Psychotic Jim
First Post
A lot of the more humorous stories here remind me of Al Bruno III's RPG rants. Anybody seen his webpage?
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NOW LIVE! Into the Woods--new character species, eerie monsters, and haunting villains to populate the woodlands of your D&D games.
Players from Hell.
- Thread starter Kitsune
- Start date
Teflon Billy
Explorer
Phebius said:
Bardic winka facial gesture, favored by bards, which combines the effects of the rockstar "get over here" gesture and the porn star "come hither" look. This does not ever work.
My god...that's perfect!
Phebius: write a dictionary
Chimera
First Post
I had the "do nothing" clueless group last time. As I've complained about on this site far too often.
One of them, a long time friend, would show up, not pay any attention to the game until it was his time to roll dice. He'd drink a 6-pack of beer and 2-5 shots of *my* scotch (at one point pouring them for himself only when I was out of the room) in the five hours we played. And he'd cheat. Obviously. Right in front of me. Blatantly. And then, when everyone in the room called him on it, he would deny it and act surprised.
He was shocked when I disinvited him from future play. I hear he's been badmouthing me all over the place since then. (Only talked to him twice after that)
In another group, where I was a player, we had these two guys who would come up from a town 90 miles away. One of them would spend the entire time in and out of character screwing off. Nearly killed his own character several times.
Then, in the rotation, we played at my house. He sat on his feet on my couch with his dirty (muddy) shoes on. He ate sunflower seeds and didn't seem to care that half the shells landed on the couch or the floor. The rest he piled on the coffee table. Mostly empty mountain dew cans rapidly piled up. I don't know why he never drank that last 1/2 ounce out of the can.
I pulled up the garbage can and said something about it. He blew me off. At the end of the session, he leaves rapidly without cleaning up a damned thing.
I told the GM that this guy was never again setting foot in my house. One more session with him at another guy's apartment and the entire game was cancelled. I later found out that it was in order to dump this guy and one other person.
One of them, a long time friend, would show up, not pay any attention to the game until it was his time to roll dice. He'd drink a 6-pack of beer and 2-5 shots of *my* scotch (at one point pouring them for himself only when I was out of the room) in the five hours we played. And he'd cheat. Obviously. Right in front of me. Blatantly. And then, when everyone in the room called him on it, he would deny it and act surprised.
He was shocked when I disinvited him from future play. I hear he's been badmouthing me all over the place since then. (Only talked to him twice after that)
In another group, where I was a player, we had these two guys who would come up from a town 90 miles away. One of them would spend the entire time in and out of character screwing off. Nearly killed his own character several times.
Then, in the rotation, we played at my house. He sat on his feet on my couch with his dirty (muddy) shoes on. He ate sunflower seeds and didn't seem to care that half the shells landed on the couch or the floor. The rest he piled on the coffee table. Mostly empty mountain dew cans rapidly piled up. I don't know why he never drank that last 1/2 ounce out of the can.
I pulled up the garbage can and said something about it. He blew me off. At the end of the session, he leaves rapidly without cleaning up a damned thing.
I told the GM that this guy was never again setting foot in my house. One more session with him at another guy's apartment and the entire game was cancelled. I later found out that it was in order to dump this guy and one other person.
Phebius
Explorer
Teflon Billy said:
My god...that's perfect!
Phebius: write a dictionary
Thanks Tef
I feel sorry for you guys. Most of my drunken gaming experiences have been fairly non-disruptive. Except for the one time when Spindle drank a giant portion of a case of beer, sumersaulted into the room, and announced that his character was going to form a band called the LA Dwarves and do an AIDS benefit. Then he realized everyone was looking at him in silence and he rolled back into the next room.
Xeriar
First Post
Krieg said:
Cretin is another word originally referring to a cultural group (Christians).
I'm not defending the practice - but it is important to be aware that it happens, and some words get permenantly entwined into the language.
Sometimes so thoroughly that they survive the next dominant culture that just happens to be represented in said word.
jollyninja
First Post
so i was spending tueseday as i usually did at the time right. i was gaming with the same group i had been weekly for five years. the king of a powerful nation has put a bounty on the group of 3, a N klingon (yes, that's right, the dm is a huge star trek fan so we put up with crap like that because it was a decent game) lasher/shadow dancer npc, a CN halfling rouge/shadowdancer, and my CN ex-monk/psion all with a few well combined magic items. the dm was bored with his pantheon so as a novelty, we were trying out for some vacant spots and had reached lev 19 equivalent with ECL additions from some extra stuff the dm gave us along the way.
the king of this magically challenged (read against magic's existence) nation had little that could impede us as a group from messing with him a little bit. so on the day of his daughter's wedding, the halfling and i decide to "have a little fun" with the partygoers. i'm doing things like pickpocketing dukes and the guy i have known for at least 7 years decides his halfling wants to tie up and rape a young woman he happens upon in a courtyard. my mouth dropped to the floor.
the dm asks him to describe how he is going to do this. and i get up to get a pepsi.........from the 7 eleven.......acros town. i come back hoping for some sanity but the "adventure" ends in an orgy where the mind controled king and his daughter have relations. i have not gamed more then 2 times in the last eight months.
you all got this crap with new guys, this was the meat of my gaming group suddenly gone terribly psychotic. my books are at the dm's house.
the king of this magically challenged (read against magic's existence) nation had little that could impede us as a group from messing with him a little bit. so on the day of his daughter's wedding, the halfling and i decide to "have a little fun" with the partygoers. i'm doing things like pickpocketing dukes and the guy i have known for at least 7 years decides his halfling wants to tie up and rape a young woman he happens upon in a courtyard. my mouth dropped to the floor.
the dm asks him to describe how he is going to do this. and i get up to get a pepsi.........from the 7 eleven.......acros town. i come back hoping for some sanity but the "adventure" ends in an orgy where the mind controled king and his daughter have relations. i have not gamed more then 2 times in the last eight months.
you all got this crap with new guys, this was the meat of my gaming group suddenly gone terribly psychotic. my books are at the dm's house.
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http://www.albruno3.comSlomoot said:
Go to "Rants and Reviews" then scroll down to the "Editorials" section.
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Joshua Randall
Legend
I have to say: that is some seriously funny stuff. Sick, but funny. Does laughing at it make me a bad person?
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