Viking Bastard
Adventurer
Dating... the final frontier. The act of gettin' a girl. A female companion. That is, from the perspective of the boy (well, most boys). Someone to love, kiss, cuddle with, brag about (let's face it) and make us feel complete (that is, as complete as it's gonna be without actual lightsabers or WuXia fighting skills).
Of course, "dating" as is traditional in many foreign western countries does not work quite the same here in Iceland. There's no first date/second date/third date etc. as we see in foreign media. You meet someone, you hit off, you keep meeting them usually with friends, then without friends, somewhere down the lane SHE deceides whether you are "dating" or not (sorry guys, we never have a say in this). Sex can come in any at any time in this process and sex does not HAVE to mean you're dating, just courting (this varies greatly with people).
That said, I was never good at it. The whole dating thing was a mystery to me. Why exactly did the jerks always get the girls? I could not get it. It was just... odd. I mean, it didn't seem to matter if those jerks were popular or not. A nice popular guy was just as likely to be without a girl as the unpopular ones. But the jerk, no matter his social standing, was always dating.
Then it dawned on me.
The jerks, having their personalities, went out and got themselves dates. They were aggressive. They went out and asked. I mean, if you flirt with enough girls you are bound to finally find someone that'll like you.
So I had to be aggressive... that's a bit hard. I'm not an aggressive kind of guy. I'm the laid-back-and-just-chillin'-kinda-guy. I'm not a go-out-and-grab-er but order-over-the-phone-or-particularly-over-the-internet-so-I-won't-have-to-deal-with-those-damn-stupid-teens-they-put-in-answering-the-phones-and-damn-I-hate-that-"on hold"-elevator-y-music.
In other words. When trying to charm girls, I never got very far. I know I can be very charming, I can feel it and all my teachers I've ever had seemed to adore me, even if I never actually did any actual work or got good grades, but I've never been able to harness the power, the Force, of charisma. I often started out very charmed, but somewhere along the way, without any warning, it's like someone just pressed the 'off' button.
A friend came to the rescue. A female friend no less. She said: "You can be funny. Be funny. It works!" Well, there's an idea! Then it's time to try it out.
Then, when you've won her over with your witty sense of humour, you switch from 'fun-mode' to 'charm-her-mode'. This was an ever harder obstacle.
Then, as it turned out, and even harder thing was to keep the girl after you'd charmed her. The real trial of fire came when she started to see my darker sides, my-not-as-funny-sides.
Guess what happened. I got a girlfriend. And guess who it was, you all saw this coming, my friend that gave me my dating advice. Heh! It's was just about being yourself and take a good look around you.
(of course she dumped me eventually, after sixteen months or so, but hey, I feel richer than I did before and heck, I got some booty!)
Of course, "dating" as is traditional in many foreign western countries does not work quite the same here in Iceland. There's no first date/second date/third date etc. as we see in foreign media. You meet someone, you hit off, you keep meeting them usually with friends, then without friends, somewhere down the lane SHE deceides whether you are "dating" or not (sorry guys, we never have a say in this). Sex can come in any at any time in this process and sex does not HAVE to mean you're dating, just courting (this varies greatly with people).
That said, I was never good at it. The whole dating thing was a mystery to me. Why exactly did the jerks always get the girls? I could not get it. It was just... odd. I mean, it didn't seem to matter if those jerks were popular or not. A nice popular guy was just as likely to be without a girl as the unpopular ones. But the jerk, no matter his social standing, was always dating.
Then it dawned on me.
The jerks, having their personalities, went out and got themselves dates. They were aggressive. They went out and asked. I mean, if you flirt with enough girls you are bound to finally find someone that'll like you.
So I had to be aggressive... that's a bit hard. I'm not an aggressive kind of guy. I'm the laid-back-and-just-chillin'-kinda-guy. I'm not a go-out-and-grab-er but order-over-the-phone-or-particularly-over-the-internet-so-I-won't-have-to-deal-with-those-damn-stupid-teens-they-put-in-answering-the-phones-and-damn-I-hate-that-"on hold"-elevator-y-music.
In other words. When trying to charm girls, I never got very far. I know I can be very charming, I can feel it and all my teachers I've ever had seemed to adore me, even if I never actually did any actual work or got good grades, but I've never been able to harness the power, the Force, of charisma. I often started out very charmed, but somewhere along the way, without any warning, it's like someone just pressed the 'off' button.
- Me: Your eyes are deep like a symphony of thousand galaxies, dancing to to tune of time and mystery.
She: Gosh!
Me: Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you again?
She: Oh my!
Me: I have bunny slippers!
She: Er... I have to go now.
- She: I mean, what am I supposed to do? Should I do it or not?
Me: Do or do not, there is no try.
She: But, if I do, she'll be hurt, I can't have that on my consciousness.
Me: With great power comes great responsibility.
She: Eh... uh... what?
Me: It's just a question to boldly go where no one has gone before!
She: You're weird.
- Me: ...and then he said, that's not a duck, it's my wife!
She: Hahahah! Good one.
Me: ( . . . )
She: I said, 'Good one'!!
Me: What? Huh? Who are you?
A friend came to the rescue. A female friend no less. She said: "You can be funny. Be funny. It works!" Well, there's an idea! Then it's time to try it out.
- She: What do you mean I'm a mendicant?
Me: No, not you, it's a joke, you see, there's this guy, Groo and...
She: Groo this! *SLAP*
- She: WHAT?!
Me: I said 'your tits are so big...'
She: *SLAP*
- She: What?!? I adore Bill Clinton!
Me: Me too, I just thought it was funny that...
She: *SLAP*
- Me: And then Jesus said, honey she's eating my popco--... oh my god you're an Jehova's Witness aren't you?!?
She: *SLAP*
Then, when you've won her over with your witty sense of humour, you switch from 'fun-mode' to 'charm-her-mode'. This was an ever harder obstacle.
- Me: I mean, what is the deal with airline food? I mean, it's really bad 'n stuff!
She: Hahahaha!
Me: Now... off with yer knickers!
She: *SLAP*
Then, as it turned out, and even harder thing was to keep the girl after you'd charmed her. The real trial of fire came when she started to see my darker sides, my-not-as-funny-sides.
- Me: You F$#%/ damn sugarcoated &%$%&, may you bleed paper and sh&$# stones you mothernotnicedoing $%@%$A&!!!
She: Stop yelling at the TV and who is this Braga character you keep cursing at?!?
Me: This is Star Trek, it's customary to do this.
She: This is just weird. Don't call me.
Guess what happened. I got a girlfriend. And guess who it was, you all saw this coming, my friend that gave me my dating advice. Heh! It's was just about being yourself and take a good look around you.
(of course she dumped me eventually, after sixteen months or so, but hey, I feel richer than I did before and heck, I got some booty!)
Now all I have to do is stop being a coward and take the initiative. 
