[OT]wierd likely misheard sports commentary

[johnsemlak]

I've wanted to write a spoof sports commentary dialog for a long time. Here's a few ideas. There are fictious, but based on stuff I've heard:


-I think the stat to pay attention to in this match is points scored. I think the team that scores...will win the game.

-You think that will be enough?

. . .


-This just in, a huge trade has just been announced. The Wildcats have traded 3 first round draft picks, two second round picks, and a minor leaguer to the Redbirds for a 4 3rd round draft picks, a 3rd base coach, and a player to be named later. Bob, what do you think the impact of that trade will be on the central division?

 

[Frostmarrow]

From Sweden:

"He has the opportunity to shoot in the goal-post."

"Yeah, what can I say? You just break down and move on."

"You had a very impotent offensive. It just wouldn't go in."

"It could be the drop to break the camel's back."

"No one thinks this goal will affect the result."

"That serve had a speed of 205 km/h, sort of like a moped."

"I saw this game last year."

"This has been a carrot for all of us but now it's been extinguished."

"The training camp was in Spain, somewhere in Portugal."

"Either will Schumacher enter the pitstop this lap, or he won't!"

"Things look dark on the Kameroonian bench."

"Come on boys! Knees at knee-height!"

"The entire season we've been balancing on a banana peel."

"This is the first time Sweden win over Italy, in Italy, against Italy!"

 

[wighair]

And for non-brits here are some old snooker (like pool but with a bigger table) ones....

When an old player couldn't quite clamber on to the table to reach a difficult shot:

"Poor old Joe. He's too old to get his leg over... He has to use his left hand instead"

and from years ago:

"For those of you watching in black and white... the yellow ball is the one beside the green"