(RANT) (longish) A player wishes to drop

[Stormprince]

I know that there are still players out there who haven't completely adapted to 3rd Edition. Some in my gaming group haven't completely made the "transition" yet

But, one of my friends, who does have a good grasp of the rules, still has a great way of keeping track of specific rules for her character: she keeps a cheat sheet. As an add-on to her character sheet, she's written short explanations of what feats she posseses, what her innate abilities are, and constantly updates it when she asks a "can I...?" question. More and more, she's referring to it less and less...if nothing else, it's sort of like being in school, where with repitition and the "writing down" helps to set it to memory.

Heck, I write for 3rd Edition rules, both d20 and D&D, and particularly now with the switch of a few rules between 3.0 and 3.5...I'm starting to keep a cheat sheet!

Christopher

 

[Zogg]

Too. Much. Drama.

Let her go. Gaming is supposed to be fun - not a soap opera. I would guess that she is a nomadic group-hopper - she only stays long enough to irritate everyone then moves on, playing the 'victim' in the process.

[matrix speak]
Stick with your formula - this girl is an anomoly.
[/matrix speak]

 

[Abel Kane]

God ^&*!
If I ever met a DM like this that was any good, I'd never leave their gaming table.

Trust me, you wouldn't have to shoo me away from being an 'agreeable player to the point of not helping' : I believe that the game is a group effort, and the DM NEEDS feedback - constructive criticism and positive reinforcement on the stuff that did work - to make a memorable game.

At the risk of hijacking the thread (sorry 'bout that!), it is a two-edged sword. Our group had what I consider an awesome DM. But if you have whiney players who believe that the game is not so much collaborative fiction between a DM and group of players but is there for their enjoyment and ONLY their enjoyment, an assessment at the end of every game session can be (and was) counter-productive.

I think the lesson to go away with is that some sort of periodic opportunity for players to have input and give feedback is valuable.

 

[Mark]

When I asked why she told me that she was tired of being patronized by the group and how nobody respected her abilities as a gamer.

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People don’t respect her as an accomplished gamer, because she truly isn’t by the groups definition.

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But at my table she’s the poor man’s gamer. The reason is because she loves to role-play, but doesn’t know the rules of a given system to save her live.

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Part of this is my fault, because I been just as guilty of this behavior as the rest of the players. But a part of this is also her own. She’s constantly telling everybody in the gaming group that are “newbies” the way things work.

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I’ve also been accused of favoring two players in the group as well. To be fair one is my wife, the other is my brother.

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...evidently my wife’s patronizing, both in and out of game, is to much for this person)

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Thanks for listening and any advice would be appreciated.

Start a fresh campaign, perhaps using a different rules set, and have someone who is not part of the family GM the whole thing.

 

[Ashrum the Black]

Wow, step away to work on a couple of computers and I come back to lots of wonderful advice.
Thank you all.
I’ll try to address some of the comments here.

KitanaVorr
The "not knowing the rules" though is something that you shouldn't penalize her for. Personally I find it distracting to always have to break away from roleplaying and consulting the rule book. I don't have it memorized unless I use a rule often enough to commit it to memory.

Which I totally agree with. But every week having to help the fighter figure out what her attack role is can get pretty old.

Hand of Evil
I would be worried that this could be the break up of a group, I have seen it happen.

Which is exactly what I’m worried about. I’m scared to death that this is going to signal a death knell for the group. I’m already hearing that the paladins player wants nothing to do with this, and is very opposed to having her just show up and talk about her problem. His feelings are that if she wants to go, then go and let the rest of us have fun.

My first thought was to have he show up and talk things out and see if we can salvage this. The implied slight, whether meant or not hurt though and made me reconsider this option. I haven't told her this yet though as I'd like to get my players take on things before I go any further. In addition her attacks against my wife were not limited to only “in game” comments concerning her character. She specifically asked me to tell her not to call because when ever she does she’s “patronizing”.

Oh in answer to the house rule on starting a new character it was put there to keep folks from hopping from PC to PC. I was trying for a very character driven campaign and have been working in bits of peoples histoires as we worked into the campaign. Her characters history set her as a minor noble and I had an entire arc worked out to run around this when she pulled her surprise disappearance. "The Gaming Opurrtunity of a Life Time" was an epic campiagn I later found out.

Oh and I belive somebody metioned the level of the campaign and it started as a third level campiagn and ov er the last 2 years has progressed to its current level.

BTW, Pirate Cat, the questionare you run, is it just a tell me what you think and write it down deal. Or do you actually have some specific questions you ask?

I guess I’m just trying to get some perspective on this as I was taken a bit by surprise by the whole situation.

My beloved game is turning into a larger source of stress than real life.

Not good.

Thank you all again for listening.

Edited for REALLY bad grammer. Hope I got it all considering English IS my first language.

 

[Mark]

I guess I’m just trying to get some perspective on this as I was taken a bit by surprise by the whole situation.

My beloved game is turning into a larger source of stress than real life.

Hence my advice. Playing a different game for a while helps everyone get back to the experience of being new to a game, and all on an equal footing...hopefully everyone can then regain respect for one another as people/players and stop tossing around the finger-pointing-newbie names. Having someone else run things for a bit allows you to set some standards as a player by example and lets someone else be in charge, hopefully learning how difficult it may be to balance game time for each member of the group and giving you a break on the accusation of nepotism. It doesn't have to be forever, maybe just a few sessions, but it should help everyone gain a fresh perspective and maybe you won't wind up losing a friend.

 

[LightPhoenix]

In addition her attacks against my wife were not limited to only “in game” comments concerning her character. She specifically asked me to tell her not to call because when ever she does she’s “patronizing”.

All gaming aside, I think this is why you should let her go. If your wife doesn't like her, and doesn't want her calling the house, something is wrong.

 

[Ashrum the Black]

Hence my advice. Playing a different game for a while helps everyone get back to the experience of being new to a game, and all on an equal footing...hopefully everyone can then regain respect for one another as people/players and stop tossing around the finger-pointing-newbie names. Having someone else run things for a bit allows you to set some standards as a player by example and lets someone else be in charge, hopefully learning how difficult it may be to balance game time for each member of the group and giving you a break on the accusation of nepotism. It doesn't have to be forever, maybe just a few sessions, but it should help everyone gain a fresh perspective and maybe you won't wind up losing a friend.

Thanks, for the advice. As long as I can talk somebody else into DMing I'm seriously going to try this. One of the folks has been leading us around with talk of Shadow Run for over a year. It may be time for him to put his money where his mouth is so to speak. If he's willing I'll ask him to run a one shot over a few seesions.

I honestly believe that the young lady that started this whole thread is going to be gone one way or the other. I just don't want to see her self distruct friendships on her way out. We'll see where this all leads after I talk to the rest of the group during he week.

And again, thank you all for your adviced and comments. I appreciate them all more than you can know.

 

[Mercule]

Actually, she doesn't sound nasty to me at all. It does sound as if your gaming styles clash, though. I agree; let her go, and don't obsess over it. I only wish she could have done this without implying an insult.

Fair enough. I'll freely acknowledge that my view of the situation is probably tinted by the fact that the description reminds of someone I know.

 

[Mercule]

An interesting perspective to this is my own experience. I was in Wizardru's games over a decade ago but was not able to play for years. when I came beck into the fold I looked like the newbie even though I was playing for more years then most of the group (going on 25 years gaming!) I still feel like the new guy in many ways. but when the players work together to make the game good it makes everyone's experiences good.

Likewise. I went to college with my current DM and I was the most frequent GM of two people (neither this guy) who GMed. I had become accustomed to being regarded as "the DM" (I also was usually the GM prior to college).

Fast forward three years after graduation. I move to the same town as this guy and he's running a D&D game, which he invites me to join. Talk about culture shock. Moving from the top of the GM pile to the bottom of the player pile hurts. A lot. But, it's cleansing to the soul. The good news is that after 15 years of gaming, I finally got to play a character for more than 3 sessions.