Different Types of Attorneys Will Be Bad in Completely Different Ways


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Maxperson

Morkus from Orkus
3. Plaintiff/Defense. Some attorneys go both ways, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But in some areas of the law, attorneys have specialized in representing either one side, or the other- yes, the law is conservative, and still includes vestiges of heteronormativity. In some cases, it’s required (the prosecutor can’t defend the accused). In others, it’s custom and specialization. Look at this advertisement-
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Oh, wow. Did he ever swing and totally miss with his nick name. He shoulda gone with "The Steamer."
 


Maxperson

Morkus from Orkus
My fave has always been:

Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?

A: Only one. All the rest are true stories.
This is my favorite.

A doctor, an engineer and a lawyer were having lunch together when they began arguing about whose profession had been around the longest. The doctor looked at the other two and said, "My profession is the oldest, because God took a rib from Adam to make Eve and that was a medical procedure." The engineer just shook his said and said, "No. My profession is the oldest, because God created the universe out of the primal chaos in the first ever feat of engineering." The lawyer just smirked at the doctor and the engineer and said, "Who do you think created the primal chaos?"
 

Dannyalcatraz

Schmoderator
Staff member
Supporter
This is my favorite.

A doctor, an engineer and a lawyer were having lunch together when they began arguing about whose profession had been around the longest. The doctor looked at the other two and said, "My profession is the oldest, because God took a rib from Adam to make Eve and that was a medical procedure." The engineer just shook his said and said, "No. My profession is the oldest, because God created the universe out of the primal chaos in the first ever feat of engineering." The lawyer just smirked at the doctor and the engineer and said, "Who do you think created the primal chaos?"
True story.😉
 

Voadam

Legend
To better understand the various types of attorneys out there, remember that attorneys are a Manichean lot, looking at life as a binary conflict of evil v. eviler. So the primary binaries you will see with attorneys are as follows, in rough order of importance:

Criminal v. Civil

Transaction v. Litigation

Plaintiff v. Defense

Federal v. State
Attorneys have extra alignment axes.
 





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