Playing characters of the opposite gender

[Celebrim]

I've been a DM more than a player. As a DM, I play absolutely everything (that isn't a PC) regardless of race, gender, or alignment. Therefore, as a player, I'm pretty much comfortable in the shoes of anything and did once have a female character.

I can understand a player getting a little wierded out by a fellow player playing a character of the opposite gender. I don't really understand a DM having the same problem. You'd think the experience of being a DM would acustom yourself to the idea that you are not your character and aren't trying to live out any particular identity through that character.

That being said, I think I'd be a little wierded out by a player that seemed to be just a bit too attached to or infatuated with a character of the opposite gender. But then again, I get a little wierded out by any player that seems to overly identify with a particular character to the point that the line between character and player begins to blur. I've known characters who were the character and who thought of themselves as the character and always played the exact same character, and its a little bit wierd even without any gender bending. The gender bending would just make it that much wierder. Personally, I hope that everyone at my table is happy being who they are and that they are just playing a fun and sometimes engrossing game. Any more than that is more baggage than I want to deal with during a generally light hearted pasttime.

I think that there is something to be said for playing a character that fits within the sensibilities of the other players. Anything that your friends wouldn't find desirable to air publically probably isn't a fit topic for gaming unless their has been an explicit consensus to explore the topic. I wouldn't as a DM put PC's in a position where their character was raped or graphically tortured. I'd definitely steer clear of any topic that touched to closely on a player's real life traumatic experiences (assuming I knew what they were), unless I had explicit permission to go there. So sometimes you just stay out of a subject matter that the rest of the group doesn't want, even if that means adjusting your character. For example, I once had a CN character. Logically, I couldn't think of a reason why the character wouldn't be bixsexual, and even had hinted at this abit in the character's backstory. But I certainly never forced this on the rest of the group, and would have avoided any oppurtunity to do so.

I think that the above extends to not playing outside of your own gender in a group that isn't fully comfortable with the idea. And to a certain extent, I can see why. I was once in online RPG where one of the players was playing a character of the opposite gender, and the logic of the story dictated a romantic attraction between my character and his. Even though the relationship was purely platonic and chaste and the logic of the story dictated that it remain so, the more the story developed that way the more uncomfortable he became with it.

So as a DM I can think of good reasons to have a 'play your own gender' rule, to avoid intraparty conflict and because I've seen people play the opposite gender out of a sort of voyerism that is either unhealthy or unlikely to retain an lasting fascination, but if I had such a rule it certainly wouldn't be because I'm uncomfortable with the concept of having a character gender, beliefs, ethics or anything else radically different than my own.

 

[On Puget Sound]

It's never been an issue in my games. One problem,though, is that it's frequently hard to keep in mind, especially with androgynous fantasy names. "Thriktil was stung by the scorpion, and now he's turning kind of green." "You mean SHE'S turning green." "Oh yeah, sorry."

A wider selection of character miniatures would probably help with this problem, but players who play a different gender often fall into overacting or exagerrating their gender role simply so that people will remember it.

 

[Set]

I picked none of the above. I neither encourage nor discourage players from playing characters of different races, sexes, species, etc. I neither 'love' nor 'hate' playing characters of one race, sex, species, etc. over the other.

Some characters 'feel' like females when I'm writing them up. Others 'feel' like males. Some 'feel' like Gnoll Druids. Others 'feel' like shapeshifting genderless alien superheroes.

My penis is unaffected by whether or not the character I'm playing has one.

In my 25ish years of RPGing, I've played mostly with men and women who play whatever character makes sense for the role or idea they have in mind, adults who have no problems telling their character from their self. I have also played with one or two people (men, always) who seem unable to make their character deviate too far from their own self-image (won't play women, won't play black or hispanic or gay characters, won't play a halfling or gnome, etc.), and I'm not going to 'encourage' them to play something different. They don't need to 'play outside of their comfort zone' because it isn't my job, as their friend, to make them uncomfortable.

 

[Celebrim]

I don't need to 'play outside of their comfort zone' because it isn't my job, as their friend, to make them uncomfortable.

Well said.

 

[Set]

Roleplaying a character doesn't have to be a freudian representation of what you desire yourself to be in your truest form, y'know. It can just be a fun exploration into something else. Something not you. In fact, I prefer to be things totally unlike myself, because I am myself all the damn time.

'Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.'

Great point!

 

[The Green Adam]

Never played a female character and while I would never think to ban such from my game, I'm not a fan of the practice. I simply prefer when men play men, women play women and little blue furry things from Antares IV play little blue furry things from Antares IV.

In truth, I've rarely experienced it much as my normal RPG group has at least as many women as men.

AD

 

[Rechan]

This point actually helps me a lot. I 'get' why someone would play a female character or evil character now. It's just a role, not an extension of themselves. Just a character with no real connection to it other than to play a game.

It's also a way to do things that are "Unsafe" or are otherwise uncomfortable, in a safe environment.

If I don't like confrontations, or if I have a lot of frustration, I might just want to work those frustrations out on some orcs. It's not me being violent, but it is living vicariously. I may personally be against killing (and could never see myself do it), but this character lets me do it in a manner that is "okay".

The same with playing a female character. Not to put motivations on those that play opposite gender, but they might just want to tool around with gender roles, or express their feminine side in a manner that's "okay" (well, obviously not, considerign some have a problem with it). They don't want to get a sex change, don't see themselves as the opposite gender, but the opportunity to pretend for a second is at least a manner of exploration.

The notion of exploration is the same as playing a tri-keen - an exercise in playing something with a totally alien mindset and mannerism, to see if you can weird out your friends.

But yes. For instance, the DM has little connection to his NPCs, I presume. So, it's the same notion of "Here is a character whose identity I am not emotionally invested in, I just want to jump in their head and cruise around for a while because their identiy/personality/whatever is fun and/or interesting."

 

[Rechan]

A thought occurs to me:

I suspect some women cross-gender RPers might feel more comfortable doing manly things like killing and action in a more manly persona.

Or, they could just want to avoid PCs and NPCs hitting on their female characters.

 

[lutecius]

At least this time around we were spared the whole "I don't allow such characters because they're never played right" argument.

I generally don't play characters of the opposite gender but i don't care one way or another when others do.

1- Romantic interactions between PCs are going to be awkward regardless of the player's gender so we generally avoid them.

2- We don't use much direct speech and the DM almost always uses third person so the character/player discrepancy is less jarring.
We occasionally make accents and falsettos when goofing around, though.

3- I don't care if a female character is somewhat stereotypical or unconvincing. I don't find the slutty sorceress any more disruptive than the roguish womanizer or boozing dwarf sociopath.

This point actually helps me a lot. I 'get' why someone would play a female character or evil character now. It's just a role, not an extension of themselves. Just a character with no real connection to it other than to play a game.

But then again, most actors find/bring some part of themselves to each role. How disturbing is that?

 

[mmu1]

I wouldn't disallow characters of gender opposite to that of the players but frankly, I'm not a huge fan.

Generally speaking, I'm just not big on going "outside the comfort zone" or people deciding they have to "stretch their acting chops" - the results usually aren't pretty (and have more in common with caricature than acting) and if that kind of thing is typical of a game, I find it's often a good indicator that there's going to be too much bad melodrama and not enough adventure for my tastes.

Also, while I've seen plenty of people creeped out by weird characters (in this case, universally male players running female PCs), I've not once seen PC gender make a difference by allowing someone to play a character that anyone at the table was blown away by.

In the final analysis, I'd be fine with it in the group I play in right now, but I don't think any of us would be able to come up with any good reasons to do it - so no one does.