[OT] Hurting. (I warn you, this is *very* OT

[William Ronald]

Kyle,

I hope you are doing well.

My advice is to seek strength from others. Prayers for peace of mind, and an end to anger may help. Anger will not truly help you now. Instead, you must focus on how to make the best possible life for yourself and your child.

Also, seek the help of friends and family. Remember that you are loved for yourself, your own uniqueness as an individual. It is sometimes easy to think you are alone when you are in pain. However, you need never be alone.


Do not let recent events determine your sense of self worth. I have had my own share of setbacks and sorrows. Remember, this too shall pass. This refrain is included in one of the oldest works in the English language in which a poet regrets much that has happened.

For now, I think you need to consider how best to build a better future for you and your child. He has a loving, devoted father -- which is something not every child has in this world.

Hang in there.

William

 

[JohnBrown]

Kyle,

Let us know man, how are things? I hope you are all right.

Give us shout when you get a chance.

John

 

[Lela]

Kyle,

Let us know man, how are things? I hope you are all right.

Give us shout when you get a chance.

John

We all want the best for you man. What's the word?

 

[Metus]

Kyle, I'm sincerely sorry to hear what happened. The only advice I could possibly give is the advice that I live by:

Never, ever get into a relationship. Ever.

Seriously, reading all the stories everyone else has posted has cemented me on this idea.

But I hope everything works out for you. My parents were divorced when I was pretty young, but I sure don't miss my dad. In that respect, I think there can be good divorces (or at least good outcomes).

 

[SHARK]

Greetings!

Good relationships can work, by the way. Good marriages require love, honour, commitment, faith, forgiveness, discipline, and work, among other things. Finding people who are willing to embrace such values is difficult in this day and age, but it is possible. Good marriages are worth searching, and working for. Don't give up hope, and try not to be discouraged by the failure, defeat, and pain of those around you.

Semper Fidelis,

SHARK

 

[orion winterfire]

Kyle-

With everything that has been said here, I can't really add anything. Just know that there's one more person out there rootin' for ya.

 

[LightPhoenix]

I don't really have any advice to give either, not having any experience with this sort of thing. All I can do if offer condolences and hope for a better future.

Well, okay, one thing I guess. Always keep in mind what's best for your child. He's what matters most - not you, not your wife, not Christopher.

And I must say, reading this thread, I am amazed yet again at what a community we have here. Makes me proud to be a part of it.

 

[Mistwell]

I'm a little disappointed in all the people here saying that he should get an attorney in order to win custody of his child, that he should go out and fight for custody, and that we all know the child would be in better hands with him, a non-cheater, than her, a cheater.

What crap. Y'all have no idea whose household the child would be best cared for in. Maybe she works less, and has more time to spend with the child. Maybe she has more of a support system to help with the raising of the child. Maybe the child is more attached to the mother, and the break in continuity would be harmful to the child. All kinds of factors go into which parent should raise a child during a divorce (cheating being one, but one of many, factors).

Yes, you should get an attorney, to represent you in the divorce, and to help with custody issues. But don't go in using the child as a weapon. Don't think custody is a method of revenge. In fact, don't even think that fidelity is a huge issue in custody (it may be, but don't go in with that attitude). Think about what would be best for your child, and do that.

 

[Furn_Darkside]

What crap.

Oh yeah, because you know someone who can't keep their wedding vows is going to look out for the welfare of their children.

Oops, she already betrayed that, didn't she?

As someone who grew up with a single mother who decided that her sex life was more important then the safety of her children, there is no "crap" about it.

It doesn't matter what kind of "support" system she could provide when she is a bad person. Hell, the less time she spends with the child the better.

FD

Edit: Besides, considering how difficult it is for a man in this country to even get joint-custody of a child- the sooner a man gets a lawyer to protect the child and his rights as a father, the better.

 

[Fade]

Never, ever get into a relationship. Ever.

Worked for me so far.