On the bright side there are only a finite number of 70's shows to make a movie about

[Henry]

That out of the way, now we get to the real fun of this thread. Namely, who'll play Uncle Jesse? And who will narrate, now that the world is sadly Waylon Jennings-less?

Jim Varney plays Uncle Jesse (once he gains about 40 pounds).

Tom "we'll leave the light on for ya" Bodette from the Motel 6 commercials does the narration.

 

[John Crichton]

Jim Varney plays Uncle Jesse (once he gains about 40 pounds).

Henry has just volunteered to dig up Mr. Varney to have him work on this film. Reminds me of a Monty Python sketch...

 

[Villano]

Jim Varney plays Uncle Jesse (once he gains about 40 pounds).

You do know he's dead, don't you?

They'll probably cast Sean Connery, anyway.

 

[Villano]

And I think they've made about 3 or 4 totally awful $6M man tv movies.

Hey, I like them! Of course, I was just a kid at the time.

BTW, here's a little Bionic fact. At one point, they used one of the movies (the title of which escapes me) as a pilot for a new Bionic Woman series. And who was the new Bionic Woman? Sandra Bullock! And the evil cyborg she fought was the star of Forever Knight.

And a big screen $6,000,000 Man movie just wouldn't be complete without the Bionic Bigfoot in it. I used to have a model with Austin vs the Bigfoot. Man, I wish I know what happened to that thing. I'd love to have it again.

BTW, do you think they'll get wrestler Steve Austin to play bionic man Steve Austin? Or will they cast The Rock?

And they could get Paul "Big Show" Wight to play the Bigfoot!!!

 

[Hand of Evil]

It did not even hit me until this weekend that SWAT was a remake from the 70's!

CHiPs and TJ Hooker here we come!

 

[Klaatu B. Nikto]

And they could get Paul "Big Show" Wight to play the Bigfoot!!!

I thought they used the late Andre the Giant as Bigfoot.

Casting the Big Show as the new Bigfoot would be ironic since when he was in WCW, he was billed as Andre's son. Paul does have the same condition that Andre had tho.

 

[Villano]

I thought they used the late Andre the Giant as Bigfoot.

Casting the Big Show as the new Bigfoot would be ironic since when he was in WCW, he was billed as Andre's son. Paul does have the same condition that Andre had tho.

No, it wasn't Andre. I think it was the guy who played Lurch. If it wasn't him then it was Richard "Jaws" Kiel. I'm pretty sure it was Lurch, though.

They'll probably cast Michael Clark Duncan as Bigfoot, anyway.

And before anyone comes down too hard on the new Dukes Of Hazard movie being a remake of a tv series, the tv series was a remake/expansion of a movie called Moonrunners. Ironic, huh?

And, no, I've never seen it or even heard of it before.

The Dukes movie could be cool. Let's face it, the series existed solely for car chases and stunts. It could be a fun popcorn movie.

And if you're sick of '70s tv series being remade as films, wait 'till Hollywood Sqares: The Movie hits your local cineplex. (insert evil laughter)

 

[Piratecat]

What you talkin' bout, Willis?

 

[Pants]

And if you're sick of '70s tv series being remade as films, wait 'till Hollywood Sqares: The Movie hits your local cineplex. (insert evil laughter)

If it has Gilbert Godfrey in it, then my life will be complete.

 

[Villano]

If it has Gilbert Godfrey in it, then my life will be complete.

Yes, he will be in it, playing himself, of course (top center square). With Queen Latifa as Nell Carter and Andy Dick as Paul Lynde (center square).

Halle Berry will be Contestant #1 and Tom Arnold as Contestant #2. Brace yourself for Halley's big "acting scene" (she has one in every movies since her Oscar).

With a very special appearance by Erik Estrada as Ponch.