RPG Theory- The Limits of My Language are the Limits of My World

Only Bards and Gnome Paladins drink New Coke. Says so in the bible.

The path of the righteous player is beset on all sides by the inequities of the Elves and the tyranny of Bards. Blessed is he who, in the name of St. Cuthbert and Pholtus, shepherds the weak through the Valley of the Mage. For he is truly his party's keeper and the finder of the Lost Caverns of Tsojcanth.

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger the Bards and Elves who attempt to poison and destroy my party. And you will know I am a Paladin subclass when I lay my vengeance upon you!
 

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The path of the righteous player is beset on all sides by the inequities of the Elves and the tyranny of Bards. Blessed is he who, in the name of St. Cuthbert and Pholtus, shepherds the weak through the Valley of the Mage. For he is truly his party's keeper and the finder of the Lost Caverns of Tsojcanth.

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger the Bards and Elves who attempt to poison and destroy my party. And you will know I am a Paladin subclass when I lay my vengeance upon you!
SMITE ...SMITE ... SMITESMITESMITE

You need the violence at the end there...
 





Why has no one mentioned the 5e of colas, Diet Coke
If Mountain Dew can sell like hot cakes with its heavy association with tooth decay and drug abuse, then 5E with its popularity must be mountain Dew with its six ability scores and alignment.
 

If Mountain Dew can sell like hot cakes with its heavy association with tooth decay and drug abuse, then 5E with its popularity must be mountain Dew with its six ability scores and alignment.

Would that make Cheerwine … Call of Cthulhu?

The horror …. THE HORROR.
 


Never heard of Cheerwine, but when I googled it the next item up was Mustard flavored soda. I didnt need to know that was a thing...

If you've ever seen a child eat a corn dog, chances are you've seen someone suck on the end and slurp up mustard like it was a drink and not a condiment.
No, cant say I have...
Mustard Flavored Soda is your chance to do the same with a refreshing bubbly finish. Each bottle, sweetened with pure cane sugar, is filled with effervescent and complex tangy, sour, and sweet flavors. So pour a glass to share with friends; the taste is so oddly accurate, you might find yourselves dipping your Bavarian pretzel in it.
erm...
 

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