RPGs and mental health issues

[nedjer]

The thing is though, that it is like hiring. It's a lot better to turn down a good player than accept a bad player. Turning down the good player is unfortunate, true. But having a bad player makes the experience worse for everyone and can cause actual damage.

So if the criteria are somewhat too broad, that's an acceptable cost of using the heuristic.

I guess we just have different default settings for some risks and how to manage them. Personally, the focus is on a 'good'/ fun fit at and around the table - as basic as 'I hope they like Traveller and please don't let her/ him be a snack hog.'

 

[Glade Riven]

Meh. Most of the people I've played with were decently or highly creative NeRDs who are easily distracted by Shiney Objects.

 

[Lwaxy]

But someone could still fit your criterias and still be a bad player. Or worse, even a stressful person to be around. Someone with a stressful job or a relationship problem who lets off all steam at the table in a probably disrupting way is just what is not needed in any of our groups (we already have one of those in one of the groups and that we can deal with, barely).

And how anyone dresses is totally irrelevant to me as long as they are decently covered. The more excentric the clothes, the better probably. People who are able to show their individuality are usually creative people, it has little to do with not fitting in anywhere. Heck, it is their free time, they can dress however they want.

I just now remember one creepy guy I turned away some years ago who totally freaked me out by the way he stared at everything and everyone. He had the sort of eyes which, thanks to the respective movies, you might associate with a psychopath. I think that was the weirdest meeting I ever had with a potential player. I had the two other players of the group with me at that time, and all 3 of us very nerdy, comfortable with weird folks agreed that this was not somebody we'd not even want to work/going to school with, not talking of spending our free time with him.

 

[was]

There has been a gamer or two that we have turned away over the years. But that was more of a person not bathing thing than a mental one. I think gaming does attract shy/introverted people who are wanting to be social. It does offer a less intimidating environment than say, showing up at a gym, movie or football game on your own.

 

[Elf Witch]

But someone could still fit your criterias and still be a bad player. Or worse, even a stressful person to be around. Someone with a stressful job or a relationship problem who lets off all steam at the table in a probably disrupting way is just what is not needed in any of our groups (we already have one of those in one of the groups and that we can deal with, barely).

And how anyone dresses is totally irrelevant to me as long as they are decently covered. The more excentric the clothes, the better probably. People who are able to show their individuality are usually creative people, it has little to do with not fitting in anywhere. Heck, it is their free time, they can dress however they want.

I just now remember one creepy guy I turned away some years ago who totally freaked me out by the way he stared at everything and everyone. He had the sort of eyes which, thanks to the respective movies, you might associate with a psychopath. I think that was the weirdest meeting I ever had with a potential player. I had the two other players of the group with me at that time, and all 3 of us very nerdy, comfortable with weird folks agreed that this was not somebody we'd not even want to work/going to school with, not talking of spending our free time with him.

I have to disagree on the eccentric dress showing a more creative person. I have nothing against pink hair and eye brow piercings or even goth clothes. I gamed with a woman who was into retro clothes and dressed solely in fashions from the 30, 40, 50 and 60. Some of this can be a way of expressing your personality and that is cool. But some of it is more about attracting drama and wanting people to look at them and those people are often selfish spot light hogs at the table.

Clothes should be appropriate to the setting. If you are going out to a club to attract a mate then a low cut shirt and revealing a lot of skin makes sense, But to walk into a book store to meet a potential DM dressed like that makes me wonder why do you want to game are you looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend? Save the hip huggers and low cut shirts for the right setting.

When you meet a first person for the first time you first impression is based on how they look and present themselves. If that first impression is bad then you have to work harder to put across a positive impression.

First impression are not always right. My first impression of a guy who later turned out to be the best DM I have played with was not a great one. There he was at the table of our Shadowrun game. Our GM had invited him without telling the rest of us. He came across as such a jerk. Much later I realized that he was not a jerk that his sense of humor was the type that could be taken that way.

I have also had first impression that were favorable turn out to be very wrong.

But that does change the fact that we humans do this. And it is why success coaches stress the importance of making a good first impression.

 

[Lwaxy]

That's why I said decently covered High heels and mini skirt wouldn't go over.

The attention hogs I met were either very sloppily dressed or dressed overly business like. We have other sloppy dressers and business-style clothing players who are anything but, so I'm not giving much on that experience either.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

High heels and mini skirt wouldn't go over.

What about KISS style boots and a kilt?

 

[Lwaxy]

Haha that would work nicely