I . . . I don't understand certain people in the D&D community, and it's quite frustrating. We constantly fight over nothing, write thousands of words in huge posts about why someone else's style of play is badwrongfun, and whine about minor changes in the game as if they're the end of the hobby.
So, one path to understanding many of the behaviors that annoy you is this: remember that under the veneer of civilization, the community is basically a bunch of monkeys with cell phones. Lots of the toxic behaviors you see have their roots in basic tribal primate behaviors, which, alas, were optimized for smallish face-to-face groups, not for large communities with semi-anonymous telecommunications.
Yea, I know. But you wouldn't believe how often people get offended by someone expressing their opinion on an aspect of the game. (That has nothing to do with person A telling person B that their play style is wrong)
You also probably wouldn't believe how often people fail to recognize that they could have expressed the same opinion with slightly different words, and avoided the problem.
The moment you blame someone else is the moment when you maximize your own ability to screw up the situation.