Different Types of Attorneys Will Be Bad in Completely Different Ways

[Deset Gled]

I love it when Canadians talk about "taking the 5th", ie. invoking their "Fifth Amendment rights." We don't abide by the American Constitution. We do, however, have a Constitutional Right against self incrimination. You cannot be compelled to bear witness against yourself. In practice this means that you cannot be compelled to take the witness stand in a legal case against you, however, if you're dumb enough to take the stand then you must answer all questions put to you, by either Defence or The Crown, truthfully. You can't simply decide that answering questions from The Crown isn't in your best interests. That way lies criminal contempt charges.

Even laws benefit from good marketing. "I plead the fifth" is just a way better slogan than "Sorry, but I need to invoke my rights against self incrimination, eh."

 

[Ryujin]

Even laws benefit from good marketing. "I plead the fifth" is just a way better slogan than "Sorry, but I need to invoke my rights against self incrimination, eh."

It does, however, tend to indicate that you went to the School of Law & Order.

 

[Clint_L]

[deleted for pedantry]

 

[Clint_L]

Canadians watch so much American media that we often confuse their laws for ours, it's true.

On the other hand, Americans also often confuse their laws for ours when they visit. I live in a border city and we are constantly getting Americans complaining about their rights being violated when we confiscate their firearms at the border and stuff like that.

Also, don't get too excited when the speed limit signs on the highway suddenly go up to 110.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Look at this advertisement-

The Hammer works for Plaintiffs. The Hammer is out there, looking out for the little people, smashing the (deep-pocketed business) Defendants. Do you think The Hammer is going to be defending personal injury cases? Heck no! He’s The Hammer, not The Nail! Businesses go to Big “The Nail” Law to defend their interests. And the The Nail isn’t going to be taking your piddling case on contingency.

We have a “Hammer” here in D/FW! And not only is his son part of his firm, he’s using the same nickname. Occasionally, they even appear in the commercials together.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

What does this mean? The attorney will know that they won’t be very good at answering questions outside of their field. In essence, they would be defaulting to the useless information they learned in law school and to pass the Bar.

Example #1: my Civil Procedure prof at UT School of Law was the lead attorney defending the school in a slew of reverse discrimination lawsuits brought by white would-be students who were denied admission. He won each one.

He also said that he probably couldn’t pass the Texas State Bar Exam without having to study just like we eventually had to. His knowledge of big sections of law outside of CivPro and general litigation were woefully out of date.

And many of the other professors’ knowledge was equally siloed.

But talk to them about their areas of expertise? It’s like listening to Gandalf and the Elves discussing the history of Middle Earth. My Marital Property Rights prof* could literally trace the evolution of a particular statute from its initial appearance in the Texas constitution, through each and every revision it went through over 175+ years- with dates- faster than you could take notes.





* he was an 8 times divorced ex-Mormon who had a resemblance to Kenny Rodgers.

 

[Ryujin]

Canadians watch so much American media that we often confuse their laws for ours, it's true.

On the other hand, Americans also often confuse their laws for ours when they visit. I live in a border city and we are constantly getting Americans complaining about their rights being violated when we confiscate their firearms at the border and stuff like that.

Also, don't get too excited when the speed limit signs on the highway suddenly go up to 110.

 

[Edgar Ironpelt]

The best lawyer joke I've heard was told to me by a lawyer: "The trouble with lawyer jokes is that lawyers don't think they're funny, and non-lawyers don't think they're jokes."

 

[Snarf Zagyg]

The best lawyer joke I've heard was told to me by a lawyer: "The trouble with lawyer jokes is that lawyers don't think they're funny, and non-lawyers don't think they're jokes."

What's the difference between a bad lawyer and a great lawyer?

A bad lawyer might drag your case on for years. A great lawyer will drag your case on for years!

 

[Snarf Zagyg]

Posted the next part.

Attorneys- They're Just Like Mechanics and Home Contractors

I took a little time, eh? If you're catching up now ... where have you been??? This is ... well, kinda either the fourth or fifth post in the series on picking an attorney, depending on how you count. You can check out the first part here, and the second part here, and the third part here, and...

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