I can't believe they went that way with hand crossbows.
Or, you know, you could take the suggestion as it was intended- as a helpful hint as to the social contract here in Moruss' house, at Moruss' party- and just chill out. Approach things in a less confrontational way. Or else don't be surprised when you get this kind of response.
But this kind of sarcastic reply isn't going to win you any points when the other guys are trying to be reasonable.
ROTFL! Isn't it fun to see the troll get it wrong?
Rounds 1 and 4 don't work because drawing ammunition must be part of the crossbow attack. I'd probably let it slide, though.
It's easy to fix this:
Round 1
Attack with one handed weapon
Sheathe weapon
Fire and reload hand crossbow
Round 2
Fire and reload
Unsheathe weapon
Attack with weapon
Repeat
Not as easy as you might think.
First off, you have to make the attack before you get the bonus action: "When you use the Attack action and attack with a one-handed weapon..." So you can't fire the crossbow before you attack with the weapon, because it's the attack that grants the bonus action. If you use your Attack action to attack with the crossbow, then you can't attack with the melee weapon -- Two Weapon Fighting requires that the first attack be with a light melee weapon, and a hand crossbow isn't a melee weapon.
Pauper
Second, the text of Crossbow Expert says "you can use a bonus action to attack with a loaded hand crossbow you are holding." If the hand crossbow isn't loaded when you declare the bonus action, you don't get to make the attack. Some DMs hand-wave this requirement, but it does exist in the feat and can be enforced. Load-and-fire is perfectly acceptable with the Attack action, as noted under the ammunition rules, but not for this special bonus attack, if the DM chooses to enforce the rule.
Pauper
Not as easy as you might think.
First off, you have to make the attack before you get the bonus action: "When you use the Attack action and attack with a one-handed weapon..." So you can't fire the crossbow before you attack with the weapon, because it's the attack that grants the bonus action. If you use your Attack action to attack with the crossbow, then you can't attack with the melee weapon -- Two Weapon Fighting requires that the first attack be with a light melee weapon, and a hand crossbow isn't a melee weapon.
Second, the text of Crossbow Expert says "you can use a bonus action to attack with a loaded hand crossbow you are holding." If the hand crossbow isn't loaded when you declare the bonus action, you don't get to make the attack. Some DMs hand-wave this requirement, but it does exist in the feat and can be enforced. Load-and-fire is perfectly acceptable with the Attack action, as noted under the ammunition rules, but not for this special bonus attack, if the DM chooses to enforce the rule.
I am not trying to win points. In fact, I would not even post anymore except that y'all keep talking to me.
His response was designed to get an emotional response from me...
There is an old saying: two wrongs do not make a right. I was wrong. He was wrong as well.
I'm gonna leave it that and not play amateur mod...
I wouldn't interpret the word "when" to imply any kind of causality or as necessitating a particular order of events. To me, it means "at the time", which would imply you can take the bonus action on the same turn as you take the attack action. I don't think it matters what order you do it in. It seems to me that all that's required is you have a free hand when you take the bonus action so you can reload. And remember we're not talking about two-weapon fighting here. You can't use a hand crossbow in two-weapon fighting because it's not a melee weapon.
I'm not sure if this is in direct response to my post. If you read it again you'll see that I accounted for the crossbow being loaded before the bonus attack occurrs, as in the statement "fire and load", meaning to fire an already loaded crossbow and then reload it as per Crawford's clarification of the ammunition property.
Well, the issue in not presuming causality is that, if you use the bonus action before the action that's required to enable it, then you're pretty much committed to that main action -- you can't fire the crossbow with the bonus action enabled by Crossbow Expert and then decide to cast a spell or Withdraw instead. A DM can enforce this by requiring you to take the action that enables the bonus action first.