[OT] I've got a great idea!

[Sir Hawkeye]

Sir Hawkeye is a pair of roller-skates that purifies water and traps small animals.

Magic Missile is a toaster that produces 240v of electricity! It detects harmful gases and fires plastic darts.

Closer than you might expect. I never knew plastic darts counted as "force" damage.

Fireball is a pair of shoes that runs on a single AA battery!

Odd. "Fireball" and "your mom" are the same thing apparently.

Meteor Swarm is an explosive device! It makes popcorn!

So true!

Design #1
It's a tricycle that records memos!

Design #0
It's a billboard! It weighs anything you put on top of it!

Mordenkainen
Mordenkainen is an iMac that can be bolted onto a webcam! It catalogues its contents.

Melf
Melf is a soft-drink can that can be implanted into the arm! It destroys household pests and has a built-in calculator.

Robilar
Robilar is a beermat that hangs upside-down from the ceiling and catalogues its contents.

Miracle Max
Miracle Max is a business card that detects evil! It uses captured Martian technology.

D&D
D&D is like a normal Christmas tree, but it weighs anything you put on top of it.

 

[Mathew_Freeman]

Tallarn
Tallarn is like a normal credit card, but it mimics the movements of a lizard.

Ghost
Ghost is a fizzy drink that sorts your mail, can disable electrical hardware and hovers three feet from the ground.

Skip Williams
Skip Williams is an answering machine that has a mind of its own!

<i>How did it know? That's amazing!</I>

Elminster
Elminster is a fizzy drink that reflects light, glows at night and smells a bit funny.

<i>ROFLMAO!</I>

The Hand of Vecna
The Hand of Vecna is like a normal games console, but it emits a powerful searchlight beam.

The Eye of Vecna
The Eye of Vecna is a bar of soap that can emulate a ZX Spectrum, sounds better than it looks and contains a tinier version of itself.

<b>I could play this game all day!</b>

 

[Telgian]

Telgian: is a wireless network device that hums incessantly, emits thick black smoke and tells you when people are lying.

ROTFL
Thanks for the link!

Telgian.

 

[Galactic Hobo]

Galactic Hobo
Galactic Hobo is a dog collar that emits harmful gases and plays light music.

The Player's Handbook
The Player's Handbook is a pair of roller-skates that runs on six little wheels!

The Dungeon Master's Guide
The Dungeon Master's Guide is a screwdriver! It keeps you warm at night!

The Monster Manual
The Monster Manual is a cardboard box! It floats in water!

A dragon
A dragon is a tricycle that plays Sokoban! It can be used by several people at once and has adverts on the side.
And I thought dragons were already dangerous

Wizards of the Coast
Wizards of the Coast is a handgun that can speak French! It keeps your teeth clean.

Kender
Kender is a stereo system that sticks to the skin!

Driz'zt
Driz'zt is a walking stick that's not suitable for children! It improves upper-body muscle.


My cat
My cat is like a normal carpet, but it slices vegetables.
So true

 

[Zappo]

My cat
My cat is like a normal carpet, but it slices vegetables.

I disagree.

Your cat
Your cat is a false moustache that blocks UV light!

 

[Mathew_Freeman]

I disagree.

Your cat
Your cat is a false moustache that blocks UV light!

I disagree!

their cats
their cats are like a normal contact lens, but they communicate with wireless devices.

And:

my house
my house is a television set that glows at night!

my gaming group
my gaming group is like a normal toaster, but it's voice-activated.

my campaign
my campaign is a hat that doesn't distract you from your work! It may have harmful side effects and glows in the dark.

Awk! No more, no more...

 

[Knight Otu]

Design #3707684571
It's an explosive device that blocks spam email! It knows your name.

Should I be afraid now?


Design #2181177084
It's a newly-discovered breed of fish that makes clicking noises! It contains the entire Encyclopaedia Britannica and smells a bit funny.

More fish! But how do they communicate the Encyclopaedia Britannica? Morse?


Design #4159097707
It's a newly-discovered breed of fish that has room for a bathtub inside! It sticks to the skin.

I'm starting to worry...


Design #960427068
It's a first-aid kit that believes itself to be self-aware! It can be controlled remotely.

Hmmm...

 

[-Warlord-]

Design #891187083
It's a parachute that's inflammable! It detects evil and is heavier than it looks.
- Would YOU jump out of a plane with this strapped to your back?-

Design #2608217616
It's like a normal pair of trousers, but it emits heat.
- Perfect for those long cold winterdays, actually....were can I get mine?-

Design #793739670
It's a microwave that soothes babies! It keeps food warm.
- So you're supposed to put the baby into the microwave then? I can remember a nasty lawsuit about a microwave and a little dog..-

Design #4099616902
It's a sticky label that can be programmed to perform simple tasks!
- "stick!"-

Design #843920067
It's an armchair that has velcro pads on the side and secretes a sticky glue.
- once you sit down, you never get up-

Design #3161574930
It's a burglar alarm! It can be used to deter muggers!

Design #3085433191
It's a sofa that gets +2 to kill undead!

Design #3733952769
It's a pair of shoes that affixes to any flat surface, moulds to fit its user and repels bees.
- usefull if you don't actually want to go anywhere in a comfortable way..-

Design #1445863330
It's a freezer that makes reassuring noises, communicates via Instant Messenger and talks.
-"Hey Jim, you got plenty of vegetables, your mom would be proud"-

Design #1004222452
It's a rocket launcher that plays MP3s and scans its user's fingerprints.
-Queen- "Who wants to live forever?" "Another one bites the dust" "We are the champions"-

Design #2485424171
It's a sock that emits harmful gases! It kills weeds down to the root.

 

[Zappo]

I disagree!

their cats
their cats are like a normal contact lens, but they communicate with wireless devices.

Actually, that cat is a housebrick that emits thick black smoke and is made entirely of wood.

 

[Buttercup]

Buttercup is a samurai sword that disolves in water and revolves.

Versitile, that's me.

Design #1536300151
It's a letter-opener that wears a waistcoat and tie! It runs on tapwater and sounds better than it looks.

Do you have to undress it to open letters?

Design #1745571929
It's a trouser press that's smaller than a matchbox, is laced with vodka and scares dogs.

Handy for the business traveller, what?

Design #174237468
It's an earring that recites haiku! It follows you around and shouts 'WARNING!' at the first sign of danger.

Well, now I know what I'll be getting my mother-in-law for christmas.

Design #2134554726
It's an electronic implant that cleans itself! It probably won't work and fits into the boot of a car.

This must have been something that Maxwell Smart used.