Opinions sought: Much younger players?
- Thread starter Jeff Wilder
- Start date
Steel_Wind
Legend
Jeff Wilder said:
Doug McCrae said:
Jeff Wilder said:
Uhmm... Jeff? In all seriousness, after all that stuff about meeting her mother and trading contact info and so forth? Doug is bang on the money about what's up with your girlfriend's motives here.
Your girlfriend did not ask because she is a snob; she asked because she is a woman Jeff.
Do not look for a more complex motivation when the plainly obvious one is slapping you squarely in the face.
Moreover, when your girlfriend thinks "no attractive woman plays D&D", you know all you need to know about what your girlfriend really thinks is the reason the cute young thing next door "who looks 18 or 20" is being so forward.
Seriously.
Last edited:
Steel_Wind
Legend
solkan_uk said:
I don't disagree with you in the least, and in Canada, the age of consent is 14.
In California, however, it's 18.
I know. It's a pretty wierd age of consent. From being a kid to old enough to vote, have sex and FILM PORNOGRAPHY - all on the same day. *shrug*
smootrk
First Post
I think you handled things well. Although if I was gaming with an adolescent whose parents I did not know well, I would be tempted to produce a consent form to be signed by the parents (in my presence at that). Like others have said, in this lawsuit-happy time, it pays to be safe; the consent form ensures that everyone is aware of each other.
It would probably be wise to also make sure you had a female grown person in the vicinity. I sometimes serve in our church for supervising the temporary housing of young people who are in dire circumstances... and because I am male, our rules state that there must be another person (female) with the male supervisor, or two female supervisors. I guess they feel (probably rightly) that females are safer. One could understand why a church (or similar organization) might impose such rules (especially as I am Catholic), given recent events.
That all being said, I think it wonderful to include young folks into these activities. It is certainly better than Television, or semi-mindless video games, or many of the other activities that they might use their time otherwise. Good Luck.
It would probably be wise to also make sure you had a female grown person in the vicinity. I sometimes serve in our church for supervising the temporary housing of young people who are in dire circumstances... and because I am male, our rules state that there must be another person (female) with the male supervisor, or two female supervisors. I guess they feel (probably rightly) that females are safer. One could understand why a church (or similar organization) might impose such rules (especially as I am Catholic), given recent events.
That all being said, I think it wonderful to include young folks into these activities. It is certainly better than Television, or semi-mindless video games, or many of the other activities that they might use their time otherwise. Good Luck.
Phlebas
First Post
our ten year old neighbour sat in on our last session playing a NPC with his mothers knowledge since he asked at a weekend BBQ in front of her - (our groups 31-40something)
apart from one inappropriate joke (that would have made it into a PG rated movie - no worse than that) there wasn't a lot different in the evening. couple of 'shhh...ugars' after some bad rolls but that was about it that i noticed.
since 16 is not particularly minor (certainly not in the UK) and the parent is ok with it - what are you worried about especially since you have the entire group (plus brother) as witnesses?
If the mother is free to show up on a moments notice, plus you have an open window she can look in i can't really see the potential for litigation - unless you kill her favourite character and she sues for emotional stress but that could happen to anyone
apart from one inappropriate joke (that would have made it into a PG rated movie - no worse than that) there wasn't a lot different in the evening. couple of 'shhh...ugars' after some bad rolls but that was about it that i noticed.
since 16 is not particularly minor (certainly not in the UK) and the parent is ok with it - what are you worried about especially since you have the entire group (plus brother) as witnesses?
If the mother is free to show up on a moments notice, plus you have an open window she can look in i can't really see the potential for litigation - unless you kill her favourite character and she sues for emotional stress but that could happen to anyone
BlackMoria
First Post
You did all the right things.
My group has always had a large spread on age. I'm 51 and right now, the next youngest player in my group is 28 and the ages go down from there.
Tell your girlfriend that this game is one that transcends age as long as age isn't an issue for all the gamers involved and that there is other groups out there that have underage players in comparison to the other players (like my group)
I had one moment in which someone that knows about my game asked me why a 49 year old guy (my age at the time of the incident) was playing with 'a bunch of kids', as they put. At that time, I had two players under 18.
After the conversation, I suddenly became very concious of the age disparity in my group and a little unsettled as the unspoken implication the person I was speaking to seemed to hint - that I was somehow doing something wrong solely playing with men and women that I as old enough to be their parent.
I asked my group the next time how they felt about playing with a 49 year old. The 15 year old piped up and said "Well, how do you feel playing with a 15 year old?' I said that didn't bother me at all. He responded "Well, I don't have a problem either. In fact, I think it is really cool that you do play with us. My dad would never even try to play a game like this with me." The 16 year old at that moment also said that his parents wouldn't play the game with him at all either (he tried) and likewise, he thought I was 'cool' and my age didn't bother him.
I pushed the incident out of my mind and did what I always do - run a great game.
My point - if your group doesn't have a problem with the age of the two teenagers and if teenagers don't have a problem with the age of your group and both sides want to play a game they love, then there isn't a problem despite the opinion of others.
My group has always had a large spread on age. I'm 51 and right now, the next youngest player in my group is 28 and the ages go down from there.
Tell your girlfriend that this game is one that transcends age as long as age isn't an issue for all the gamers involved and that there is other groups out there that have underage players in comparison to the other players (like my group)
I had one moment in which someone that knows about my game asked me why a 49 year old guy (my age at the time of the incident) was playing with 'a bunch of kids', as they put. At that time, I had two players under 18.
After the conversation, I suddenly became very concious of the age disparity in my group and a little unsettled as the unspoken implication the person I was speaking to seemed to hint - that I was somehow doing something wrong solely playing with men and women that I as old enough to be their parent.
I asked my group the next time how they felt about playing with a 49 year old. The 15 year old piped up and said "Well, how do you feel playing with a 15 year old?' I said that didn't bother me at all. He responded "Well, I don't have a problem either. In fact, I think it is really cool that you do play with us. My dad would never even try to play a game like this with me." The 16 year old at that moment also said that his parents wouldn't play the game with him at all either (he tried) and likewise, he thought I was 'cool' and my age didn't bother him.
I pushed the incident out of my mind and did what I always do - run a great game.
My point - if your group doesn't have a problem with the age of the two teenagers and if teenagers don't have a problem with the age of your group and both sides want to play a game they love, then there isn't a problem despite the opinion of others.
Drowbane
First Post
MadMaxim said:
Sums it up nicely. Assuming your group is up for it and you guys can handle another two (possibly noobish) players, I'd almost say it would be wrong to turn away new gamers. Future of the hobby and all that.
Your G/F is clearly overreacting (just don't tell her I said that! o.0)
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