PCS WHO DIEDAleena, NOOOOO!
There’s got to be a thousand ways to die an ignominious death in D&D ...
- Strength drained by Shadows (”low-level“ monsters hit only by magic!)
- Pecked to stone by scary magic roosters (cockatrice)
- Putting your ear to a door to listen what’s beyond (ear seekers)
- Opening a chest (mimics!)
- Forgetting to use your mirror around corners (basilisks)
- Helping imprisoned maidens (Medusa’s)
- Find the source of singing in the dungeon (Harpies)
- Not noticing the algae growing on the ceiling (green slime)
- Poking the dead body (Russet mold)
- Looting the dead body (rot grubs)
- Looking at the dead body (bodak)
- Not noticing the squirming dead body (spawn of Kyuss)
- Thinking those were just bats (strirges)
- And most of all, stepping in the dungeon (trapper above, lurker below, piercers and pit traps)
(Jim Carroll "People Who Died")
Teddy getting drunk in a dungeon crawl
Fell in a pit full of Green Slime
Cathy was out scouting when she pulled the plug
Found 26 orcs raging out of their minds
Bobby got lycanthropy, bit by a rat
He took a silver bolt when he died
They were PCs of mine
Those are PCs who died, died
Those are PCs who died, died
Those are PCs who died, died
Those are PCs who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died
G-berg and Georgie went to harlots so rotten
They died of diseases that left them blood sodden
Sly in Darkenwood took an arrow in the head
Bobby mixed his potions on the night that he was wed
They were two PCs of mine
Two more friends that died
Those are PCs who died, died
Those are PCs who died, died
Those are PCs who died, died
Those are PCs who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died
Mary took a dry dive from a castle wall
Bobby was ambushed by a wight in the tombs
Judy jumped in front of a Floating Brain
Eddie got et jumpin' past a cave fisher
And Eddie, I miss you more than all the others
And I salute you brother
Those are PCs who died, died
Those are PCs who died, died
Those are PCs who died, died
Those are PCs who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died
Herbie blew Tony from the starship lock
Tony thought his rage was just some crock
But Herbie sure gave Tony a real big shock
"Hey," Herbie said, "Tony, can you fly?"
But Tony couldn't fly, Tony died
Those are PCs who died, died
Those are PCs who died, died
Those are PCs who died, died
Those are PCs who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died
Brian got busted on a smuggling rap
He beat the rap by rattin' out assassins
He said, "Hey, I know it's dangerous, but is sure beats prison."
But the next day he got offed by the same assassins
Those are PCs who died, died
Those are PCs who died, died
Those are PCs who died, died
Those are PCs who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died
(Yes, I changed Eddie’s gender for the filk- not really room to explain how “Eddie” was a girl.)
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