As far as your players keeping track of their equipment, hit points, etc., I once had that problem.
I solved the equipment problem by using index cards. Whenever the PCs picked up an item, I handed them a blank index card and had them write down the item on it.
As far as writing down hit points, I started asking for hit point updates at the end of a combat round. If the player didn't know how many hit points they had, then they had 0.
Giving out xp for remembering NPC names and plot points is definately the way to go. The only thing I have to add is give the PC the experience immediately after they are able to recall something. This way the player recieves immediate reward and the other players see it as well.