Holy Bovine
First Post
*Gasp* *Wheeze* Can't*catch*breath*
Oh my god that was funny!!
This is comedy gold!
Chun-tzu said:I can help you find it. By using hypnotism, I can put you in a trance to help you remember where you left it. Trust me, it works every single time. Ok, ready?
Get something on a pendulum and start swinging it slowly. never taking your eyes off the pendulum (while you simultaneously read my instructions). Take deep, slow breaths, and count down from 20. As you start reaching 1, you find yourself entering a hypnotic trance.
...5...4...3...2...1... You are now in a hypnotic trance.
You will go out and buy a glamor magazine and think it is your Player's Handbook. You will find answers to every D&D question in this magazine. You will not understand why people laugh at you when you create a level 16 supermodel with the feats Great Cleavage and Weapon Finesse: Stiletto Heels. You will wonder why you never noticed Vadania on the cover and wonder when she got so skinny. You will laugh at EN Boarders who type "Rogue" when they obviously mean "Rouge". Whenever you make a Knowledge or Lore check, you will recall how to keep a man or how to make your orgasms last longer. You will carry 5 different suits of the same kind of armor (but in different styles and colors) with you on every adventure, because you refuse to be seen in the same outfit during different encounters. You will insist that your character reroll on the weight table every week, because he's been on this new diet, and get depressed whenever your character has not lost weight.
Ok, when I count to 5, you will awaken fully refreshed. You will carry out my instructions but not be able to remember anything that happened while you were in the trance. 1...2...3...4...5...
There. Now why don't you go for a stroll past the nearest magazine stand and I bet you remember exactly where you left it.
Oh my god that was funny!!
This is comedy gold!
