Opinions sought: Much younger players?

[MadMaxim]

I've got news for you. 16-year-olds cuss and bitch and tell dirty jokes. You can probably learn some of the new jokes from them.

Quoted for truth. Sometimes I don't believe my own ears when I hear what language they use, and I'm only 26!

 

[Mark Hope]

Uhmm... Jeff? In all seriousness, after all that stuff about meeting her mother and trading contact info and so forth? Doug is bang on the money about what's up with your girlfriend's motives here.

Your girlfriend did not ask because she is a snob; she asked because she is a woman Jeff.

Do not look for a more complex motivation when the plainly obvious one is slapping you squarely in the face.

Moreover, when your girlfriend thinks "no attractive woman plays D&D", you know all you need to know about what your girlfriend really thinks is the reason the cute young thing next door "who looks 18 or 20" is being so forward.

Seriously.

My gf (who is both a gamer and a hottie) instructed me to post that she agrees - this is exactly what is going on.

Wow. I'm glad she's not my wife. My wife plays D&D. And is gorgeous. And doesn't have inadequacy issues.

What a friggin' slap in the face to every female gamer out there. She should be ashamed of herself.

And she agrees with this too.

Me? I don't see any problem either. You have the mother's agreement. You don't sound like a bunch of nutters. No problem. Game on - have fun.

 

[S'mon]

Your girlfriend's reaction seems strange (BTW I thought this thread would be about introducing 4-5 year olds to D&D - my son is 3 months old now, I'm getting impatient!). When I advertise for players I tend to prefer older players (I'm 34) but I wouldn't turn away 16 year old neighbours if they seemed likeable.

 

[S'mon]

Did you use that word when you told your girlfriend the story? If so, I think I know why she was opposed to the idea.

Yes, that thought also occurred to me - gf may see this as a potential threat.

 

[davidschwartznz]

I don't see the problem. The kids sound precocious.

 

[Glyfair]

One point: a 16 years old is not a child. They are adolescents. There is a VAST difference between the two; it is a distinction with a difference, and personally, I wouldn't change my game style of ribaldry at the table much, if at all.

Remembering my games and life at 16, the difference in the "adult" nature of the game in terms of profanitty and sex was that there was more then - not less - than there is now. YMMV of course, but 16 is not a child. Not even close.

There is a big difference between what a group of 16 year olds do together, and what they do in the company of adults. It is especially true if the adults might be seen as encouraging such behavior in their offspring.

I'd one of the pre-adolescent Yu-Gi-Oh players at my local venue chew out their mother using language that I wouldn't use to anyone, and she just stood their and said "sorry." I still watch my language around my friend's children.

 

[Mark]

I am probably just being overly cautious because I have a male friend who is currently dealing with a situation where he has been falsely accused of something by an adult female. It is probably a good thing, primarily, that the legal system strongly sides with females, particularly minors, when accusations start to fly. Although there is no doubt with anyone who knows my male friend that this will be cleared up eventually, it is going to cost him time and money. Also, I have run into people who do not know him (nor knew that I know him) who have a very different take on the situation. They have heard enough that they feel they can judge him. The shame of it is that no matter when it blows over, some people will always paint him with a false brush. Some will always look on the situation as if maybe he got away with something. It is a bell that cannot be unrung and in his situation, it could have been avoided with a bit of forethought. Your situation just seemed to echo that of my other friend so I felt a warning was in order.

 

[Rel]

There is a big difference between what a group of 16 year olds do together, and what they do in the company of adults. It is especially true if the adults might be seen as encouraging such behavior in their offspring.

This was my point as well.

In addition, the friends I play with are peers, all of whom I've been friends with for at least a dozen years, all of us within a year or two of the same age, all of us married, all with kids. We're just on the same page about a lot of stuff and our off topic conversations center around that (and World of Warcraft ). I would be very hesitant to introduce a 16 year old into that situation, not for their sake but for mine.

None of which is to say that I have anything against gaming with such a person. I have. I've enjoyed it. I'll do it again. Just not in that same environment.

 

[Asmor]

I don't have any problem with it in theory... Unfortunately, there are realities which need to be addressed... The sort of realities, for example, which mean that no male teacher would ever meet a female student without making sure there was also a female teacher present. The fact of the matter is, a baseless accusation will ruin lives, and when it comes to sexual predators, it's not even a case of guilty until proven innocent... It's guilty even if proven innocent. Even if, as someone suggested, you recorded every session, it's just too risky. (by the way, if you do record stuff, make sure you inform all the players and the younger ones' mother.)

It'd be one thing if it were a family member or even if you were good friends with the neighbor, but judging from the fact that you didn't even know about what age the girl was I'm guessing that's not the case. There's just too much risk there, I'd recommend against it.

Of course, that's just my $0.02 on the matter.

 

[Steel_Wind]

I don't have any problem with it in theory... Unfortunately, there are realities which need to be addressed... The sort of realities, for example, which mean that no male teacher would ever meet a female student without making sure there was also a female teacher present.

Teachers are concerned about retaining their jobs and there are statutory consequences of having a sexual relationship with someone below that age of majority and over whom you stand in a position of authority, or can grant or confer a benefit.

A position of authority does not include "he was my DM".

I'm a lawyer for christ's sakes - and even I don't understand this way of thinking AT ALL.

Maybe it's the fact I'm in Canada, I don't know. But without putting too fine a point on it - I think this advice is just plain nutty.