R_J_K75
Legend
Your hard work and toil did not go unnoticed.
D&D 5E Rename the Monster Manual
Your hard work and toil did not go unnoticed.
Olrox17
Hero
Richter Belmont: Die, monster. You don't belong in this world!
Dracula: The "monster" epithet is outdated and oppressive. Creatures are called "monsters" because their appearance doesn't conform to arbitrary humanocentric standards of beauty, they are called "monsters" because their social and cultural values are deemed "primitive", they are called "monsters" because they don't belong to the same "camp" as you. These are outdated ideas which should simply not exist in this day and age.
Richter Belmont: Huh.
Dracula: The "monster" epithet is outdated and oppressive. Creatures are called "monsters" because their appearance doesn't conform to arbitrary humanocentric standards of beauty, they are called "monsters" because their social and cultural values are deemed "primitive", they are called "monsters" because they don't belong to the same "camp" as you. These are outdated ideas which should simply not exist in this day and age.
Richter Belmont: Huh.
Hmm, yeah, no. Monster Manual is fine. Monster is fine. Manual might be oppressive to people who can't read though, but since they'll never read it, who's to know.
Monsters are a reflection of the burgeoning of human imagination. The idea that parts of various beasts can be combined together is almost as old as civilization. The nature of monsters, as composites with no parallel in nature, has some specific indexes to the nature of human cognition. It is neither oppressive nor othering by its nature. It can be, just like pretty much anything else, but the issue is the use of a idea to other, not the idea itself. Anyone who's interested in some scholarship about where the idea of monsters comes from, check out The Origins of Monsters: Image and Cognition in the First Age of Mechanical Reproduction. It's a way more accessible book that it sounds like it is.
Monsters are a reflection of the burgeoning of human imagination. The idea that parts of various beasts can be combined together is almost as old as civilization. The nature of monsters, as composites with no parallel in nature, has some specific indexes to the nature of human cognition. It is neither oppressive nor othering by its nature. It can be, just like pretty much anything else, but the issue is the use of a idea to other, not the idea itself. Anyone who's interested in some scholarship about where the idea of monsters comes from, check out The Origins of Monsters: Image and Cognition in the First Age of Mechanical Reproduction. It's a way more accessible book that it sounds like it is.
WayOfTheFourElements
Hero
From Mordenkainen's Manual of the Maltreated and Morally Misunderstood
Of Blink Dogs and Displacer Beasts (The secret THEY don't want you to know about)
I, Mordenkainen the Awakened, have discovered the heinous secret that Breeders (TM) of blink dogs and displacer beasts have kept hidden for centuries. While blink dogs have been described (by previous and far less enlightened chroniclers) as "harboring a long-standing hatred for displacer beasts and attack them on sight," the truth is far more problematic.
In reality, Blink dogs and displacer beasts - these mortal enemies - share the same seed. When raised with proper equity, inclusivity, and trophies for all, these varied creatures evolve (at level 10, just before reaching the first gym leader) into blink dogs. But if treated cruelly, subject to competition or allowed outside the Breeder's protective bubble, they will evolve into horrifying displacer beasts.
If ever a murderboing capitalist meets a displacer beasts in the wild - for they often abandoned by their Breeders, out of contempt and aversion to the color black - know that this wretched and many-tentacled monstrosity is the result of biological oppression. It is more deserving of compassion than the sword. Any peaceful protesters speaking out against these lamentable critters prowling freely around the countryside - out of some misharbored belief for personal safety - deserves a tentacle through the eye.
Of Blink Dogs and Displacer Beasts (The secret THEY don't want you to know about)
I, Mordenkainen the Awakened, have discovered the heinous secret that Breeders (TM) of blink dogs and displacer beasts have kept hidden for centuries. While blink dogs have been described (by previous and far less enlightened chroniclers) as "harboring a long-standing hatred for displacer beasts and attack them on sight," the truth is far more problematic.
In reality, Blink dogs and displacer beasts - these mortal enemies - share the same seed. When raised with proper equity, inclusivity, and trophies for all, these varied creatures evolve (at level 10, just before reaching the first gym leader) into blink dogs. But if treated cruelly, subject to competition or allowed outside the Breeder's protective bubble, they will evolve into horrifying displacer beasts.
If ever a murderboing capitalist meets a displacer beasts in the wild - for they often abandoned by their Breeders, out of contempt and aversion to the color black - know that this wretched and many-tentacled monstrosity is the result of biological oppression. It is more deserving of compassion than the sword. Any peaceful protesters speaking out against these lamentable critters prowling freely around the countryside - out of some misharbored belief for personal safety - deserves a tentacle through the eye.
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jasper
Rotten DM
RICH PEOPLE. I had to drink Mad Dog 2020 when ma and pa were asleep.
The Dungeon Master title is probably offensive to the BDSM culture, who didn't ask to be appropriated by the dominant and overpowering geek culture.
6th edition will introduce the "elected narrator" with an half-session mandate and each player will have the ability to veto any decision because checks and balances are necessary.
Mordainkainen's Manual of the Mistreated and Morally Misunderstood: the Shrieker
Faerun has long abandonned the vile ways of eating animals, as they didn't ask to be slaughtered to satisfy the desires of the few. Nowadays, in 1579 DR, everybody knows that harming animal is awful. However, the poor Aboleth, being fungi, do not enjoy the same level of legal protection as sentient beings, animal and plants (thanks to the elves and druid lobby) currently enjoy. This sad state of lack of enlightenment has led to adventurers taking great care to remove them as they tend to produce an audible shriek that could warn the Misunderstood Persons they are seeking to rehabilitate by taking them out of their dungeon and providing them with decent lodging opportunities. The shrieker being very easy to assassinate in one shot, bloodthirsty adventurer often resort to lethal violence instead of attempting negociation, despite fungus being demonstrably able of some form of inter-fungus communication.
I hereby propose that the Council of Waterdeep adopt the following edicts:
1. Shrieker shall henceforth be referred as shriekpersons
2. The sound they emit is obviously one of extreme disconfort. A fine of 1,000 gp will be levied on any person causing such a shriek.
3. The aforementioned fine will be doubled in the event the disturbance takes place in a dungeon, a cave or a sewer, where the adventurers didn't ask for the rightful owner permission to enter beforehand. This fine will be on top on the one for trespassing.
6th edition will introduce the "elected narrator" with an half-session mandate and each player will have the ability to veto any decision because checks and balances are necessary.
Mordainkainen's Manual of the Mistreated and Morally Misunderstood: the Shrieker
Faerun has long abandonned the vile ways of eating animals, as they didn't ask to be slaughtered to satisfy the desires of the few. Nowadays, in 1579 DR, everybody knows that harming animal is awful. However, the poor Aboleth, being fungi, do not enjoy the same level of legal protection as sentient beings, animal and plants (thanks to the elves and druid lobby) currently enjoy. This sad state of lack of enlightenment has led to adventurers taking great care to remove them as they tend to produce an audible shriek that could warn the Misunderstood Persons they are seeking to rehabilitate by taking them out of their dungeon and providing them with decent lodging opportunities. The shrieker being very easy to assassinate in one shot, bloodthirsty adventurer often resort to lethal violence instead of attempting negociation, despite fungus being demonstrably able of some form of inter-fungus communication.
I hereby propose that the Council of Waterdeep adopt the following edicts:
1. Shrieker shall henceforth be referred as shriekpersons
2. The sound they emit is obviously one of extreme disconfort. A fine of 1,000 gp will be levied on any person causing such a shriek.
3. The aforementioned fine will be doubled in the event the disturbance takes place in a dungeon, a cave or a sewer, where the adventurers didn't ask for the rightful owner permission to enter beforehand. This fine will be on top on the one for trespassing.
R_J_K75
Legend
Kept from Michael Vick that is...
