Only play with people you'd be friends with...

[WizarDru]

I'm always willing to test out new players (or even DMs, but that's a more signifcant commitment, in my book), but as others have mentioned: time is short, life is busy, and the game is one of the ways I get to socialize with friends I don't see as much as I might like. The game is a social event, shared with friends.

And, as has been stated, it's not that I won't play with folks that I don't know, just that I won't game more than once with someone I don't like. I've had some cool folks around my table over the years, many of whom were unknowns in the beginning...but I was sure glad I gave them the chance. But playing with folks I don't like if I don't have to? That's not broadening, it's just irritating.

 

[Piratecat]

Wizardru, I was lucky enough to sit in on your game in June; now I have to go doublecheck my email to make sure you invited me back.

I only like to game regularly with people I like, so I've just compensated by meeting lots and lots of really interesting gamers at cons or online. There's no dearth of fun people who are a pleasure to hang out with outside the game.

Why? I've gamed with literally over a thousand people, the side effect of running or playing in around 600 RPGA games since the late 80's. As you can imagine, I've met some really bad gamers and some freakin' amazing ones. I make it a point to stay in touch with the people I really like. Add that to all the great folks I've met through EN World, and I consider myself to be damn lucky.

So yeah, life's too short to spend a lot of time with people you don't like; just meet lots of folks and make sure you keep spending time with the ones you do.

 

[Chimera]

Guess I'm used to giving people more than one chance.

Gamed(worked/been around) with a lot of people who rubbed me the wrong way the first time we met, but who "got better" in the next encounters. Everyone can have an off day.

Almost quit my CoC group two (plus) years ago because of one guy, who was deliberately a jerk to me. Talked to the GM and said that I would rather not return. GM talked me into coming back, talked to the other guy. This group broke up last fall. Guess who is the only member of that group I still (occasionally) communicate with? Yeah, that's right. The "jerk".

Another group, another guy I didn't like at first meet. By the time I quit that group almost a year later, he was the one I liked the most, the only one I had done things outside the game with.

Couldn't stand one member of my current gaming group after the first full session of play. But he's growing on me. I'm learning to deal with him. I have a better understanding of where he's coming from and I've learned to ignore the 10,000th repetition of the same unfunny joke.

Oh yeah, plenty of examples on the other extreme. But here are three examples of people I would probably not have wanted to game with if I was the type to drop people over first impressions.

 

[jmucchiello]

But here are three examples of people I would probably not have wanted to game with if I was the type to drop people over first impressions.

No one said anything about not giving people a chance or that first impressions should be your only guide. Everyone is saying to you that if you are not having fun, don't game with the people who are causing you not to have fun. If you are still having fun after a while of playing, most likely the people you are playing with are becoming your friends.

 

[WizarDru]

Wizardru, I was lucky enough to sit in on your game in June; now I have to go doublecheck my email to make sure you invited me back.

Let me be perfectly clear here, you and KC are extremely welcome. You have to experience the new game room.

See, if the Meepites even had an inkling that I had intimated otherwise, they might harm me. At the very least, they'd tie me down and force me to watch like Banana phone, over and over again.

And you don't want that, do you?

For god's sake, think of the children, man!

 

[Stockdale]

When I got back into this, one of the things I was looking for was a way to make some friends. To that end, trying out new players and games is half the fun, and it'll take a few sessions to know if the game/gamers are "right." So, I agree, in part, with Chimera. Playing with people who are unfamilar to me is an objective of gaming.

I also agree with many of the posters that, considering my limited free time, I am not interested in spending it with people I don't like or in situations that make me uncomfortable. For me, gaming is a social activity and I don't have the time or patience to play in a game where I'll come home and complain to my wife about the crappy time I had. When I game, I'm out to have fun with the people I game with. If I'm not having fun, my overall objective for getting out and socializing has failed.

 

[Arnwyn]

Ugh, no. It may sound cold, but gaming is not a charity. I game to have fun, socialize with my friends and to blow off steam. I do not game to achieve some sort of greater purpose, to become a better human being. And I do not owe anybody anything.

Darn right. Due to having a job and, well, a life, my gaming time is limited. I'm doing it to have fun - nothing more. I certainly don't make changes just for the sake of making changes.

And really, to the original poster's "why" question: all I really need to answer is "because I want it that way". I don't need to justify my decision to anyone.

 

[Taneel BrightBlade]

well... If your saying game with people who you don't know very well I agree bt if you are saying game wiith jerks that I would be incapable of getting along with I don't think thats a good idea

 

[Sidereal Knight]

I've been gaming with a group for the last 7+ years, and the game is really the only thing I have in common with most of the other players.

In January, a friend invited my partner and me to play in a game with his group. We have a LOT more in common with this new group, and I think (hope) they will turn into longterm friends.

We're having tonnes more fun with the new group, and considering that some ongoing problems with the old group are coming to a head, I think we'll soon be playing exculsively with the new group.

My point? You can easily game with friendly "associates" for years, and even have a good time. However, in my experience, gaming with friends or proto-friends wins every time.

 

[Darth K'Trava]

In addendum, I've only played with unknown people at conventions for the most part. There were a couple of unknowns we'd played with when I first started gaming. Both were in college and has since "disappeared". It's harder to get more in depth roleplaying from those you are unfamiliar with. And conversation is usually more "stilted" as you don't know their interests and they don't know yours' (other than gaming, obviously!).