Perfect 1 film-speeches.

[Piratecat]

Anakin: I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth.

 

[Pielorinho]

Oh, man, Kevin, how did I forget Anakin's sand speech? My wife and I will occasionally whine that at one another still at opportune moments; it's achieved legendary status for bad dialogue. Definitely a winner.

Daniel

 

[Taren Seeker]

Anakin: I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth.

..."Like you" *insert creepy stalker leer*

It's that last part that really puts the speech in the toilet.

Good one, I can't believe I forgot it too.

 

[Kai Lord]

I can't believe no one has mentioned Morpheus' god awful speech to the denizens of Zion in Matrix Reloaded. "Let us show the machines that no matter how close they get, WE ARE STILL HERE, and let them hear that WE STILL HAVE ORGIES!"

The reason Anakin's dreadful comment about coarse sand probably wasn't mentioned by most people is because it wasn't a speech.

 

[TracerBullet42]

I can't believe no one has mentioned Morpheus' god awful speech to the denizens of Zion in Matrix Reloaded. "Let us show the machines that no matter how close they get, WE ARE STILL HERE, and let them hear that WE STILL HAVE ORGIES!"

Oh yeah! I forgot about that speech. That one is truly awful. My friends and I like to quote that one and add, "DON'T YOU HATE ROBOTS???!!!!" to the end of it, ala Homer's famous quote of, "Don't you hate pants?"

Ugh...Reloaded and Revolutions...what happened? The first one was SO good...

 

[Morrus]

Bill's "Superman" speech in Kill Bill 2. I felt it was out of character for him - that was QT talking, not the character Bill. I can imagine someone in Res Dogs making that speech, but not Bill.

 

[Capellan]

Samuel L. Jackson's "Man vs. Nature" speech in the abysmally bad Deep Blue Sea, which is completed by a moment's dramatic pause, and then him being snapped in half by the mutant genius shark. It totally cracked me up.

You know, I rather think it is supposed to

I love that film, for precisely that reason ... it's over the top, silly fun, and it knows it.

 

[Kai Lord]

Bill's "Superman" speech in Kill Bill 2. I felt it was out of character for him - that was QT talking, not the character Bill. I can imagine someone in Res Dogs making that speech, but not Bill.

Good one. Great monologue, but totally out of place.

 

[barsoomcore]

George Clooney makes some pretty stupid announcements in Three Kings.

Mr. Russell, *clonk* I begin to believe *clonk* you're OPPOSED to this war. I don't necessarily *clonk * fault the *clonk* sentiment (not making *clonk* political statements here), but could you *clonk* STOP HITTING ME OVER THE HEAD WITH IT?

*clonk*

Ouch.

Agreed on Sam's unfortunate speech in TTT. I also think Aragorn's speech at the end of RotK lacks a little punch, and it comes at such a crucial moment. They should have stuck with Tolkien at that point:

"Stand, Men of the West! Stand and wait! This is the hour of doom!"

Not competing with Bernard Hill's MAGNIFICENT moment in front of Pelennor, that way. Which you KNEW was going to make Viggo look like the lesser man. And does.

And I'm just going to tempt fate here and say that Arnold just DOESN'T nail that speech. It's a GREAT speech, no kidding, but he's just not carrying it for me. I know, I know. Don't even bother.

 

[Tonguez]

Wait... isn't that every Seagal film since Under Siege 2?

-Hyp.

Yeah you got to admit Seagals a genius - play the exact same character, in the exact same setting, following the exact same plot and just change the scenery - brilliant