Please help - cliches needed

[STARP_President]

Rofl!

 

[WmRAllen67]

Very Nodwick.

Heck, Nodwick itself is a great resource:

"Tomb Depot"
Paladins and Anti-Paladins are like matter and anti-matter-- they explode on contact.
Nothing bad, or even slightly embarrassing, happens to the good cleric.
Dragons kidnap princesses, only to find that they're whiny brats and not worth the trouble.

And, most importantly: FOUR people can defeat almost anything!

 

[Dark Jezter]

1. Elves on this world would be the most flamboyant, poncy, bisexual bimbos you've ever seen - a race of Liberace wannabes. They are decent enough warriors, although they have to stop fighting every ten minutes to check their reflection, and talented magicians, even if they do have more than a requisite number of spells devoted to hairstyling and dental hygeine. They're completely self-obsessed and superior, and also they are sexual deviants to the greatest degree - not just wearing another gender's underwear but more bizarre and disturbing than I care to go into here.

And these would be different from standard fantasy elves... how?

EDIT: Damn, Shuffle beat me to the punch!

 

[Heathen72]

I'll second the Toughpick's Guide to Fantasyland as a must buy classic written by a woman very well versed in the Genre. The Evil Overlord List is an also an oldie but a goodie, and documents the top 100 mistakes made by villains in movies and fantasy.

 

[Sejs]

*nod* the Evil Overlord list would be required reading just for badguy cliches.


And to go hand-in-hand with the Dungeon Regulatory Commision that Numion mentioned already, the men and women of...

Dungeon Maintennance and Repair!

DM&R are folks in orange workmans jumpsuits and caps, usually with toolboxes. They're the guys that go around and reset traps, make sure those monsters that all live in proximity to one another and never leave are all fed and happy, and any of the thousand of other jobs that are required to keep your standard nonsensical corridors-rooms-and-evil dungeons up and running. They are very fast, very efficient, and very good at what they do... and for some reason absolutly nothing will attack them when they are on-duty. As far as most adventurers are concerned, they're nearly a myth - adventurers don't normally see them, they only get to see their handiwork. Even if you did see one, it's like they exist under a shroud of social invisibility; encountering one in a dungeon hallway would elicit a curt nod, and both groups would continue on their way. They're such an integral presence that the mind doesn't even register that the encounter might be considdered odd until after they're already gone. Everybody and everything is friendly, or at the bare minimum, neutral to DM&R. Even unintelligent monsters will stand still and not bother a DM&R crew when they're on the job.

DM&R - it's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it.

 

[ThirdWizard]

Henchman, hirelings and cohorts always die in the most gruesome manner possible while the adventurers watch without much emotion about it.

And they wear red armor!

Every hole in the ground, temple entrance, or castle drawbridge has a dozen horse corpses nearby. Poor little horsies that got left behind when the adventurers went inside.

I am so using that at the next dungeon the PCs visit.

-Kobolds work for the beurocratic Red Dragons, and instead of traps, they use Red Tape to block others from getting to them.
-A doppelganger replaced a cruel ruler in order to make the town a better place to live.
-Every tavern has a dark figure in the back, hired by the owners to give ambiance to the place. When approached, he turns out to be a pimply faced teenager who only stutters short phrases, two children one on the others shoulders, a manequin, etc.
-All adventurers relatives must register as such at the local Evil Doers Guild. They have a requisite one kidnapping, one possession, and one cryptic message before the year is up.

 

[STARP_President]

*nod* the Evil Overlord list would be required reading just for badguy cliches.


And to go hand-in-hand with the Dungeon Regulatory Commision that Numion mentioned already, the men and women of...

Dungeon Maintennance and Repair!

DM&R are folks in orange workmans jumpsuits and caps, usually with toolboxes. They're the guys that go around and reset traps, make sure those monsters that all live in proximity to one another and never leave are all fed and happy, and any of the thousand of other jobs that are required to keep your standard nonsensical corridors-rooms-and-evil dungeons up and running. They are very fast, very efficient, and very good at what they do... and for some reason absolutly nothing will attack them when they are on-duty. As far as most adventurers are concerned, they're nearly a myth - adventurers don't normally see them, they only get to see their handiwork. Even if you did see one, it's like they exist under a shroud of social invisibility; encountering one in a dungeon hallway would elicit a curt nod, and both groups would continue on their way. They're such an integral presence that the mind doesn't even register that the encounter might be considdered odd until after they're already gone. Everybody and everything is friendly, or at the bare minimum, neutral to DM&R. Even unintelligent monsters will stand still and not bother a DM&R crew when they're on the job.

DM&R - it's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it.

I love it!

 

[WmRAllen67]

Dungeon Maintennance and Repair!

DM&R are folks in orange workmans jumpsuits and caps, usually with toolboxes. They're the guys that go around and reset traps, make sure those monsters that all live in proximity to one another and never leave are all fed and happy, and any of the thousand of other jobs that are required to keep your standard nonsensical corridors-rooms-and-evil dungeons up and running...

"The Cleaners! First the Bog of Unending Stench, and now the Cleaners!"

 

[STARP_President]

Well, someone has to clean up after those filthy adventurers. I mean, the blood alone...

 

[STARP_President]

More Cliches! More, more I say!