I don't see how you're reading that into what I wrote. If someone is abusing the rules so badly the DM has to come to the rest of us and and ask our permission, I don't like it, no matter how much I like them.
So there's really two things that I think we differ on that are present in your reply above.
1. I'm not reading in to what you wrote. I'm giving you some feedback.
2. I simply don't see how rules can be abused if you have an experienced DM.
On point one: What I'm getting at is that most people form an opinion about someone based on the first 30 seconds to 20 minutes of interactions. People will like or dislike someone well before anyone will know their inherent feelings towards powergaming or munchkinism, so if you really have a problem with someone it's not the game, it's the person's attitude.
If someone you like was breaking the rules and it was actively benefiting your gaming experience and he or she was really cool, you probably wouldn't care. That's my experience as a DM and as a player.
2. As a DM I have seen every manner of badly twinked character archetype that I'd care to. Around 2002 I decided to say "f it" and allow whatever people wanted. Most went with core book stuff. Some went with slightly optimized stuff.. and then there ware the Trumpet Archons.
The result of that campaign was that the Trumpet Archons helped the party but were attracting a lot of attention to it. The normals did well for themselves, the optimized did as well and the Archons did their thing when they had to, but it was my job to make sure everyone had their chance to look cool and impress each other.
The bottom line is that if the DM is prepared enough and knows his or her players the game can't be broken. The DM has more power than the rule books and if the players can trust the DM to keep things balanced and fair, then there's no problem.
Last note: One thing I think we agree on though, If I need to ask a player to leave, that's my job as a DM and the rest of the group shouldn't have to be subject to it. I will though, make absolutely sure that my decision is supported by the other members of the group before walking that road.