Please help, proofreaders needed.

[Xath]

I have 3 large papers due within one week of each other. Under normal circumstances, I would take them to the campus Writing Help Center to be proofread and to recieve comments. However, now I do not have time. Also, the writing help center never does a very good job.

I'm hoping that there are a few english-proficient ENWorlders out there who would be willing to help me proofread my papers throughout this week. I'm looking for grammatical help, as well as a general opinion as to whether or not my arguements are precise and tips on how to improve them.

I really appreciate the help!

Paper 1 - Complete and Turned In
Paper 2 - Complete and Turned In
Paper 3 - Due 12/9

 

[the Jester]

From pg. 6:

The Utilitarian view is a subjective theory of ethics which focuses on doing the most good for the most people as possible...

Remove the "as".

From pg. 2:

Ethical mires occur, especially when it becomes necessary to decide when the protecting of an individual must override that person’s autonomy.

Need the "of" in here.

I haven't gotten past pg. 6, but so far that's very good.

 

[Rel]

The next couple days are busy for me (putting down new floors in my living room) but I've got to rest sometime. If you don't have enough proofreaders for #3 already by the time I take a break this evening, I'll be happy to take a look at it. You might want to go ahead and post it.

 

[Xath]

Thank you very much Jester.

Rel, I'll post #3 as soon as it's written.

 

[Rel]

Thank you very much Jester.

Rel, I'll post #3 as soon as it's written.

Fair enough.

Jester, (or any others who jump in the fun) it might be best if you post your progress and whether you're reading further as you go to avoid duplication of effort.

 

[nakia]

Since the paper is due in a few hours, is it too late for suggestions other than minor edits?

I'll try to look over this paper today. (I don't even do this for my students, so you're lucky)

Here's a start:

Line 1: People have dilemmas. Laws and ethics don't. They can be contradictory, confusing, or problematic, but they don't have dilemmas.

 

[nakia]

I got to the end of page 6, but I really have some other stuff to take care of (like papers to grade) . Here's what I found. Do with them what thou wilt (and I admit I may have the whole "that" "which" thing backward).

Page 1, third line from bottom. Should be “government-funded”

Page 2 line 4, don’t capitalize “military”

Page 4, 7 lines from bottom: “which took place” should be “that took place” (“that” is used whenever the clause it separates is essential to the sentence)/

Page 4, 3 lines from bottom: remove “them”

Page five, line 6: change “current” to “present”

Page 5 line 7: change “their experimentation in the future” to “future experimentation”

Page 6 line 1: change “maintain” to “conform to”

Page 6 10 lines from bottom: change “which” to “that”

Page 6, 9 lines from bottom: remove “as possible”

Page 6, 3 lines from bottom: it sounds like experimental drugs are a stakeholder. Is that what you mean to say?

 

[reveal]

I'm looking over it now. I'm pretty picky when it comes to writing, so take my suggestions with a grain of salt.

Edit: I'm still looking, but one thing off the bat that I would suggest is to find synonyms for the word "experiment." You use it frequently, as well as "experimentation." It's especially apparent when you use it twice in the same sentence.

 

[reveal]

Here ya go. Like I said, take it with a grain of salt. I did it in Word, so turn on Track Changes to view the edits.

 

[Xath]

Thank you everyone. I turned in the paper, and I should have the results by next week.