[OT] The Secrets of Dating, or How to Get the Girl!

[Alzrius]

So the only advice I can give is to stop looking, but go places where you wouldn't normally go. Once you do find a women that sticks around, make sure that she doesn't try to stop you from doing the things you enjoy or otherwise try to change you.

In other words: "Don't be aggressive, be available" yes? That seems to be the message here...at least, I think it is.

Considering that I try to do this though, and still have never had a girlfriend (though I have just fooled around with a few of the girls on my college, but we knew it was just for fun), take my interpretation with a grain of salt.

 

[rounser]

I'm trying to imagine what the female members of the board make of threads like these.

I also note that you don't see the "advice on how to date guys" threads so much - the focus for women (in the media, at least) seems to be more on "advice on how to look attractive."

 

[jester47]

The reasons jerks get the girls is that they are themselves no matter what. This makes them very easy to know. Most women want to know that you can disagree and that you know who you are. When you are not a trier you are not a liar. The quiet kind guy is an unknown variable. The jerk is not. The second you become a known variable your chances improve. Essentially, to quote the title of a book I have seen, dont be nice, be real.

Aaron.

 

[Arcane Runes Press]

"Women can smell desperation. And it stinks."
-JenY, wife extraordinaire

Translated into a 4 step guide for meeting girls:

Step 1: Don't be needy
Step 2: Don't be a loser
Step 3: Don't be a needy loser
Step 4: Reread steps 1-3


Patrick Y.

 

[Wormwood]

The reasons jerks get the girls is that they are themselves no matter what.

According to my wife (who knows a thing or two about chicks), women tend to go for jerks because jerks are confident.

Women really like confidence.

Unfortunately, some men blur the line between being confident and arrogant. Still, arrogance is preferable to weakness.

I spoke to my wife about this thread, and this is what she had to say:

"A women decides within one minute of meeting a man whether she will ever allow him to sleep with her. Sixty seconds, boys. Make 'em count"

Wormwife is pretty cool.

 

[jester47]

Priorities seem to be a big factor too. If you are really into say RPGs, then that means less time for job and family. (Yes, I know there are exceptions, but for the most part this is true.) Less time for job indicates irresponsibility and less time for family indicates insensitivity. At least thats how I see it.

Aaron.

 

[jester47]

According to my wife (who knows a thing or two about chicks), women tend to go for jerks because jerks are confident.

Women really like confidence.

Unfortunately, some men blur the line between being confident and arrogant. Still, arrogance is preferable to weakness.

I spoke to my wife about this thread, and this is what she had to say:

"A women decides within one minute of meeting a man whether she will ever allow him to sleep with her. Sixty seconds, boys. Make 'em count"

Wormwife is pretty cool.

If you do not change your social behavior for anyone or any situation, then you come off as confident. This is ussually a result of being secure with yourself that you are open in any situation. The confidence and being yourself go hand in hand and are prolly one and the same.

I would agree with the one minute. Which is pretty generous when you consider that a firefighter oral board makes thier decision of passing or failing you within the forst 27 seconds of meeting you.

 

[Wormwood]

I would agree with the one minute. Which is pretty generous when you consider that a firefighter oral board makes thier decision of passing or failing you within the forst 27 seconds of meeting you.

Well, in the interest of full disclosure, she originally said 10 seconds.

I talked her up to one minute because the alternative was way too depressing

edit: I didn't know about the firefighter thing. Wow. No pressure there, huh?

 

[jester47]

I would say that the 60 seconds thing works for first impressions only. I believe that should you blow it (say you were not prepared, wore the smelly shirt instead of the one that makes you look good) you can rally after a little while has passed. But thats rare and only works in extenuating circumstances. In other words you appear as someone you are not.

Yeah, oral boards can be brutal. you get the 27 second first impression, then dependinginon how you do you can either make your chances better or blow the whole thing as they ask you questions. But if you blow the first 27, there is almost nothing you can do to recover.

I think the same ideas float for women.

Aaron.

 

[Malin Genie]

my problem was always that it was hard to get a girl,but when I got one all kinds of girls seemed to want me......odd

That's because women trust the judgement of other women - at least more than they trust the judgement of men.

The more attractive your girlfriend the more this phenomenon occurs (perhaps along the lines of "She has a lot of choice and she's picked him. Hmm, must be something good...")