely too harsh with ignoring, my tolerance threshold is too low and I tend to click ignore at the first sight of rudeness or if I get the feeling that someone is picking on me or wants to start a feud. It's hard to voluntarily ignore what you see written in front of you, so making them disappear is easier.

However I wish there was a sort of "quarantine" feature like on social networks, that would make you ignore someone for 30 days (or whatever) rather than permanently. My current ignore list is unfairly wrong because I don't remember often to go and un-ignore at least those who I don't even remember why they offended me.

 

[FrogReaver]

How is it a tool for moderators, though? Does the forum software even allow the mods to use it as a moderation tool? For example if you and I were fighting like cats over something could the mods force each of us on the other's ignore list?

That would be a feature id support.

 

[FrogReaver]

Using the generic "you" here, and using slightly descriptive language to make the point...

If you are a borderline jerk, some people will have more tolerance for your jerkitude than others. When the ones with less tolerance opt out, your field of view becomes more quiet.

I think there’s a difference in being a jerk in general and being a jerk only to jerks. The jerk is the problem. The person being the jerk only toward the jerk isn't.

It does not mean that you aren't the cause of the problem. It means that folks who do have the problem have a solution they can use on their own, without us having to boot your sorry tuchus.

I don't think a jerk blocking you indicates you are the problem.

Also it seems 1 way ignore would also have been a solution to that situation that they could use on their own, so I'm curious why you think 2-way block is a better solution to such situations than 1 way ignore?

 

[Warpiglet-7]

I am definitely too harsh with ignoring, my tolerance threshold is too low and I tend to click ignore at the first sight of rudeness or if I get the feeling that someone is picking on me or wants to start a feud. It's hard to voluntarily ignore what you see written in front of you, so making them disappear is easier.

However I wish there was a sort of "quarantine" feature like on social networks, that would make you ignore someone for 30 days (or whatever) rather than permanently. My current ignore list is unfairly wrong because I don't remember often to go and un-ignore at least those who I don't even remember why they offended me.

Yeah. I had some folks ignored for long enough I did not realize it anymore.

no longer mad, I Unignored them. It was time to let them out of quarantine.

that is how I use ignore....but without a reminder, I left them ignored longer than needed.

I would say there are few who I would permanently ignore. Of them, they often take care of it with their own behavior. Some are not around anymore

 

[Blue]

For this reason I believe that those least likely to ignore others tend to be the most likely to be ignored and so I don’t put much stock into number of ignores being a meaningful indicator about who is more abrasive. It’s instead more of an indicator of who has the thickest skin as it's quite common for 2 people on forums to strongly disagree with each other to end up being abrasive and rude toward each other and the one with the 'thinnest skin' is going to be the one to first reach for the ignore/block button.

Yes - but the point is that with two habitually abusive posters it's not a ranking of which is worse. If we can identify either of them and get them to clean up, we've made the boards a better place. So it's not really a ranking of "who is worse" - if someone gets in arguments with many others and gets blocked a lot, that's is an indicator about them. And when you're looking at 130 blocks, that's a large range of people. Even if that one person never blocked, those 130 - if they are repeat offenders - will have been blocked by some of the other 130, whom we do know do block people.