I think the community as a whole was pretty alright. I mean, most of the designers we love today came from it after all.
I meeeaaaaan, there are plenty of designers with some deeply problematic ideas and behaviours, so that doesn't really prove the point you think it does. I can immediately off the top of my head think of five designers who were once very well-regarded (at least in certain areas) who turned out to be not-great. And two of them were major D&D designers. Oh god seven if you count a recent example, which I think you should because it's so spot-on in showing that just because people are "alternative" or whatever, that doesn't mean they aren't incomprehensibly awful.
I was in high school in the US, so it was mostly the trench coat wearing Drama department crowd that played. Didn't know it was popular outside that crowd. I owned all the core books I never could get anyone to play with me...
It definitely sucks that you couldn't find anyone to play with, but I dunno, I know a quite a few Americans IRL who play, and none of them are from the real "outcast/loser" end of things when they were at school. Sure, they might not be the prom king/queen, but like, that's two people out of what, dozens, hundreds?
I'm from the UK, note, and my main experience is that yeah, it's usually more imaginative people who play it (so there is some cross-over with drama), but even then there are plenty of people who don't fit that.
Go to Gen Con. If you think that represents a cross section of popular high school kids and jocks, you must not be attending the same convention as me or went to a very different high school then I did (graduated 1994, USA).
I know he's gone but I just wanted to note that the idea that GenCon is remotely representative of D&D players as a whole is pretty wildly hilarious. It's like thinking Star Trek conventions are representative of the Star Trek viewers as a whole.