D&D General Orc and Pie, Redux

[FrogReaver]

My PC is hurt offended by pie. His family never had enough money to make or buy him one. He associates it with decadence and privilege and what really puzzles him is how the orc is more privileged than his younger self. He will not kill the orc or steal the pie. He will complain about the orcs privilege till a mob gathers and the orc gives him the pie.

 

[FireLance]

Next, you forgot the hook: why players want the pie. By default, it should be a good pie.

Good point.

Adventure hook: The PCs are out shopping and feel hungry.

The DM can also add secondary motivations for the PCs by introducing a child in dirty rags staring hungrily at the pie.

Lawful PCs may want to obtain the pie before the child steals it and breaks the law.

Good PCs may want to obtain the pie to share it with the child.

Evil PCs may want to obtain the pie and eat it in front of the child to torment them psychologically.

Chourst only knows what Chaotic PCs want to do.

 

[Cadence]

Well first, I'd give Monte Cook his due:

RE: World's Shortest (Yet Technically Complete) Adventure - I was wondering if the classic adventure Nogard in Dragon #96 might be shorter, but it was a lot longer to read than I remembered. The follow up to Nogard is still shorter though.

Spoilers - for DMs eyes only - a retyped copy is at Nogard . Skip down to the first * * * to start reading so you get the full effect.

 

[jasper]

......

But speaking of invading armies - do they have pie is the important issue of the day. If they have pie, how does the DM know that I even want pie? Maybe my PC is watching their figure and pie is the last thing in the world that I need.

...

The eastern orc army is making gluten free pie crust for their blue berry pies. The southern orc army is making moon pies. The northern orc army is making rhubarb pies. The western orc army is making kiwi pies. When you are captured Ooft you will before to eat the pie and take a quick 3 minute survey. Answer wrong and you become a meat pie!

 

[jasper]

Good point.

Adventure hook: The PCs are out shopping and feel hungry.

The DM can also add secondary motivations for the PCs by introducing a child in dirty rags staring hungrily at the pie.

Lawful PCs may want to obtain the pie before the child steals it and breaks the law.

Good PCs may want to obtain the pie to share it with the child.

Evil PCs may want to obtain the pie and eat it in front of the child to torment them psychologically.

Chourst only knows what Chaotic PCs want to do.

Bake the child into another pie.

 

[Seramus]

No one wants to break a molar on their pie filling.

The little pointed hats make great toothpicks, though.

 

[toucanbuzz]

Bake the child into another pie.

You've been playing Curse of Strahd again, haven't you! Story twist for twisted DMs.

 

[DammitVictor]

This thread, by the nature and designof the top post, is throwing current conflicts in people's faces. Engaging with the thread while complaining about the thread's raison d'etre is a tad awkward.

You'd think that people who keep claiming that all they want to do is sit down and enjoy some D&D without 21st century politics would be more sympathetic to people who just want to sit down and enjoy some D&D without 19th century politics.

 

[QuentinGeorge]

I want tenth-century politics with my orc 'n' pie. What is the orcish position on the Iconoclasm? Is the orc guilty of monophysitism? Perhaps if we can come to an accord over the Investiture Controversy we can share the pie together.