Out of the dice bag? (secrecy and D&D)

[Djeta Thernadier]

EDIT : Multiple Post

 

[Pseudonym]

I usually fall back on the "I'm getting together with some friends" line, which is not so much a lie as lack of elaboration.

My friends all know I game, but I haven't mentoned it to my current co-workers. I did mention it to a few of the people I worked with in my previous job, and got a few crude comments and odd looks. Weirdly though, I got less of a negative reaction when I told them I had to go to a coven meeting than when I told them I was getting togther to play D&D. Funny that they were more open minded about a person's religion than about their hobbies.

 

[Djeta Thernadier]

That was an unrealistically long sentence.

If it wasn't real, how did I read it!? Am I living in another dimension again, like in that other thread?!?

So, anyone who really matters in my life can deal with my hobbies, and anyone who doesn't is probably saying more about themselves than they are about me if they decide to think less of me over a harmless hobby.

I agree with this. I think , quite frankly, that if someone is going to immediately jump to negative conclusions about me, (she's childish, she worships satan...) because of a hobby I enjoy, it's going to tell me something about them. Of course , it's different if they say something about it and seem like they really just don't know. For instance, if someone says, " But I thought D&D players were evil, devil worshipping freaks....is that not true?" and seems interested or clarified when I explain the truth, then that's fine. But I've found that most people who are going to jump to that conclusion, don't bother asking. And I don't need friends like that. Luckily, I've met very few who think of D&D in a bad way.

 

[Desdichado]

I don't give up personal details about anything else I'm doing in casual conversation to people I don't know that well, so gaming fits right in there.

People I know relatively well, to the point where I'd also say "yeah, we're going to the Cidar Mill and Haunted Barn with the kids this weekend" type, I'd probably also tell them I'm playing D&D. If it came up, anyway. I wouldn't wear D&D on my sleeve, so to speak. Although I do want to get one of those RPG t-shirts one of these days.

 

[Bloodsparrow]

Person asking : Whatcha doing Friday?
Person playing : I'm going to invite 6 friends over and pretend to brutally off one of them, then have the rest of them figure out the crime
Person asking : oh neat...can I come?

Ha! I think the makers of the "How to host a murder" kits would have had a harder time selling the idea if they had put it like that.

I think, maybe, because it came in a cute little, one shot, kit. And it wasn't attached to the D&D brand (or anything like it).

Just clever marketing I suppose. They way they went about presenting the kits, and where they sold them, was different then what you would find with more "conventional" RPGs.

It really helps bridge the gap though. My Mom just couldn't wrap her brain around what I saw in this "game", but she has been to a Murder Mystery party. She and Dad had a total blast (She was a french maid and Dad was a drug dealer), so when I drew the connection she had something more to go on.

 

[KnowTheToe]

Anybody ever do a murder mystery night. They are not as cool as described above. I received one for a gift and never used it Because of it lameness. You listened to a tape and then asked each other questions. Snoozeville.

 

[Desdichado]

We've done three "Murder" nights. There not snoozers at all if you do it with the right people. When we did the "Saturday Night Cleaver" game, we had folks talking in accents, dressing in costume, and the like -- it was actually quite fun.

 

[Arnwyn]

I don't give up personal details about anything else I'm doing in casual conversation to people I don't know that well, so gaming fits right in there.

Ditto. My most detailed response will be "sorry, some of my buddies are coming over".

 

[KnowTheToe]

We've done three "Murder" nights. There not snoozers at all if you do it with the right people. When we did the "Saturday Night Cleaver" game, we had folks talking in accents, dressing in costume, and the like -- it was actually quite fun.

How did it work? Was it listening to tapes and then asking questions, or a different format? What did your friends enjoy, which parts do you think inspired them to interact?

My worry was nobody would get into it.

 

[Sam]

I'm solidly in the camp of tell friends/neighbors (because I'm not overly concerned about their opinon or they already know I'm a geek) but in the closet with co-workers. In fact, when taking a couple of days before Labor Day weekend for me & my wife to go to our first Con, I told people we were going to be driving around upstate NY visiting friends & family. I just don't want to a) have to explain it to people, and b) deal with the preconceptions and potential abuse. I work in a investment bank/trading floor environment and it can be kind of brutal. (Know the Toe, consider me weak too.)
Furthermore, when a significant portion of my income is bonus driven (and therefore discretionary on the part of management), saying "I can't work late Friday because my gaming group is coming over at 7:30PM to play Dungeons & Dragons" just doesn't work as well as saying "I've got a commitment tonight and can't work late".