Players from Hell.

[Blasphemonkey]

Okay, I guess my horror story isn't so bad, so I'l summarise it thusly:
I was in a friend's gaming group, I didn't like a particular player, and he didn't like me.
I was playing a female elven wizard, and he a male half-orc fighter.
He tries to rape my character.
He recieves knee to the nads.
Ouch.

Did the player or the character receive this blessing to the nads? Or both?

Inquiring monkeys want to know.

 

[dagger]

Why?

Would you please change your avatar?

 

[Voadam]

One of my players tells me tonight that he's ditching out on my Sunday DNW game. Is it because he has to work? No. Is it because he's got some religious obligation? No. Is it because he has a family matter to address? No. Is it for health reasons? No.

He's ditching out because he wants to see some wankalicious show, and he just decided to do this tonight. Nevermind that two of the other players--who have family and health reasons for their absence--won't be there, so we don't have a quorum and thus can't play. Nevermind that I've put plenty of work into the preparations, or that we moved the schedule for his benefit, or that he's not that popular with the scene right now and thus is on everyone's short list for a curb-stomping, or that he's wasted the efforts of the others in coordinating their busy schedules to match with his needs. None of that matters because there's this really hot chick that he wants to see that fronts some lame band.

My hate of disrespectful, unreliable players burns with the intensity of a thousand suns. (A silent wail) My hat of lamerz know no limit! (/A silent wail)

Huh, my friends have always considered, "I'm seeing this girl that night" a valid reason not to be at a game, especially with advance warning days ahead. Just go on without him, even one on one games are fun.

 

[Bastoche]

Why?

Because that guy on the avatar is in a mental institution because seeing his face on the internet due to some morbid fascination of perverted people toward a poor young overweighted kid making a fool of himself in front a a camera got out of hand.

That poor kid lives in Trois-Riviere, QC, Canada. Some pranksters stole his tape and put it on the internet. They were using the tape without the authors' persmission, if you will, with the intention to ridicule him at his school. Now they ridicule him in front of the entire universe because some ?/%"& thinks it's funny.

In a sense, that avatar constitutes a violation of copyrights and an agreement toward that kind of behavior: laughing at people over the net.

This madness has to stop. It begins with each and everyone one of those &"/&%$ who keeps distributing this video. Thank you.

http://www.wired.com/news/culture/0,1284,59757,00.htm

 

[TommyTutone]

Slightly OT, I was playing Euchere (sp?) with some black friends, and was trying to explain renigging. I was so scared that some hick had come up with the word, that I didn't want to tell them. Sometimes I think this world has just gotten to wrapped up in names and differences. I wish the aliens would hurry up and show themselves so we could concentrate on harrassing another species instead of ourselves!

I guess I would be offended at your use of the word renigging, especially since the word is RENEGING, as in, to renege. Pronounce it properly and suddenly the word is not offensive.

Sorry for the hijack, I just didn't see this addressed and I didn't want to act niggardly in ignoring it.

 

[Sixchan]

Did the player or the character receive this blessing to the nads? Or both?

Inquiring monkeys want to know.

Let's just say the player went home doubled over like the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

The character, of course, recieved a particularly painful death by my magical hand. I can't remember the details, but I'm guessing there was a Shocking Grasp to the balls in there somewhere.

 

[dagger]

Maybe you should take this to meta if you are offended.

Personally, I like the avatar.



EDIT

 

[Bastoche]

Sorry for the off-topic post, but the guy don't show an email adress and I can't pm.

 

[MojoGM]

These stories are very amusing.

I wish I had some to share, but I have not had any players that come even close.

Anyone else have stories to tell?

 

[Nightchilde-2]

Oh, I have several stories..

We had this one player..we'll call her Blackstarre (for that was her handle back in the old BBS days). She kept getting slightly more and more unhinged until the day she called up (shortly after the Crow was released) and said "guess what! I have Brandon Lee's soul in a crystal." And she was serious. BUH BYE.

We had another guy in a Vampire Dark Ages game who threatened Prince Mithras (for those not in the know, Mithras is a VERY powerful character) and, when Mithras told him to watch his tongue, he grabbed a torch and tried to set the room on fire. Mithras staked his butt fast and ordered that he be taken outside, drained of blood and unstaked (this was a VERY lenient punishment) and the player pouted for a few minutes, then the conversation went something like this..

Player: "I leap into the fire."
Me: "You can't. You're staked."
Player: "I leap into the fire anyway."
Other players: "You can't. You're staked."

At which point the player tore up his sheet and stormed out.

And then we have Ms. Gullible. This poor girl would believe ANYTHING you told her. I told her once that the sky was green and she bought it. Unfortunately she took 4 hours to make a starting character. In Vampire (where a character could easily be made in 15 minutes, tops).

In one other Vampire game (I used to play a LOT of World of Darkness, BTW), we had this guy playing a mortal hunter. The conversation went like this..

Me: "You've gotten a good night's sleep, free of horrible dreams. You wake up."
Player: "I open one eye, what do I see?"
Me: "Uhm. Darkness. it's still 3 in the morning."
Player: "I open the other eye, what do I see?"
Me: "Darkness still."
Player: "I put one foot on the ground. Does anything happen?"
Me: "Other than your foot touching cool wood, no."
Player: "I put my other foot on the ground. Does anything happen?"
Me: "Oh geez. No."
Player: "I sit up in bed. Does anything happen?"
Everyone else: "Shut up and get out of bed."

After we FINALLY get his character out of bed he goes about describing, in painstaking detail, how he carves crosses into each bullet and blesses them. Repeating the description for EACH AND EVERY BULLET.

Funny how his character got mostly ignored for the rest of the session and wasn't invited back...