[OT] A joke a post.

[kingpaul]

What, no groans? Here's another
===
Three strings are walking around town, and decide they want a beer. The first one walks into a bar to pick up a 6-pack, and the bartender throws him out.

"We don't serve your kind here!"

They walk down the road, and find another bar. The second one walks in to buy the 6-pack, and he to gets thrown out.

"We don't serve your kind here!"

They walk further down the road, and find yet another bar. The third string begins to pull his ends apart and ties himself up. He then walks into the bar and orders a 6-pack. The bartender looks at him suspiciously.

"Are you a string?"
" 'Fraid not"

 

[larfinia]

thought i'd throw in a seasonal joke before the new year turns and xmas is no more.

Good king Wenceslas rang for pizza...he said can i have

Deep Pan Crisp and Even

 

[kingpaul]

Two men are on the top floor of a skyrise, drinking in the bar up there.

"Y'know, I designed this building so that if you fall off this floor, the air currents would blow you into a window 20 stories below"
"What?!? That's impossible...I don't believe you."
"No, its true, watch"

And with that, the first goes to window, jumps out of it. He falls 5, 10, 15, 20 floors, and zips into a window. He comes back up.

"That was amazing! However, it must be luck; you couldn't do that again."
"You don't believe me? Very well, here I go"

And with that, he the first throws himself out the window again. He falls 5, 10, 15, 20 floors, and zips into a window. He comes back up.

"OK, if you can do that one more time, I'll do it myself."
"You're quite the Doubting Thomas, but very well."

And with that, he the first throws himself out the window for a third time. He falls 5, 10, 15, 20 floors, and zips into a window. He comes back up.

"Wow! It must be true! Here I go."

And with that, the second drunk hurls himself out the window. He falls, and falls, and falls and SPLAT, all over the sidewalk.

At this point, the bartender speaks up, "You make a nasty drunk Superman"

 

[hunter2112]

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry but we don't serve food here"

Let the groaning begin

 

[MerakSpielman]

A male whale and a female whale are swimming through the ocean when they come upon a whaling ship.

"Hey, that's the whaling ship that killed my parents," says the male whale, "You want to help me tip it over? We can go under it and blow out air through out blow holes."

"Sure," agrees the female whale.

So both whales dive and blow air from their blow holes beneith the ship, capsizing it.

"Look!" said the male whale, "The sailers are all swimming towards that island. You want to help me eat them before they get there?"

The female whale gave him a disgusted look and said, "Listen, buddy. I agreed to the blow job, but I don't eat seamen."

 

[AGGEMAM]

While on the whale subject...

Edited for content not suitable for grandma's...

 

[Hoju]

love the superman joke...

What did the number 0 say to the number 8 ?

"Nice Belt"

 

[Buttercup]

A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Got any duck food?"

The bartender replies, "No. And we don't serve ducks here. Out!"

The next day, the duck comes back into the bar and says to the bartender, "Got any duck food?"

The bartender says, "I told you yesterday we don't serve ducks here. Get out of my bar!"

The next day, the duck walks back into the bar, and says, again, "Got any duck food?"

The bartender is furiously angry now. He yells, "GET OUT OF MY BAR! IF YOU EVER COME BACK IN HERE I'LL NAIL YOUR BILL TO THE FLOOR!"

A week later, the duck comes into the bar and says to the bartender, "Got any nails?"

The bartender says no.

"Well then," says the duck, "got any duck food?"

 

[Dinkeldog]

Please remember to not include grandma-sensitive material. Thanks

 

[AGGEMAM]

Please remember to not include grandma-sensitive material. Thanks

Sorry, I'll edit mine as soon as I think of another one...