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RPG Evolution: When Gaming Bleeds

Monte Cook Games recently released Consent in Gaming, a sensitive topic that addresses subjects that make some players uncomfortable. Central to the understanding of why there's a debate at all involves the concept of "bleed" in role-play.

Monte Cook Games recently released Consent in Gaming, a sensitive topic that addresses subjects that make some players uncomfortable. Central to the understanding of why there's a debate at all involves the concept of "bleed" in role-play.

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Picture courtesy of Pixabay.​

Bleed Basics

Courtney Kraft explains bleed:
It’s a phenomenon where the emotions from a character affect the player out of the game and vice versa. Part of the joy of roleplay comes from diving into the fantasy of being something we’re not. When we play a character for a long time, it’s easy to get swept up in the highs of victorious battle and the lows of character death. When these feelings persist after the game is over, that’s when bleed occurs.
Bleed isn't inherently bad. Like actors in a movie, players sometimes draw on experiences to fuel their role-playing, consciously or subconsciously, and this bleed can happen organically. What's of concern in gaming is when bleed has detrimental consequences to the player.

Consent in Gaming explains the risks of negative bleed:
There’s nothing wrong with bleed—in fact, it’s part of the reason we play games. We want to be excited when our character is excited, to feel the loss when our characters do. However, bleed can cause negative experiences if not handled carefully. For example, maybe a character acted in a way that your character didn’t like, and it made you angry at the player too. Or maybe your character is flirting with another character, and you’re worried that it’s also making you have feelings for the player. It’s important to talk about these distinctions between characters and players early and often, before things take an unexpected turn.
There are several aspects that create bleed, and it's central to understanding why someone would need consent in a game at all. Bleed is a result of immersion, and the level of immersion dictates the social contract of how the game is played. This isn't limited to rules alone, but rests as much on the other players as it is on the subject matter.

One of the experiences that create bleed is a player's association with the game's subject matter. For some players, less realistic games (like Dungeons & Dragons) have a lower chance of the game's experiences bleeding into real life, because it's fantasy and not analogous to real life. Modern games might have the opposite effect, mirroring real life situations a player has experience with. There are plenty of players who feel otherwise of course, particularly those deeply involved in role-playing their characters for some time -- I've experienced bleed role-playing a character on a spaceship just as easily as a modern game.

The other element that can affect bleed is how the game is played. Storytelling games often encourage deeper emotional involvement from a player, while more gamist tabletop games create a situational remove from the character by their nature -- miniatures, tactical combat, and other logistics that are less about role-playing and more about tactics. Live Action Role-Playing games (LARPs) have the player physically inhabit their role and are thus provide more opportunities for bleed. Conversely, Massive Multi-Player Online Role-Playing Games (MMORPGs) might seem like they make bleed unlikely because the player is at a computer, experiencing the game through a virtual avatar -- and yet it can still happen. Players who play a game for a long time can experience more bleed than someone who just joined a game.

Dungeons & Dragons is a particular flashpoint for discussions of bleed, because while it is a fantasy game that can easily be played with disposable characters navigating a dungeon, it can also have surprisingly emotional depth and complexity -- as many live streams of tabletop play have demonstrated.

These two factors determine the "magic circle," where the reality of the world is replaced by the structure of another reality. The magic circle is not a magic wall -- it's porous, and players can easily have discussions about what's happening in the real world, make jokes derived from popular culture their characters would never know, or even just be influenced by their real life surroundings.

The deeper a player engages in the magic circle, the more immersed that player becomes. Governing the player's social contract within the magic circle is something Nordic LARP calls this "the alibi," in which the player accepts the premise that their actions don't reflect on them but rather their character:
Rather than playing a character who is very much like you (“close to home”), deliberately make character choices that separates the character from you and provides some differentiation. If your character has a very similar job to your ideal or actual job, find a reason for your character to change jobs. If your character has a very similar personality to you, find aspects of their personality that are different from yours to play up and focus on. Or play an alternate character that is deliberately “further from home”.

Bleeding Out

Where things get sticky is when real life circumstances apply to imaginary concepts. Bleed exists within the mind of each player but is influenced by the other players. It is fungible and can be highly personal. Additionally, what constitutes bleed can be an unconscious process. This isn't necessarily a problem -- after all, the rush of playing an awesome superhero can be a positive influence for someone who doesn't feel empowered in real life -- unless the bleed touches on negative subjects that makes the player uncomfortable. These psychological triggers are a form of "bleed-in," in which the player's psychology affects the character experience. Not all bleed moments are triggers, but they can be significantly distressing for players who have suffered some form of abuse or trauma.

Consent in Gaming attempts to address these issues by using a variety of tools to define the social contract. For players who are friends, those social contracts have likely been established over years through both in- and out-of-game experiences. But for players who are new to each other, social contracts can be difficult to determine up front, and tools like x-cards can go a long way in preventing misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Thanks to the increasing popularity of tabletop role-playing games, players are coming from more diverse backgrounds with a wide range of experiences. An influx of new players means those experiences will not always be compatible with established social contracts. The recent incident at the UK Gaming Expo, as reported by Darryl is an egregious example of what happens when a game master's expectations of what's appropriate for a "mature" game doesn't match the assumed social contract of players at the table.

This sort of social contract reinforcement can seem intrusive to gamers who have long-suffered from suspicion that they are out of touch with reality, or that if they play an evil character, they are evil (an allegation propagated during the Satanic Panic). This need to perform under a "cover" in their "real" life has made the entire concept of bleed and its associated risks a particularly sensitive topic of discussion.

X-cards and consent discussions may not be for everyone, but as we welcome new players with new experiences into the hobby, those tools will help us all negotiate the social contract that makes every game's magic circle a magical experience.
 

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Michael Tresca

Michael Tresca

3catcircus

Adventurer
you mean playing D&D was really an exercise in preparing for becoming a real adventurer? I guess you got a point, no mind flayer will honor my objection for not giving me advantage on a saving throw against a psionic blast :/

they say multiple times in the article that bleed isn't an inherently bad thing. bleed is a word used because it literally means when one thing accidentally flows into another. "bleed" is used in printing to describe the margin around a an image that may or may not actually make it on the final page due to the possible inaccuracy in printing, and I'm not sure this is considered negative (except the part of the page where ink doesn't get printed lolololol)


okay, well for those of us who are able to comprehend how experiences shape future behaviors (and experiences in general) that's not what this article is trying to say. this sort of thing has been talked about in method acting, and method acting is basically an applied version of bleed. there's also been countless stories of how actors have been affected by studying and performing specific roles. roleplaying is basically a kind of long form improvisation so this really isn't anything new, just framed in a way that makes sense from a gaming perspective.

y'know what's funnier is why he didn't insist they get shot by real guns as part of training, not getting shot is very different from how real fighting is, and it's not like the enemy is going to respect their need to not die lol (inb4 something about live fire exercises, I said shot, not shot at)

You obviously completely don't understand the analogy - and that's ok. The analogy is simple: the world is as it is, not as you want it to be. You can't just "make it go away" if you have some hangup that you insist others should cater to. You as an individual don't have the right to demand that other people not do things that you alone find offensive.

Funny, I would have thought acting like an adult meant approaching each other's hang-ups with maturity and respect.
But just because a GM bills his or her game as having adult thematics in a convention pre-registration list, that doesn't means that they've exhaustively covered everything that might be of concern. Being prepared for one mature subject-matter doesn't mean you're prepared to tolerate all of them.

Acting like an adult means that you are responsible for your own hangups and deal with it accordingly. You don't get to tell everyone else at the table that they need to cater to you at the expense of their own desires in regards to game content. Its a game - don't like the table, find another to play at. Unless the GM or the other players know specifically what your issue is and deliberately introduce that exact same scenario into a game, you really don't have any right to demand anything of them. Hate spiders? Giant spiders are a staple of low-level D&D games. Recently got your house broken into? Bandits and thieves guildmembers are a staple of D&D games. Recently got mugged where the guy put a gun to your wife's head and your GM had an identical scenario in-game afterwards? That's entirely different. I watched a documentary recently where they described the medieval torture/execution of breaking on the wheel and it reminded my of my son's dislocation of his shoulder the week prior during a football game that has ended his season, as well as his wrestling season and probably his lacrosse season. Does that mean I should have demanded that the documentary filmmakers not describe how medieval executioners would break bones and dislocate joints to weave their victims' limbs through the spokes in the wheel? No - it just means I turned off that program.
 

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evileeyore

Mrrrph
When I read the Consent in Gaming document it did come across a bit like what would be discussed between people who are negotiating a BDSM scene to eventually play in between consenting parties, only all references of BDSM were changed to Gaming instead...but that's just anecdotal.
Coming from the BDSM scene... Consent In Gaming comes across as an "introductory manual" for new people joining an exceptionally toxic and dangerous BDSM group.
 


billd91

Not your screen monkey (he/him) 🇺🇦🇵🇸🏳️‍⚧️
Coming from the BDSM scene... Consent In Gaming comes across as an "introductory manual" for new people joining an exceptionally toxic and dangerous BDSM group.

Given the pushback, that seems to be about the temperature of the gaming community... or at least some segments of it.
 

Hussar

Legend
Funny thing is, the whole X card thing is hardly a new discussion. I mean, I was hearing about this when I used to listen to Fear the Boot. That was back in 2016. This has been around for quite a few years now.

But, suddenly, it's all "oh, noes, this comes from the BDSM community, so, it must have all sorts of bad cooties on it" :erm: It's bloody ridiculous the mind buggeringly stupid lengths folks will go to to enforce their ideas on the community. Good grief.

Ok, you don't like it for your group and you wouldn't use it. THAT'S FANTASTIC.

Can you please stop thread crapping then? If you're not going to use it, and it doesn't apply to you or your group, there are ten thousand other threads on the boards to enjoy. Why does it bother you in the slightest that other people are finding this useful? How is it some sort of thing that you need to "defend" against?

IOW, if it's not applying to you, then why are you here talking about it? What benefit are you getting trying to force the conversation away from how to apply this stuff to "we shouldn't even be talking about this at all"?

@Celebrim specifically, what is your goal here? What are you trying to prove?
 

Panda-s1

Scruffy and Determined
Funny thing is, the whole X card thing is hardly a new discussion. I mean, I was hearing about this when I used to listen to Fear the Boot. That was back in 2016. This has been around for quite a few years now.

But, suddenly, it's all "oh, noes, this comes from the BDSM community, so, it must have all sorts of bad cooties on it" :erm: It's bloody ridiculous the mind buggeringly stupid lengths folks will go to to enforce their ideas on the community. Good grief.

Ok, you don't like it for your group and you wouldn't use it. THAT'S FANTASTIC.

Can you please stop thread crapping then? If you're not going to use it, and it doesn't apply to you or your group, there are ten thousand other threads on the boards to enjoy. Why does it bother you in the slightest that other people are finding this useful? How is it some sort of thing that you need to "defend" against?

IOW, if it's not applying to you, then why are you here talking about it? What benefit are you getting trying to force the conversation away from how to apply this stuff to "we shouldn't even be talking about this at all"?

@Celebrim specifically, what is your goal here? What are you trying to prove?
something something what if a new player comes in and puts this extremely obtuse expectation on me, the poor beleaguered GM who no longer gets any say in this modern gaming environment? 😥

really though, I am not at all into BDSM, but I can at least appreciate they have more respect for consent than some gaming groups apparently.

EDIT: come to think of it, @Celebrim never did explain what he found leery about the whole thing.
 

Voadam

Legend
You obviously completely don't understand the analogy - and that's ok. The analogy is simple: the world is as it is, not as you want it to be. You can't just "make it go away" if you have some hangup that you insist others should cater to. You as an individual don't have the right to demand that other people not do things that you alone find offensive.

***

Acting like an adult means that you are responsible for your own hangups and deal with it accordingly. You don't get to tell everyone else at the table that they need to cater to you at the expense of their own desires in regards to game content. Its a game - don't like the table, find another to play at. Unless the GM or the other players know specifically what your issue is and deliberately introduce that exact same scenario into a game, you really don't have any right to demand anything of them. Hate spiders? Giant spiders are a staple of low-level D&D games. Recently got your house broken into? Bandits and thieves guildmembers are a staple of D&D games. Recently got mugged where the guy put a gun to your wife's head and your GM had an identical scenario in-game afterwards? That's entirely different. I watched a documentary recently where they described the medieval torture/execution of breaking on the wheel and it reminded my of my son's dislocation of his shoulder the week prior during a football game that has ended his season, as well as his wrestling season and probably his lacrosse season. Does that mean I should have demanded that the documentary filmmakers not describe how medieval executioners would break bones and dislocate joints to weave their victims' limbs through the spokes in the wheel? No - it just means I turned off that program.

I'd say there are options for a player besides suck it up, leave the game, or demand that issues you don't like be avoided.

If you are phobic about spiders to the point that referencing them disturbs you and you like the group, it is completely reasonable to say "Hey guys, I have a thing with spiders, I'd appreciate it if they not be part of the game."

I've actually had this exact example of spiders happen, it was easy for me as a DM to switch up spiders in a module to a different description monster with the same stat block. Lolth is still a spider queen as a background and spiders exist in the world, but I did not have to have them show up front and center in my gothic horror module even though they were listed as a monster.

If the dislocation of your son's shoulder got to you to the point that medieval rack torture disturbs you it is appropriate to communicate that to a DM or fellow players who are getting graphically medieval so they can choose to not push those buttons on you.
 

Hussar

Legend
something something what if a new player comes in and puts this extremely obtuse expectation on me, the poor beleaguered GM who no longer gets any say in this modern gaming environment? 😥

really though, I am not at all into BDSM, but I can at least appreciate they have more respect for consent than some gaming groups apparently.

EDIT: come to think of it, @Celebrim never did explain what he found leery about the whole thing.

To me, it's just baffling.

I mean, complaining about the word "bleed"? Seriously? It's a perfectly understandable word that carries virtually no connotations. Stuff from the outside bleeds in or bleeds through. It's a perfectly every day use of the word that is used in every day conversations.

I washed my shirt and the colors bled. OH MY GOD!! I'm triggering people?!?!?!

The counter example was GTFO. Again, this isn't exactly an every day use acronym and it only has one meaning - a negative one. How is that even remotely close to a word that is being used in the proper way, exactly the way the word is meant to be used? The whole "negative connotation" thing is such a red herring that is solely meant to distract and derail the conversation because NOW instead of actually talking about how we can respect people's sensibilities at the table, we have to have a pointless sidebar about what words we should be using.

It's bloody textbook by now.
 

MGibster

Legend
Funny thing is, the whole X card thing is hardly a new discussion. I mean, I was hearing about this when I used to listen to Fear the Boot. That was back in 2016. This has been around for quite a few years now.

That how things work sometimes. I first heard about the X card a year or two back but it looks like a wider circle of people are discussing it now.

But, suddenly, it's all "oh, noes, this comes from the BDSM community, so, it must have all sorts of bad cooties on it" :erm: It's bloody ridiculous the mind buggeringly stupid lengths folks will go to to enforce their ideas on the community. Good grief.

I applaud the BDSM community for coming up with their Safe, Sane, and Consensual standards. They engage in very intimate activities, often physical in nature, and it's very important for everyone to know what everyone involved is into so nobody gets hurt. My relationship as a dungeon master for a role playing game is nowhere near as intimate as the relationship between a dungeon master and their thrall in a BDSM relationship. For me it's not so much "bad cooties" it's that I'm not approaching my RPG sessions as though it's an emotionally risky venture.

Can you please stop thread crapping then? If you're not going to use it, and it doesn't apply to you or your group, there are ten thousand other threads on the boards to enjoy. Why does it bother you in the slightest that other people are finding this useful? How is it some sort of thing that you need to "defend" against?

When someone posts in a forum like this they're inviting others to participate. Not everyone will see eye-to-eye on everything.

IOW, if it's not applying to you, then why are you here talking about it? What benefit are you getting trying to force the conversation away from how to apply this stuff to "we shouldn't even be talking about this at all"?

I occasionally enjoy gaming in public spaces like game stores and conventions. I'd certainly like to participate in conversations regarding what may become the expected norm in gaming.
 

Umbran

Mod Squad
Staff member
Supporter
Coming from the BDSM scene... Consent In Gaming comes across as an "introductory manual" for new people joining an exceptionally toxic and dangerous BDSM group.

Have you ever been in a convention gaming hall? Have you not seen the discussions of harassment?
 

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