(OT sort of) Help dealing with a player over the edge

[Stone Angel]

I recently discovered something yesterday at our session. First let me start off by informing you that our group covers a wide gammut(sp) of ages. Myself and two others are 21-22, one guy is 28, then we have three 16 yr old guys.
So one of the 16 yr olds I found out prays to St. Cuthbert before every one of his football games. At first I just laughed. Then the other two (16) guys told me that he has a small shrine to him in his room. Not only that but he prays to other DnD gods also. Don't get me wrong when I was that age I thought about DnD a lot too, while mowing the yard ect., well I still do that. So it is in my opinion that this kid needs a little break from DnD. Am I over reacting? Has anyone else had anything like this happen? Advice needed.

 

[Airwolf]

That would freak me out.

I don't think I can be of much help because I don't know what I would do if I found out that kind of information about one of the people I gamed with.

I would say that professional help would be best but I wouldn't know how to suggest it.

Then again, this might be a fun troll too.

 

[Orias]

It depends. I think seriously worshipping a fantasy character is over the top, & that person needs not only to have a break from the medium that he is misinterpreting, but he should also be talked to.

This depends on what "worship" is. Does he actually believe in St. Cuthburt in a theological sense, or is it just a joke he tells his friends that they are taking too seriously? I mean, over my years I have joked about who I have worshipped, from D&D gods, to Egyptian/Mesopotamian deities, to fantasy characters, to people I know. Some people took this too seriously, & the case you are saying might just suffer from this. I suggest talking to the kid.

 

[Gospog]

Well, since you asked.

Is this guy hurting anyone?
If you're in the USA, this guy has a right to practice whatever religion he chooses.

Every day, I deal with people who beleive in gods that I perceive as "make believe", and base thier beliefs on a book.
They don't seem any more prone to hurt themselves or anyone else than me.

Is what this kid is doing any different?

Mind you, I do think it's a little extreme, but if he's not hurting anyone, I don't see a problem.

On the other hand, if he is venerating Orcus with a shrine to match, and his brothers' puppy has been missing for weeks, then maybe a friendly chat would be in order.

Good luck.

 

[King_Stannis]

maybe start joking around a little more at the table. start to clue him in that the reason you guys are all playing is for the fun of it and to blow off steam. if he doesn't start to come around, have a private talk with him and tell him he either snaps out of it or he doesn't play for a while.

as a last resort, get his parents involved. painful as it may be, they'll thank you in the end. it's worth losing a player to prevent a tragedy, even if the chances of it happening are small. he is still a minor, after all.

 

[King_Stannis]

Re: Well, since you asked.

Is this guy hurting anyone?
If you're in the USA, this guy has a right to practice whatever religion he chooses.

Every day, I deal with people who beleive in gods that I perceive as "make believe", and base thier beliefs on a book.
They don't seem any more prone to hurt themselves or anyone else than me.

Is what this kid is doing any different?

Mind you, I do think it's a little extreme, but if he's not hurting anyone, I don't see a problem....

forgive me, but that's a little irresponsible. he might not be hurting anyone else, but there sure is the potential he could be hurting himself by slipping into an unhealthy fantasy world.

Your parallelling of the world's popular religions to those based on a game's pantheon is fairly silly. The "Big 3" religions have their basis in historical facts, stories and fables. The priesthood of St. Cuthbert was thought up by the creators of a game.

And once more, he's a MINOR. He has the freedom to do what his parents let him do.

 

[Kilmore]

Okay, yeah. As an American he does have the right to worship as he pleases, but if as a DM or a fellow player, you see that one of your gaming companions is taking things where they should not go, you at least should talk with him and find out where he really stands on this whole worshipping St. Cuthbert thing.

I'd say he's just acting weird because he enjoys it and the attention it gets him. But if that's the case, explain to him that you and your group don't want that kind of attention. Show him that "Dark Dungeons" or whatever it was pamphlet that was put out a few years ago and let him know how it freaks people out and puts our hobby in a dark light. I'm sure someone would be more than happy to provide the link.

If he's for real about this, contact his parents as soon as possible! Explain that we're just in this as a game, and he's not supposed to take this so far. Suggest counciling, and if you are inclined, participate and explain that it's supposed to be a game, not a cult.

 

[Zappo]

Weird. Could be a troll, though. In any case, I don't see anything really wrong. People around the world worship pretty much anything. I mean, it's not like your average niche religion has more factual evidence than a D&D god. As long as he doesn't worship Tharizdun or Graz'zt he's fine. Just don't let some right extremist know this.

 

[Mercule]

This depends on what "worship" is. Does he actually believe in St. Cuthburt in a theological sense, or is it just a joke he tells his friends that they are taking too seriously? I mean, over my years I have joked about who I have worshipped, from D&D gods, to Egyptian/Mesopotamian deities, to fantasy characters, to people I know. Some people took this too seriously, & the case you are saying might just suffer from this. I suggest talking to the kid.

Agreed. Just talk to him.

The running joke in my circle of friends is that I'm a vampire (there's a mage, a druid, and a werewolf, too). This has been going on for ten years and we never think about it any more (although the jokes persist). We didn't realize how it might be perceived until one of the guys started dating a gal who admitted to be a bit weirded out because we never "break character".

Now, we're all pretty normal and most people at our jobs, whatever, don't even know we game. We just slip into jokes about vampires, etc. when we hang out, just like a lot of people slip into "critical hit" jokes.

Anyway, point being, he may be kidding around and not realize everone else isn't in on the joke. Or he might be a bit nuts. If it's the former, everything is cool if you just ask him and nothing gets blown out of proportion.

If it's the latter, someone from the gaming group had best be the one to make an issue out of it. If his someone else does so first, it'll be like a Jack Chick comic come to life. And I _really_ don't want to have that happen (might have to exsanguinate somebody).

 

[RSKennan]

I personally wouldn't be too worried. He's only 16, which in my view is old enough to know how to separate reality from fantasy, but still young enough to pretend with all your heart, even wish, a little, that this stuff was real. I'm sure a lot of us have wished we could be wisked away to the D&D world of our choice. I used to think about which classes my friends and I would be if we found ourselves "on the other side", but I never once really believed it would happen. Then my guardians found some stories I wrote about this, and gave me hell. It was never as easy to just go play D&D after that We had quite a few huge arguments about the game. I would seriously think about whether or not to talk to his parents. If they are "cool" it might be good. But if they are at all reactionary, small-minded, or "old-fashioned" , I'd try to handle it without them.
<Edit: I very much agree with the stement above>