Silly Putty Comic Summer 2005 - (Winner posted!)
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DaveMage
Slumbering in Tsar
reveal said:demiurge1138 v. DaveMage
Punchline = I thought you said "Beaver Swap"?!
You have 72 hours. Take your time and good luck!
Ok, I realize this will probably cause me to lose my first ever competition for “Silly Putty Comic”, but this is all I’ve got:
Top Ten Reasons Why “I thought you said "Beaver Swap"?!” Just Ain’t a Funny Punchline
10. The only way to make it funny would be a violation of Eric’s Grandmother, er, a violation of Eric’s Grandmother’s rules.
9. Beavers build dams. And I can’t think of one damn joke.
8. The only “play on words” term I could come up for “beaver” is “weaver”. Have you ever heard anything funny – ever – about a weaver? Me neither. (Though I’ve heard that they can be a bit loomy, er loony…*ahem*)
7. Of course, I could get cliché, you know: “you brought her, you beaver” or “beaver? I don’t even know her – ha!” These options, however, are extremely unfunny.
6. BiggusGeekus (This has nothing to do with beavers or swaps, I just think BG is hilarious, so I figured putting his name in here would make this post funnier.)
5. In a series of unpublished articles, “Swap” has been identified as the least-funny term in this entire sentence.
4. Chickenbutt. This is another unfunny (and unrelated) term, but once you’ve had too much to drink, saying “chickenbutt” over and over becomes hilarious. Just ask my old college buddies…
3. Did you notice that the words “Beaver Swap” begin with “B” and “S”. BS is flying high here!
2. Reveal, Joshua Dyal, and Rel walk into a bar…(oof!) Hopefully this knocked them unconscious and thus spared them from reading this.
And the number one reason why “I thought you said "Beaver Swap"?!” Just Ain’t a Funny Punchline…
#1. It turns out "Beaver Swap" is a euphamism for "driving naked down the highway in a convertable at full speed in the middle of the night with your headlights off while shouting "Otters Suck!"
EN World: Unfortunately, you heard it here first...
demiurge1138
Inventor of Super-Toast
An attempt to create a joke with the punchline "I thought you said 'beaver swap'". Quite likely a failed one:
A man has poured his life savings into his dream career, building a store he calls Knives Etc. He invites all his friends to attend the grand opening, and on the fateful day, one friend after another comes in, admires the store, buys a cleaver, bread knife, filletting knife, whatever they need.
Towards the end of the day, the guy's friend Bob comes in. He looks a bit nervous, and asks his friend aside. "What's going on?" asks the owner of the store.
"Well, you see, I did like you said. I got Jerry Mathers tied up in my trunk. What'll you give me for him?" asks Bob.
"What are you talking about? This is a store where people buy knives! This isn't some sort of kidnapping ring!"
"Cleaver shop? I thought you said 'Beaver swap'!"
I humbly submit this unto you, the judges, knowing that it is an abysmal joke.
Demiurge out.
A man has poured his life savings into his dream career, building a store he calls Knives Etc. He invites all his friends to attend the grand opening, and on the fateful day, one friend after another comes in, admires the store, buys a cleaver, bread knife, filletting knife, whatever they need.
Towards the end of the day, the guy's friend Bob comes in. He looks a bit nervous, and asks his friend aside. "What's going on?" asks the owner of the store.
"Well, you see, I did like you said. I got Jerry Mathers tied up in my trunk. What'll you give me for him?" asks Bob.
"What are you talking about? This is a store where people buy knives! This isn't some sort of kidnapping ring!"
"Cleaver shop? I thought you said 'Beaver swap'!"
I humbly submit this unto you, the judges, knowing that it is an abysmal joke.
Demiurge out.
DungeonmasterCal
First Post
Wow...this is hard. I've never tried to be funny on command. Stay tuned for further developments.
DungeonmasterCal
First Post
A paladin and his somewhat dimwitted cohort, after fighting their way through the troll guardians of an evil temple, are taking stock of the situation before making their final assault on the priests within.
The paladin, somewhat of a glory hound in spite of his calling, says to his sidekick, "One day, when they speak of this in tavern tales, they'll say it sure took a lot of balls to bring down the Temple of Horror."
His companion, looking at the bleeding and wounded trolls lying scattered around the entrance, says, "Yeah but since Trolls regenerate, is this really an alignment violation?"
Ok... My hat's in the ring!
The paladin, somewhat of a glory hound in spite of his calling, says to his sidekick, "One day, when they speak of this in tavern tales, they'll say it sure took a lot of balls to bring down the Temple of Horror."
His companion, looking at the bleeding and wounded trolls lying scattered around the entrance, says, "Yeah but since Trolls regenerate, is this really an alignment violation?"
Ok... My hat's in the ring!
warlord
First Post
Ok so one day a group of lawful good Enworlder Tolkien fanboys come across a certain anti-Tolkien thread. "Only a dick would make this thread." said an Enworlder. "Then" concluded another "a dickless person couldn't make one therefore the thread null and void." The rabid fanboys then completed their plan and rendered the thread nulll and void. Overcome with grief they all cried "What have we done we're lawful good!" then the dimwitted yet loveable fanboy says "Yeah but since Trolls regenerate, is this really an alignment violation?"
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