Please help - cliches needed

[Shuffle]

1. Elves on this world would be the most flamboyant, poncy, bisexual bimbos you've ever seen - a race of Liberace wannabes. They are decent enough warriors, although they have to stop fighting every ten minutes to check their reflection, and talented magicians, even if they do have more than a requisite number of spells devoted to hairstyling and dental hygeine. They're completely self-obsessed and superior, and also they are sexual deviants to the greatest degree - not just wearing another gender's underwear but more bizarre and disturbing than I care to go into here.

Isn't that what elves are anyways?

You could of course put a dragon's lair under "every" tavern. With the appropriate shady looking individual handing out the quest to slay it; by the well lit sign of course (how he remains shadey is up to you). Either take the amusement park cardboard dragon approach, or the absurd. There IS a dragon's lair under every tavern awaiting the appropriate level adventurers to kill it. Even have higher levels getting turned away, for being unsporting in attacking a weaker opponent....
Sadly that's the best I've got ..... unless its mature game and you want the orcs to be a society of "swingers".


edit -- spelling

 

[Sejs]

Pirates.

Ninjas.

Conflict.

 

[Stone Angel]

haflings always reek like cabbage.

Orcs or half orcs can do nothing but grunt and fight, or they can be the pinnacle of society and saviors of the mortal races.

The goblins procreate like rabits, and are revered and sought for their...errmmm...skills at love making.

Ogres are notorosly dumb and alway fall for the whats that trick, or hid and throw a rock at one in a group so he can blame his friend and let them anhillate themselves.


The Seraph of Earth and Stone

 

[STARP_President]

Don't stop now, cliche bringers!

 

[Dog Moon]

Originally posted by ivocaliban
they wouldn't even be able to remember where the door to the privy was located

But...Undead don't need to know where the privy is located...or are they supposed to be so senile that they don't realize they don't need to use it anymore?

 

[hero4hire]

All Tavern bartenders have Meaty Axes under the bar and are slightly overweight, aging ex-adventurers. In fact Bartender is a Prestige Class!

All adventuring parties have to initially meet in a Tavern (IT'S A RULE)

All adventurers can carry an ungodly amount of bulky of adventuring equipment (10 foot poles, hundreds of feet of rope, dozens of torches) without worrying about encumberance. Oh and they can find whatever they need in under 6 seconds!

All Knights/Paladins have to be shining, overbearing, pompous jerks who tell the rest of the party what to do, and try to Detect Evil in everyone they meet.

Clerics are only good for Healing and no one wants to be one.

Gnomes have REALLY big noses and generally tinker with stuff until it explodes.

All barbarians are musclebound and dumb and have big swords or axes and walk around shirtless despite the temperature.

Female fighter types are only allowed bikini versions of armor, yet somehow get the same ac benefit.

All rangers are woodsmen who were green and shoot arrows.

Local constables are always corrupt.

BBEGs never engage the heroes themselves but send incompetent minions instead.
If magick-using they will view the heroes in a crystal ball, yet still wont act personally until its too late!

BBEG's lairs always self destruct somehow after they die.

Shrunken old crazy hermits are actually wise old sages who probably wield great power.

Good always triumphs over evil.

 

[STARP_President]

Good always triumphs over evil.

I like that one better if I turn it on its head and say evil triumphs more regularly because it's well-prepared. It got so sick of losing it figured out how not to.

"Now you will learn that evil was always triumph, because good is dumb." - Dark Helmet, Spaceballs.

 

[Gez]

Gnomes have REALLY big noses and generally tinker with stuff until it explodes.

It could actually be quite useful. They must make a Craft (Tinkering) chack against a DC of 10+the object's hardness, and they make it explode. The explosion deals 1d6 damage per size category of the item (1d6 for Fine, 2d6 for Diminutive, 3d6 for Tiny, 4d6 for Small, 5d6 for Medium, 6d6 for Large, 7d6 for Huge, 8d6 for Gargantuan, and 9d6 for Colossal) in a radius that doubles with every two size categories (2.5 ft. for Fine & Dim, 5 for Tiny & Small, 10 for Medium & Large, 20 for Huge and Gargantuan, and 40-ft.-radius for Colossal).

A reflex save (DC 10+number of d6 of damage) halves the damage. Being in the center of the blast radius, the gnome gets a -2 circumstance penalty on his reflex save. But magically, he only suffers nonlethal damage and gets covered in soot from head to boots, like in a cartoon. (Except on a natural 1. Then he dies and vanishes, leaving behind him only smoking boots. Even if he wasn't wearing boots.)

Tinkering with stuff is a full-round action that provokes AoO.

 

[pdkoning]

* Dwarves don't like elves, and call them treehuggers
* Elves don't like dwarves becaus they don't like trees
* Dwarves only fight using axes
* Wizards of level 10+ are evil, because power corrupts
* When you travel the 'endless sea' you might come to some 'unkown, eternal realm'
* There are always merchants wandering around in dungeons in order to sell and buy from adventurers
* Monsters actually eat dead adventurers
* Monsters don't work, they just wander arround and wait their entire live to be killed by some adventurers
* Normal wolves are uncommon, Worgs/Wargs are more common
* Barbarian tribes always live in the north of the world and always look like vikings
* Every city has a number of secret cults and organisations, led by a spellcaster



The idea below is not a cliche per se but illustrates how players think everything they find is plot-related (this is a cliche), and the DM can have lots of fun.

* In a random city, in a random street have a dead beggar laying around with a note in his hand with the name of one of PCs written on it. -> It has nothing to do with any adventure / plot / quest and is coincidence, but you should not tell the players

 

[Numion]

* There is a ministry that regulates dungeonbuilding. Corridors must be either 5' or 10' feet wide, 80% of all turns must be in right angles and only 20% of the overall volume can be designated as 'natural caverns', where these restrictions do not apply. Stocking the dungeon must be in accordance to the overall EL of the dungeon - no surprises of a higher CR. Any BBEGs ruling over non-regulation dungeons must face fines.

* Twisted cliche: The Underdark is filled with goodly folk - they abhor the evil folks and practices of the 'Overlight'