Re-worded spells

[Hairy Minotaur]

Reverse body Cavity - wizards get rather more ineffectual healing spells for the power level than do clerics

This could work for court wizards looking for contraband.

 

[Kobold Marine]

Continual Blame

Can be dealt with by casting Blame Shift

 

[Jeysie]

Curse Walter: I'll get him some day!

Curse Walter: The Man in Black fled across the desert. The Gunslinger followed him.

I feel strangely better somehow knowing I'm not the only person who immediately thought of this response.

Peace & Luv, Liz

 

[Nifft]

Level 0 (cantrips):

Abjur

* Resist Ante: Subject gains +4 on saving throws against gambling.

Conj

* Acid Slash: Fan fiction deals 1d3 Wis damage.

Div

* Detect Poisson: Learn expected number of events within a given time frame.
* Detect Manic: Detects neuroses within 60 ft.
* Reap Magic: Harvest scrolls and spellbooks.

Ench

* Date: Humanoid creature of 4 HD or less loses next evening.

Evoc

* Dancing Tights: Creates leggings.
* Glare: Intimidates one creature (-1 on attack rolls).
* Aight: Target vocally agrees with your next statement.
* Ray of Front: Ray changes target's orientation.

Illus

* Host Sound: Figment maitre'd.

Necro

* Disrupt Unread: Deals 1d6 damage to one Barbarian.
* Torch of Fatigue: Target tires of unrequited love.

Trans

* Male Hand: 5-pound grope.
* Rending: Makes minor tears on an object.
* Massage: Neck rub at distance.
* Opine/Close: Begins or ends conversation.

Cheers, -- N

 

[Olgar Shiverstone]

Detect Poisson: finds things that behave using a specific distribution.

Neutralize Poisson: returns things to a normal distribution

 

[spunky_mutters]

Hair Walk - why did I spend money researching that?
Alter Shelf - For those times it's just not quite level.
Anti-plant Shelf - It's just for books.
Arcane Slight - Annoy wizards at will.
Marrow of Bone - Well duh.
Atone mint - When the mint is ready.
Attune farm - For druids on the go.
Blade Marrier - Some fighters just love their swords too much.
Body of Wax - Stay out of the sun.
Buzzing Beer - Do you see something in my beer? It sounds like there's something in my beer.

 

[spunky_mutters]

Critical trike - A 3-year old appears and rams a bike into the monster's shin.
Nurse of Pill Fortune - She has what I need.
Dead Mend - They're getting better.
Death Amor - Best not to picture it.
Deer Breath - Caster smells like foliage.
Detect Gold - Bound to be a hit. Unlike...
Detect Lawn
Devil Bright - Shine up that devil.

 

[spunky_mutters]

Dimensional Sock - A class ability of the Washerwoman class. Along with...
Diminish Pants
Disquiet Dude - It makes him uncomfortable.

 

[lukelightning]

Leomund's tiny gut: Ultimate weight-loss spell.
Magic circle against goop: Protection from oozes.

 

[spunky_mutters]

False Wife - They all said she was no good.
Easy Tail - The heartbroken wizard's next stop.
Fiendfirm - In only minutes a day!