Oofta
Legend
So when discussing the game we can never discuss how it's actually played. In addition, I was answering a very specific question "Wouldn't the essence of a thing be the same for everyone, even if the specific permutations of their lived experience of it are different?"And that's totally fair and a perfectly reasonable discussion to have. I can completely get behind that.
But, where the problem generally occurs is that you are advocating a specific view - what works at your table - and in many cases people aren't arguing that. When someone says, "Hey, 5e doesn't really support exploration very well", they don't mean that you can't do exploration. They don't mean that the DM can't make it work. They mean exactly what they say - 5e mechanics (as in the system of 5e, not the game which is system+table) don't have a lot of heft when it comes to exploration.
When you try to push for game (system+table) it's very difficult not to see it as advocating a very specific playsteyle. Just because someone says that the system doesn't support something very well doesn't mean that they automatically want to rewrite everything, or that they cannot make it work. What is being said though, is a simple truth - the system doesn't support X. And, if the rules are silent on X, then that's just true. You cannot claim that a system supports something that it doesn't actually have any support for.
Now, you can talk about how system+table works for you, but, I generally find that a lot less useful because there are just too many things that are unarticulated. I don't play at your table. I don't play with your players. What works for you at your table isn't necessarily something that will help me. It might, but, generally, no it won't. And, frequently we see people simply blow off problems with claims that "well, I don't have this problem, so there's no problem with the system". And around and around it goes.
I guess my basic point is, it is always very, very useful to be absolutely crystal clear that you aren't actually talking about the system. It would save a LOT of back and forth in conversations because you're simply talking past people.
So no, I don't think the essence of the thing, how the game is actually played from one table to the next is different.
But I get it. Anytime I say anything about my game, I'm not only wrong but somehow actively harming the conversation. Right.