D&D 5E /Ragequit Rants

[innerdude]

1. Not nearly enough donkeyhorse sub-races. Come on, where's my Donkeyhorse-headed Donkeyhorse????!!!!!!
2. The color green is present in the rules text. As we all know, green is Cthulhu's favorite color, and Shub-Niggurath won't stand for it.
3. The makers of 5e obviously HATE paladins, because they didn't include a minimum of 100 detailed pages telling DM's how to successfully incorporate a paladin's code of ethics into gameplay without being heavy-handed, fiat-driven jerks. What are paladin players to do, wondering when their DM is simply going to pull something out of their butt and say, "Your paladin wouldn't do that!" without appropriate guidance?
4. The font for the ampersand in "Dungeons & Dragons" is clearly inferior to the one used for the BECMI Red Box.
5. Not enough cowbell. Or church bell. Or Liberty bell.
6. They didn't hire Zoey Deschanel and Olivia Wilde to be the models for all female characters in the artwork. EPIC FAIL!!!!!

/ragequit

 

[TarionzCousin]

You get Str bonus on thrown things. But what about if you throw a chicken?

To answer this, we need to know if a chicken is a "thing."

 

[RedShirtNo5.1]

To answer this, we need to know if a chicken is a "thing."

Eggsactly! THank you fir seeing mmy point! Chicken is not in MM so is not monstr. Is alive so is not obbject. Is not PC. Chicken muost be DMPC! But everyone knowses DMPC is bad. Is badl like Sword of Tooth evil chicken. Chicken is not object, but if you throw chicken, I must use objectivism! Rules paradox!

What i am sayng is this. It is just the rice-o-roni fallacy. I am not opaying Merls for incomplete rules with chicken paradox.

 

[Ichneumon]

It fails in every aspect that is possible, and fails in som not possible. It is more of a bored game than a boar game. I can't even grill cheese sanwitch,!

Boned accurcy means you never get better at anything. THere is no way of avoiding it. I mean not matt er what you are, you have ability scones!

It is way over simpflied, and two complexicated at the same tim. IT is harder to hit a mmman with a plate, even an appetizer plate. But swords and bettel axis do the same damage. It is supposed to be theater ofn th mend, but dorfs and hoobits mvoe slow, so you jhave to trak it.

Classes, are jokes. really. From how any class and subway can get an bakcground. If you train as soldier, you dont get to be wizzend. In the end it boils down to this.

levle sysem do not work. They may work on pdf, but a level 12 fishhead or even mag doesn't ned to fear having a trident gum at them. Also, with the way hp work, if you you do't have any, you are dead.

The flaw of rolling a d05 is that the best fighter in the world, taking up his most magical sword, misses 20% of the time.ALso fighers are good with all the weapons they use. You get Str bonus on thrown things. But what about if you throw a chicken?

In the end, d05 is too many rules, and not enough rulers at the same time. Need rulers to measure system mastery aka pens size! I am ranting here,and know this doesn't make sense to many people. But I would lke one a reason e5 is a good system.

"The Man Who Mistook 5e For A Hat."

Hmm, I dunno. Clint Eastwood looked pretty darn wizzend in any war movie he was in.

 

[SkidAce]

5e: All sauce, not enough meat, on a pasta base that's been around since 2nd Edition.

/raguquit

I see what you did.

 

[Kobold Stew]

5e: All sauce, not enough meat, on a pasta base that's been around since 2nd Edition.

/raguquit

Yeah, that's a design strategy to get you to buy more saucebooks.

 

[Wolfskin]

More monsters on the 5e MM? Seriously, Wizards? As if the game wasn't dense enough without extra free content!

/ragequit

 

[ExploderWizard]

Eggsactly! THank you fir seeing mmy point! Chicken is not in MM so is not monstr. Is alive so is not obbject. Is not PC. Chicken muost be DMPC! But everyone knowses DMPC is bad. Is badl like Sword of Tooth evil chicken. Chicken is not object, but if you throw chicken, I must use objectivism! Rules paradox!

What i am sayng is this. It is just the rice-o-roni fallacy. I am not opaying Merls for incomplete rules with chicken paradox.

i THink you are geting to upset over a MM that is no release yet. chicken could be in MM we dont know. for the now rules wise it is shroders chicken.
the chicken is not a DMPC a monstr or unanimated objec. we wont know abot all the macaroni falacies until the coar books are out so stop over-recting to
chicken problem.

 

[fba827]

We were told a certain page count for the MM but now wotc has just gone against that listing and changed the count.
I was told something and expect that which I was told! Not these false promises!

/rage quit

 

[Ichneumon]

Congratulations, WotC! Your decision to expand the Monster Manual by 32 pages has made me reconsider walking away in a blind spittle-flecked fury.

However, you must use these 32 pages to include the list of 32 monsters below, exactly, with no variations. I'm a tolerant dude, but even I have my limits.

MONSTERS FOR THE 32 EXTRA PAGES
Adherer
Al-mi’raj
Baku
Blindheim
Bookworm
Brain Mole
Duckbunny
Ear Seeker
Executioner’s Hood
Giant Beaver
Giant Space Hamster
Giff
Half-Flumph
Hollyphant
Ixitxachitl
Nilbog
Ocularon
Palimpsest
Raggamoffyn
Roving Maukler
Senmurv
Spider-Horse
Stench Kow
Stunjelly
Tooth Beast
Tumbling Mound
Vaporighu
Vegepygmy
Wolf-In-Sheep’s-Clothing
Wolfwere
Xvart
Zaratan

I expect to see those monsters and no others in the 32 extra pages when I pick up my Monster Manual in September. That's my terms, WotC. Don't make me /ragequit again.