I do swing a halberd in real life. The fact that I am doing it wrong has no bearing on my ability to do so.

That brings up a funny point. If D&D were real life, even with all the equipment D&D has ever offered were available, certain weapons and armours would quickly be found to be "the best" for adventuring, and all (or nearly all) adventurers would be wearing and wielding the same sorts of things.WotC just want us to know that pike is not an adventuring weapon.
You don't go around dungeons and scaling cliffs with a 15ft spear.
You do not.
18lb of weight is dumb also, but that is another topic about D&D and dumbarse weapon weights and shapes...
They are better about the weights in 5e than previous editions, I think. During the playtest I posted a long, overly researched article about it on the WotC boards and went on about it in my survey responses. In my brain I believe they followed some (but not all) of my suggestions.18lb of weight is dumb also, but that is another topic about D&D and dumbarse weapon weights and shapes...
I think the more fun question is why a staff (a roughly 5-6 feet stick) is on the list while a spear (a 5-6 feet stick with point) is ommitted from the list.
WotC just want us to know that pike is not an adventuring weapon.
You don't go around dungeons and scaling cliffs with a 15ft spear.
You do not.
18lb of weight is dumb also, but that is another topic about D&D and dumbarse weapon weights and shapes...
I totally hear your tongue-in-cheek approach here, but doesn't the Pike actually make the MOST sense to use in a dungeon corridor (as far as polearms are concerned) as a thrusting weapon? The glaive, halberd, and quarterstaff all seem less effective in tight quarters...
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Yes and no.
Pike is very long. 15+ feet. so if you miss with it it is hard to "shorten" it like a spear and fight at shorter distances.
If you can stuff 3 pikemen in 5 ft corridor that is almost impassable for melee monsters, but maneuverability is an issue. you cannot rotate it in a narrow corridor to strike with back end.