Snarf Zagyg
Notorious Liquefactionist
In order to move away from contentious discussions about players and/or player haters, I thought I'd fork the best conversation I'd seen recently into its own thread. Admittedly, there is some danger in using the word "fork" anywhere in proximity to the word "pizza" but I am willing to take that chance!
On the other thread regarding the appeal of "exotic" races (ancestries, lineages, folks, etc.), a conversation broke out about what types of pizza various races might be, and/or how terrible Chicago-style deep dish pizza might be (ahem). So I thought I'd offer my pizza-based analysis of the core races from the PHB and then throw it out to see what ideas other people had!
Dragonborn
I cannot improve on @doctorbadwolf - the dragonborn are the Hawaiian pizza of D&D. Relatively new, distinctive, beloved by some and viewed as "not pizza" by others.
Dwarf
Mushroom pizza. Definitely mushroom pizza. An old favorite that is not quite as popular as it was.
Gnome
The gnome is your BBQ Chicken Pizza- it's good, and all, and it's been around for a long time, but it always seems like there are better pizzas.
Half-Elf
This is the pepperoni pizza. Sure, it's super popular, but also a little greasy.
Halfling
Definitely a meat-lovers. There's always someone who wants a meat-lovers pizza, and someone who wants to play a halfling.
Half-Orc
The Half-orc is your standard anchovy pizza; it used to be really popular, isn't that popular anymore, and it's kind of uncomfortable.
Human
Cheese. If you go variant, you get a margherita.
Tiefling
This is your buffalo chicken pizza. A little spicy, a little new, sometimes disappointing.
Bonus- Elves are calzones. They aren't even pizza, no one really wants one, and yet there are so many of them.
On the other thread regarding the appeal of "exotic" races (ancestries, lineages, folks, etc.), a conversation broke out about what types of pizza various races might be, and/or how terrible Chicago-style deep dish pizza might be (ahem). So I thought I'd offer my pizza-based analysis of the core races from the PHB and then throw it out to see what ideas other people had!
Dragonborn
I cannot improve on @doctorbadwolf - the dragonborn are the Hawaiian pizza of D&D. Relatively new, distinctive, beloved by some and viewed as "not pizza" by others.
Dwarf
Mushroom pizza. Definitely mushroom pizza. An old favorite that is not quite as popular as it was.
Gnome
The gnome is your BBQ Chicken Pizza- it's good, and all, and it's been around for a long time, but it always seems like there are better pizzas.
Half-Elf
This is the pepperoni pizza. Sure, it's super popular, but also a little greasy.
Halfling
Definitely a meat-lovers. There's always someone who wants a meat-lovers pizza, and someone who wants to play a halfling.
Half-Orc
The Half-orc is your standard anchovy pizza; it used to be really popular, isn't that popular anymore, and it's kind of uncomfortable.
Human
Cheese. If you go variant, you get a margherita.
Tiefling
This is your buffalo chicken pizza. A little spicy, a little new, sometimes disappointing.
Bonus- Elves are calzones. They aren't even pizza, no one really wants one, and yet there are so many of them.
