Please help - cliches needed

[fusangite]

You should get ahold of the old Paranoia module from the 1980s called Orcbusters. It's a whole book of these cliches. The story is that the troubleshooters are inadvertently transported to an alternate reality via a "transdimensional collapsatron." There, they find themselves in a D&D dungeon.

The only part I remember was their fabulous Wandering Monster Waiting room. The room contained a table, around which were seated monsters of various species, one of each. I recall a bugbear, a kobold and a gelatinous cube I think from the original. They were playing poker. And once every 15 minutes, whoever got the low hand had to leave the room and wander around the nearby corridors, trying not to get killed by adventurers.

 

[ivocaliban]

That's classic! That is total classic comedy! I MUST use it! Cheers!

Glad to be of service! It's always nice when my wandering mind actually stumbles over something useful. I have to say I'm a bit surprised (or maybe concerned) that this happened to be it.

Keep us posted!

 

[STARP_President]

Any more?

 

[azmodean]

If you don't mind it being directly from a series of novels, the Myth series by Robert Asprin is built very similarly to what you describe. "devils" are actually deevils, but they aren't evil or anything, they're just incredibly good barganers. "Demons" are actually DEMinsiONal travellers, which have such a bad rep in general because they're just not locals. Trolls are typically large, brutish creatures, the male of the species, while the female of the species are called trollops and tend to be very curvaceous, and, er active creatures. It just keeps going, you should probably go buy some of them.

 

[Voadam]

Men wearing leather armor and wielding short swords. "No really, we're just warriors, not thieves, no reason to watch your belt pouches more carefully."

Multiple damsels in distress, each one an evil creature waiting to surprise the party (succubus, medusa, vampire, phasm, doppleganger, etc.)

Paladins who can't fight because they think violence is wrong.

Paladins who are zealously strict on obscure code issues and make life difficult.

Paladins who detect evil and slay on sight, even in the middle of a church service, king's court, random tavern, etc.

A bajillion ninjas attack as a random encounter. Just cuz.

The boat captain has a peg leg, a hook hand, or an eyepatch and always says "arr matey".

Have dungeon rooms stocked with creatures too big to fit inside the entrances or connecting corridors (big worm things, dragons, dire animals, giant vermin, etc.)

Monks who talk in bad dubbing.

Have lots of two weapon fighting good drow rangers who happen to wield scimitars.

 

[Virel]

Be sure to throw in a few senseless encounters like when they rent a room at the Inn and open the door to the room...

DM:"You see an orc. He is guarding a chest."

 

[Henry]

Other possible cliches or in-humor:

--Introduce a cabal of wizards named Gary, Monte, Sean, Zeb, et. al. who run a series of gladiatorial games. These "Game Wizards" have set up awards if you best the creatures and puzzles they pit you against.

--A Bar Fight is a requirement for Fighters, Rangers, and Barbarians to level up.

--Introduce an armory known as the "Complete Warrior" or the "Complete Adventurer." A magic shop in one town might be known as the "Completely Arcane" and a candy shop in yet another town is the "Completely Divine".

 

[edbonny]

I've always been of the mind that rotting, intelligent undead (like the lich and the mummy), should be terribly senile. Not only are they centuries old, but most of them don't even have brains any more. So, while they would have these grand schemes to conquer the world, they wouldn't even be able to remember where the door to the privy was located. They would constantly be losing things: Like the artifact the PCs have spent months questing after, the keys to the Lost Vaults of Vast Treasure Surplus, and even bits of themselves (think Vecna).

I also thought they might soak themselves in oils and rose petals to keep their (remaining) skin supple and to keep away the stench. Of course, the result would be that liches smell like your Aunt Fanny...

Furthermore, they would spend most of their time talking about what it was like in The Old Days: "Why when I was 203 we had to walk all the way up to level 3 to kill adventurers, then we had to carry them back down to level 17 just to dissect them!" Something along those lines...but much funnier.

This is absolutely hilarious... and brilliant... and a great, Great. GREAT gaming idea! Thank you! Thank you!!

- Ed

 

[STARP_President]

Monks who talk in bad dubbing.

LOL! That's awesome! I must use that one too! I'm itching to get started now!

 

[STARP_President]

Keep 'em comin', boys! (and girls, transgenders and other non-specific gender-role persons)