Questions for a story (non-RPG, sorry!)

[rbingham2000]

Hmmm, I see we've got a new forum (for at least a couple weeks anyway!).

Right now, I've got a story on my mind, involving an ordinary woman who receives a mysterious package from a shady mail carrier who works for the mob. After finding out what's in the package (a gun and a photograph), she tries to find out who the hell sent it to her, only to learn that the package that the guy sent her was meant for a professional assassin. Confusingly enough, this assassin has her exact same description, and even shares her first name of Jessica -- pretty much a recipe for mistaken-identity disaster right there.

I've already got a fair idea as to how the package gets to Jessica White (the ordinary woman) instead of Jessica Stone (the assassin) -- an associate for a powerful mob boss gives the package and a photo of the assassin to the carrier, but only uses the assassin's first name because he doesn't know that there's another Jessica with the same description elsewhere in the city. The carrier meets Jessica White while she's coming home from work and mistakes her for Jessica Stone, and so he gives her the package instead.

And now I've got a few questions. I'm thinking about doing this as an action thriller, so I'm planning to have a number of shootouts during the story (especially when Jessica Stone gets involved) as well as at least one chase. I'm planning to have the cops after Jessica White (after she goes to them for help and they mistake her for Jessica Stone), and I'm planning a head-to-head confrontation between the two Jessicas somewhere between the middle and the end of the story. So...

1. How do I get the mob involved in Jessica White's troubles? Maybe a rival mob that lost a prominent member to one of Jessica Stone's bullets puts out a contract for the assassin. Their hitters see Jessica White and they think she's the assassin...
   
2. What would be a good plot for Jessica Stone (the assassin) to pursue, and how can her life be made more interesting because of Jessica White's situation?
   
3. How do I get the two Jessicas good and fighting mad at each other? Jessica White probably has good reason to be pissed at Jessica Stone; she's being mistaken for the assassin, after all! But how to give Jessica Stone a good mad-on for Jessica White, I wonder?
   
4. Any other good plot-twists that can be thrown in to make both women's lives more interesting?
   
5. How in the hell do I make sure that the audience can tell the two women apart, even if most of the people in the story can't seem to? This is important because I want to firmly establish from the beginning that Jessica White is not Jessica Stone, and is not using an alias as the cops believe she is. Internal thoughts and internal dialogue are probably not an option because people can't exactly see that kind of thing; I want to convey this visually and through normal dialogue, because I'm thinking about using this story for a visual narrative such as a comic book or a movie.

 

[Tallok]

well, jessica stone might be pretty pissed if the mob boss gets angry with her when she doesn't do her work, because she doesn't have the gun or photo. Then, upon finding that someone else had it, she would want ot eliminate this person (Jessica WHIte)

 

[Maldur]

If this were a movie, id start the intro with Jessica white sitting at the hairdressers for a colour change, to explain why this has not happened before.

 

[rbingham2000]

well, Jessica Stone might be pretty pissed if the mob boss gets angry with her when she doesn't do her work, because she doesn't have the gun or photo. Then, upon finding that someone else had it, she would want to eliminate this person (Jessica White)

I was thinking much along the same lines.

Jessica Stone, upon learning that she was supposed to receive a package from the shady mail carrier, might pay the guy a visit with a loaded 9mm, demanding to know why the hell she didn't receive the package.

Of course, the poor bastard thinks that he gave the package to her, and after a very tense bit of interrogation, he reveals that he gave the package to "her" on (street where he met Jessica White). Jessica Stone, of course, wasn't on that street that day.

She quickly puts two and two together and figures out that the carrier gave the package to the wrong woman. Needless to say, she gets very, very pissed at the carrier, probably deciding to blow him away for being so stupid.

After that, Jessica Stone will definitely start looking for the other Jessica to try to get the package from her. She might run into the hitters from the rival mob along the way, fresh from their failed attempt to kill who they thought was her. They decide to try to take out their bad day on her, which proves to be a serious mistake...

If this were a movie, I'd start the intro with Jessica White sitting at the hairdresser's for a colour change, to explain why this has not happened before.

Very nice! Maybe I can put this scene in after the introductory scene where Jessica Stone executes a hit (a good action flick has to start with a kickass action scene, after all!). Maybe put in a good subplot or something so that the hairdresser scene isn't totally boring...

edit: I've recently rethought the thing with the cops after Jessica White. First of all, Jessica White's Social Security number. Being in a legit line of work, she has no reason to have a phony SSN. Jessica Stone, on the other hand, will probably have a phony SSN -- she's a racketeer, after all, and she doesn't want any red tape leading back to her.

Second, the driver's license with the different hair color would prompt the cops to pay a visit to the hairdresser, who would be glad to verify Jessica White's story. So after the cops get it straight that Jessica White isn't Jessica Stone, it would mainly be the mob guys -- and Jessica Stone -- after her.