[OT] A joke a post.
- Thread starter JacktheRabbit
- Start date
caudor
Adventurer
A wizard, a bard, and a barbarian were running through the woods, having just escaped from the Bandit King's lair. However, a band of the Bandit King's half-orc grunts were hot on their heels, tracking the three with hunting dogs.
"They are too close...quick!", whispered the wizard. "Everyone up a tree."
So up a tree they went, each up a separate tree. A few minutes later, the hunting dogs came upon the wizard's tree and starting barking and scratching on it. Cleverly, the wizard made a noise "Tweet Tweet. Tweet Tweet."
"Ah, it is just a bird. Move on!", grumbled the half-orc leader. So they moved on.
Next, the dogs came upon the bard's tree. Following the wizard's lead, he made a noise as well: "Hoot Hoot. Hoot Hoot."
"Ah, it is just an owl", growled the half-orc leader. "Move on!"
Finally, they came upon the barbarian's tree. Following the lead of his companions, the barbarian decided to make a noise himself.
"Moo. Moo. Moooooooo!!!!"
"They are too close...quick!", whispered the wizard. "Everyone up a tree."
So up a tree they went, each up a separate tree. A few minutes later, the hunting dogs came upon the wizard's tree and starting barking and scratching on it. Cleverly, the wizard made a noise "Tweet Tweet. Tweet Tweet."
"Ah, it is just a bird. Move on!", grumbled the half-orc leader. So they moved on.
Next, the dogs came upon the bard's tree. Following the wizard's lead, he made a noise as well: "Hoot Hoot. Hoot Hoot."
"Ah, it is just an owl", growled the half-orc leader. "Move on!"
Finally, they came upon the barbarian's tree. Following the lead of his companions, the barbarian decided to make a noise himself.
"Moo. Moo. Moooooooo!!!!"
Last edited:
MEG Hal
First Post
Q. What is the highlight of a Georgia (put in any state, nation etc..) wedding?
A. When the bride's water breaks.
Thanks you, thank you I will be posting all night.
PS-I actually made up that joke, so if you use it people will not know it unless you live in Naples or Tampa Fl.
A. When the bride's water breaks.
Thanks you, thank you I will be posting all night.
PS-I actually made up that joke, so if you use it people will not know it unless you live in Naples or Tampa Fl.
DM with a vengence
First Post
A Roman walks into a baqr and orders a martinus and the bartender asks "Wait, don't you mean a martini?" and the Roman says "Look bub, if I wanted two I would've asked for them."
Son_of_Thunder
Explorer
told to me by a lawyer who prosecutes drug cases
Why did the blond snort nutrisweet?
She thought it was diet coke.
Why did the blond snort nutrisweet?
She thought it was diet coke.
kengar
First Post
This is an oldie translated into D&D format a while back (not by me, can't remember where I saw this version), here goes:
An Elf, a Gnome & a Dwarf are using the men's room. Each standing at a urinal.
The Elf finishes first and goes to the sink. He scrubs his hands with hot soapy water all the way to the elbows before rinsing and drying. He turns to the other two and says, "We elves are taught the importance of cleanliness and hygiene."
The Gnome finishes second and goes tot he sink. He runs a trickle of water and rinses his hands quickly and efficiently. He turns and says, "We gnomes are taught to conserve nature and her resources."
The Dwarf finishes last, walks past the sink and straight for the door. He turns and says, "We dwarfs are taught not to p*** on our hands!"
An Elf, a Gnome & a Dwarf are using the men's room. Each standing at a urinal.
The Elf finishes first and goes to the sink. He scrubs his hands with hot soapy water all the way to the elbows before rinsing and drying. He turns to the other two and says, "We elves are taught the importance of cleanliness and hygiene."
The Gnome finishes second and goes tot he sink. He runs a trickle of water and rinses his hands quickly and efficiently. He turns and says, "We gnomes are taught to conserve nature and her resources."
The Dwarf finishes last, walks past the sink and straight for the door. He turns and says, "We dwarfs are taught not to p*** on our hands!"
Nifft
Penguin Herder
A dragon and a kobold are taking a dump in the woods. The dragon turns to the kobold:
"Pardon me, but do you have any trouble with poop sticking to your scales?"
The kobold answers, "No, I've never had a problem like that."
So the dragon wipes her *** with the kobold.
-- Nifft
"Pardon me, but do you have any trouble with poop sticking to your scales?"
The kobold answers, "No, I've never had a problem like that."
So the dragon wipes her *** with the kobold.
-- Nifft
kingpaul
First Post
I'll do one and see if I get enough groans 
===========
There are 2 prawn livining at the bottom of the ocean, Daniel and Christian. They're complaining one day about being the bottom of the food chain, when an old cod fish shows up. He goes to Daniel,
"I will grant you one wish"
Daniel thinks for a moment and says
"I wish to be a shark, the top of the food chain"
Instantly, he is so. Christian, fearing for his life, flees. None of Daniel's friends want to be near him, fearful that the shark nature will take over and he'll eat them. Further, Daniel can make no new friends, as they don't believe that a shark can be nice. Finally, Daniel searches out that old cod fish, and begs to be changed back. The cod fish agrees. In a state of extreme happiness, Daniel races back to the bar that he and Christian frequented. He discovers Christian is not there, and goes up to the bartender,
"Where's Christian?"
"He locked himself up in his home, mourning the loss of his best friend."
"Really? I must go and clear things up for him"
And off Daniel races to Christian's home.
Knock, knock
"Go away"
"Christian, its me"
"You're a shark, go away"
"You don't understand, I've met cod, I'm a prawn again Christian."
===========
There are 2 prawn livining at the bottom of the ocean, Daniel and Christian. They're complaining one day about being the bottom of the food chain, when an old cod fish shows up. He goes to Daniel,
"I will grant you one wish"
Daniel thinks for a moment and says
"I wish to be a shark, the top of the food chain"
Instantly, he is so. Christian, fearing for his life, flees. None of Daniel's friends want to be near him, fearful that the shark nature will take over and he'll eat them. Further, Daniel can make no new friends, as they don't believe that a shark can be nice. Finally, Daniel searches out that old cod fish, and begs to be changed back. The cod fish agrees. In a state of extreme happiness, Daniel races back to the bar that he and Christian frequented. He discovers Christian is not there, and goes up to the bartender,
"Where's Christian?"
"He locked himself up in his home, mourning the loss of his best friend."
"Really? I must go and clear things up for him"
And off Daniel races to Christian's home.
Knock, knock
"Go away"
"Christian, its me"
"You're a shark, go away"
"You don't understand, I've met cod, I'm a prawn again Christian."
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