Quitting a Game...

[sev]

Twice in recent memory, I had to drop a game I was DMing. Most recently, three years ago, I'd misjudged how long it would take to run the particular adventure I'd started, and we stopped because I was hugely pregnant and we expected the baby to show up any day. (as it turned out, the baby was two weeks late, and we might have been able to finish. Maybe.) Before that, ten years ago, I was completely overwhelmed with work and didn't have any time to prep so GMing wasn't fun anymore, it was just an exercise in how much smarter my players are than I am, when they're getting enough sleep and I'm not. They were all very understanding about it.

I'm better at inserting "good stopping points" now, I think, so when I start to get overwhelmed I can just hand things off to somebody else for a little while.

I don't have this problem when I'm a player, because my group only meets for two- or three-hour games, which don't take a lot out of me.

 

[caudor]

Don't worry too much. Even the greatest heroes occasionally have to put the sword on the mantle to tend to other business at hand.

One day, you'll again reach for your sword and jump back into the action.

OK, sorry, that was cheesy But anyway, keep your chin up.

 

[Ruined]

Yeah. Had a falling out with one of my best friends for the past 13 years recently. So it meant dropping out of his excellent L5R campaign (two sessions from the end!!), and putting my 4e campaign on indefinite hiatus. It's a real bummer, but life happens.

I did the rebound deal though, and just started a new 4e game with the wife and friends tonight. It's promising, and took the sting out of the previous loss.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Its just a fact of life that this will happen from time to time.

I've had to watch players move away, leave the game for legal, social or religious reasons (don't ask), or have insolvable scheduling conflicts.

And as a player, I've had to do some moving myself. I was an army brat, so I moved every 3 years or so for the first half of my life. Then came college, law school and other reasons to move.

 

[the Jester]

Only when I (or the dm, if it wasn't me) moved.

 

[MoxieFu]

But what if it's permanant?

I rolled up my first character in 1980, I have been playing since 1981. Coincidentally in 1980 I injured my back for the first time. Disc slipped, nerve pinched. Several chiropractic treatments and few weeks later I was as good as new. Then it happened again 8 years later, then about 4 years later, then two, then the next year, and so on.

At the time I didn't see the pattern. Finally in 1994 it happened again the day before New Years Eve. But this time it didn't go away. Cortisone injections, physical therapy, medications, chiropractics, and assorted quackery later. Still I didn't snap back.

By this point the doctors decided it was degenerative bone and joint disease and surgery is not an option. A disc bypass fusion would only cause the next disc up to pop, then the next, etc. My only option was pain management in all its forms. I did the exercises and treatments and was able to continue working for 11 years. I kept gaming for 13 up until about two years ago. At first I had to quit DMing, then after another year and a half I had to give up going to the games altogether. I just couldn't enjoy sitting through them and I was affecting other people's enjoyment of the game too much so I had to give up.

My friends keep gaming once a month and are great at keeping me in the virtual loop but it's not just the same.

Sorry to unload so much negativity but I just didn't feel like bearing this alone. I sure hope it doesn't happen to anyone else but I guess these things do. ENWorld has gotten to be my main connection to the game mostly just lurking here and I do really appreciate having it around. I have been coming around since a few months after the 3E Player's Handbook was released and I have loved every minute of it.

I wonder a lot what it will be like to get back into gaming on the other side. Maybe I'll even get in a pickup game with Gary? It'd be nice to get to finally experience Castle Greyhawk first hand and not have any copyright holdings get in the way. It's nice to dream anyway.

 

[Piratecat]

MoxieFu, I wonder - would you be able to continue gaming with your group via webcam and Skype? One of my friends lives in China and still plays with his Massachusetts group every two weeks. He says it actually works quite well. If you really miss gaming, I have to think that your group misses you, and there's no reason to give up stuff you love if you can find a workaround.

Back to the original post, I had to give up one group I loved when another player turned out to be a disruptive, campaign-wrecking force of chaos and the GM couldn't (or wouldn't) kick him out. Going to games ended up making me stressed instead of happy. I dropped the game until matters were otherwise resolved.

 

[JoeGKushner]

All the time.

Moving, change of work schedule, etc... can all make it so that it's difficult to game.

The group changing games to a system I'm not interested in. etc...

 

[MoxieFu]

MoxieFu, I wonder - would you be able to continue gaming with your group via webcam and Skype? One of my friends lives in China and still plays with his Massachusetts group every two weeks. He says it actually works quite well. If you really miss gaming, I have to think that your group misses you, and there's no reason to give up stuff you love if you can find a workaround.

Back to the original post, I had to give up one group I loved when another player turned out to be a disruptive, campaign-wrecking force of chaos and the GM couldn't (or wouldn't) kick him out. Going to games ended up making me stressed instead of happy. I dropped the game until matters were otherwise resolved.

Right now I'm on dial-up snailnet, connecting usually at 26.4k. I am moving closer to my sister in another town sometime in the near future. Then I should be able to get broadband and have more options like Skype.

 

[Piratecat]

Right now I'm on dial-up snailnet, connecting usually at 26.4k. I am moving closer to my sister in another town sometime in the near future. Then I should be able to get broadband and have more options like Skype.

Nice. I know some smartphones can handle skype as well over 3G, but that may not be an option for you.

In the mean time check out the Play by Post forums if you haven't already. It's not the same, but it's definitely fun.

Back to the original question, I've had a couple people quit my game over the years. Most moved to the west coast. Wulf Ratbane ran afoul of something I couldn't help with: Boston traffic. Trying to commute 1 - 1.5 hours from Providence to Boston during rush hour, just to game, ended up being a bad idea!