Piratecat's up-to-date story hour (updated on 8/10, come game with PCat at GenCon!)


First Post
Rabble, Rabble!

Hi, and welcome to PirateCat's Almost-But-Not-Quite-Dead-Yet-(I'm-Feeling-Better!), Hasn't-Been-Up-To-Date-In-Almost-FOREVER Story Hour! Filling in for your Host, The M.I.A. Pirate Cat-Thief-Napper, I'll be your host for this Episode of:


In our lastest Episode, as you may not remember, The Arch-Ghoul had just been incinerated by Phoenix-fire, inside the Cube of Force, after having been hit by Nolin's Ring of Incontinence. In this week's extraneous escresence, we'll see how the King of the Clouds gets his head handed back to him by an ancient Archmage! Stay tuned, we'll be right back, after these important messages from our sponsors!


Insert PKitty's favoritest Hostess Twinkies/Fruit Pie commercial, here...


And, we're back!

Now, in this Amazing Episode of Stuffs That Never Really Happened, the King of the Cloud Giants (or "Imperator", as he likes to style himself), is just about to launch his attack on the Defenders of Daybreak, as they are being visited by Ioun, the Magic-User... We'll pick up, there, and remember, folks... It's all in Good Fun!, because It Never Really Happened! :D

"Griffins... A-wing!" roared the Imperator, launcing his troops into battle. He turned to stare at the bombadier. A second and a half later, that expert nodded, and looked up...

"LAUNCH MOUNTAIN-TOPS!" the King of the Clouds roared. Giants heaved with their poles, tipping the severed tops of several peaks off the sides of the Cloud Island, sending them hurtling towards the former Steading of the Hill-Giant Chieftains, far below...

The Griffins, of course, and his Roc-riding battle troops, were out from under, staying out of the way, until the missile barrage had done its damage. The Imperator moved to the Cloud Island's side, peering over, to see the rain of destruction strike...

"The best-laid plans of mice and men often go astray." But what care Cloud Giants for Men, let alone mice? That is one reason why mice and men are so many, and Giants so few!

Meanwhile, on the ground, Emperor Ioun, a product of a previous age, last known survivor of the Wish-Wars, continued in his ancient ways, doing things that long, unexcusing experience had taught him to. A dinosaur of an ancient age, still surviving in this one...

Every day, he made Wishes. Every day, he Wished that he knew of any plans that his enemies made against him, and another that their Wishes against him were negated...

And so, as Agar recovered from his visions, and crawled out from under the table, as the self-styling Emperator ordered his troops to the wing, Ioun was aware of his plans. As the rain of mountain-tops began, Ioun knew, and persed his lips, briefly considering which spell to cast...

Wish, even though his older version required no XP, seemed over-kill. Teleport, with or without error, would get him out, but he would still have to waste another, for his Secretary, Annel... The answer was more obvious... He smiled, as he cast it.

"Gravitatum Reversicus"!, he cried, pausing briefly before beginning the Teleport Without Error. Then, he popped inside, took his Secretary by the hand, and told the Defenders of Daybreak present:

"Sorry to cut and run, but I'm sure you can handle the attack of a few Cloud Giants... Perhaps my Secretary and I can return at a later date... One more conducive to our speaking!" With that, he began the incantation again, whisking himself and his Lady to his castle.

Meanwhile, outside, the levered, severed mountain-tops had fallen, the Rocs and Griffins soared, the Giants prepared their weapons and spells. The peaks had fallen, picking up speed, hurtling towards the now-Temple-of-Calphas, far below, as the Cloud Island sailed ever closer, like a mighty Warship of the sky, springing a well-laid ambush upon some unsuspecting Merchant-man. The Defenders sprang into motion, racing outside...

Then, the falling rocks slowed, stopped, and reversed course... They flew upwards, finally impacting the floating Cloud Island with almost the same velocity with which they should have impacted the Temple! The Cloud Island, attacked from below by such force, cracked, splitting in two! The Imperator, peering over the edge, had barely a fraction of a second to perceive his peril, and attempt to move back!

As the Island split in two, he slid over the side, beginning the long fall to Earth... Quickly, he cast Feather-fall, and watched as yet another Steading of the Giants was added to the "Lost" column, for the Giants, "Win", for the Defenders!

He wasn't even given the satisfaction of seeing the two new Mega-missiles that had formerly made up the conjoined halves of his Island strike the Temple... Since the Island had been moving, when it split, one piece landed miles to the SE of the Temple. The other, while striking close, hit on the other side of the mountain range, creating a crater that Galthia and Stone Bear commented upon, as they returned to their friends.

Enraged even more, the Emperator touched down, drawing his massive battle blade. Enough!, he thought. These puny Humans must go "Squish!" under my feet!


Some guys just never learn, huh?

Anyway, join us next time, for "Teliez and the 'Ladies'", with our special guest-stars, Tom Welling, and Kristen Kreuk, on the next Episode of: Stuffs That Never Really Happened!

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First Post
I hate to be a doomsayer, but has ANYONE heard from the DoD gang? I think it was before GenCon when any of them last posted. I hope everything's ok. If anyone talks to them, have them pop in for a quick comment, just to let us know they're alive.

Radiating Gnome

Jackylhunter said:
I hate to be a doomsayer, but has ANYONE heard from the DoD gang? I think it was before GenCon when any of them last posted. I hope everything's ok. If anyone talks to them, have them pop in for a quick comment, just to let us know they're alive.

Relax. Piratecat posted today in other forums (membership has it's benefits -- the full search tools are groovy.) He's alive, and I'm sure that the "tired and very busy" assessment is fair and true.

And, of course, now that it's been a while it's harder and harder to come back to this and get back in the groove. But I have perfect faith that he'll be back.

The important thing, really, is that he's playing and enjoying life. And the same goes for the rest of the DoD. They're great people, and it's a shame to have lost this distant contact with their game, but I'm sure they're still playing.



First Post
I've stepped in no P-Kitty-litter on the boards (and searched for it), but after I made my "Rabble, Rabble!" post, at the top of this page, I sent PCat a "Holy, Havoc, Batman! Stolen Story Hour!" E-mail, as part of my Neutral Master-Plot to lure him out... Alas, he is too smart for such subterfuges, and remains hidden from me! :(

I did get a reply, though, that he was very busy, and would check it out, later... Maybe if I make "Teliez and the 'Ladies'" really irritating, it will draw him out... Y'think? :p

Hey! It was worth a shot! :D


Anyway, the cthonic-tobogganer has posted, more recently, so we know they're... what's the word? "Alive" doesn't quite fit! How about "Still active"? :p
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Thornir Alekeg

I know that Piratecat made the EN World Game Day in Worcester, MA two weeks ago. I had to cancel, but according to other attendees he was there, ran a game and played in one. So at the very least he has an active simulacrum running around.


Glad to hear that you are all playing. It's a shame about the lack of updates as I really miss them. But so long as you guys are having fun gaming, that is what it really is about.

Lord Pendragon

First Post
Blackjack said:
We're all alive. We're all still playing. We're just not posting updates to the Forums.
Well, none of us are entitled to updates on the Forums, so whatever PC does is whatever PC does. I've enjoyed the Story Hour immensely over the years, and I'm grateful for that. As things stand now, I've placed PC's Story Hour with Sepulchrave's Story Hour, on the list of things to check every couple of months...and even then, expect there to be no update.

Occasionally, I'm pleasantly surprised. :)

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