Snarf Zagyg
Notorious Liquefactionist
Delta delta delta, can Snarf help ya help ya help ya?
That's right, as we round the bend toward Labor Day in the United States, Labour Day in Upper United States (sometimes referred to as, uh, Canadia?) and September in the remainder of the god-forsaken parts of the world that believe "football" is played with your feet, it is increasingly apparent that such activities as "Being Around Other People" might be bad.
HA HA! I've always been ahead of the curve on that one. To quote my grand-pappy, Aveeare Zagyg, as he always used to say to me when I was a wee little Snarfling, "People are like oysters. I hate 'em. Now, get me a gallon of whisky and some laudanum, boy, or I'll give you something to cry about at kindergarten."
In order to while away what is sure to be a lonely fall, I will be providing a brief list of recommendations for Bingeable Shows for the Upcoming Lockdowns. Sure, this coming month might see you try to zoom with other people, or have to interact with those weirdos that live in your house (you know- family!) but you’ll probably need to have a little company for your inner introvert. And what's better company than some quality television watching? So, without further elaboration, some shows for every mood, most of which are deeper cuts. I am not including obvious choices like Breaking Bad or Stranger Things or any of the other shows you have definitely already seen by now:
You’re just too happy during the pandemic, and you need something to bring you down.
Watch the Leftovers. (HBOMax)
Imagine a world where 2% of the world's population died, or disappeared. Woah. Unimaginable, right?
....oh, yeah. Anyway ....
The first season can be kind of an unhappy slog at times. And the show doesn’t get any happier. But it does get weird. Really, really weird. And then it also gets good. Really, really good. One of the best shows that no one watched, and, perhaps, the best-ever series finale. This is a show that will stick with you for a long, long time. Come for the lingering depression, stay for the Woah ... mind blown.
You are no longer on speaking terms with your family/roommates, and need to hide out for a week or two.
Watch the Shield. (Hulu)
This show ran for incredible seven seasons and 89 episodes. Watching this show isn’t a little binge; this is a daunting commitment. But it is well worth it. Yeah, some of the early episodes are already a bit dated. Sure, the plot meanders a bit in the middle seasons. But from the opening, shocking episode, to the final haunting images, this was consistently one of the best shows that The Commish was ever in. Come for the Thing, stay for Walton Goggins’ breakout performance.
Crazy Uncle Bob is over, and you need to hide out for the day since he's trying to sell you on his crazy.
Watch Alias Grace. (Netflix)
Don’t let the name fool you; this is engrossing viewing that speaks to the time we are going through right now. Saying that it’s The Handmaid’s Tale, but less science fiction-y, does it a disservice; this is a powerful meditation on truth and gender dynamics served up in six episodes.
Plot isn’t as important to you as gorgeous cinematography, exotic locations, and polyamorous hot lovin’.
Watch Sense8. (Netflix)
A show that provokes many thoughts, the primary one being, “How in the heck did this get greenlit in the first place?” Try not to think too deeply about some of the glaring plot holes and leaps of logic, but instead concentrate on the sumptuous visuals and the general “everyone love each other” message which is imparted with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. A polyamorous sledgehammer dancing to a techno beat. During dark times, this is a show that, for the most part, should make you feel good.
You finished the Leftovers, and felt that you were still way too happy and optimistic.
Watch Rectify. (AMC+, fubo)
The best show that no one has watched, this is an amazingly acted slow burn on the difficulties of trying to integrate yourself back into society after spending most of your life in prison. Watching this show will fill your head with questions, questions that you will never be able to discuss with anyone else because, again, no one has ever watched this show.
You just want to watch something on Amazon Prime, because you're holed up in your basement and only get supplies through Amazon.
Choices! Here, you can see what would happen if House, M.D. had to diagnose Loki with lupus-
The Night Manager
But if you’re looking for a truly off-beat show that managed to go under the radar, hear me now and believe me later, watch-
The Patriot
In all seriousness, watch the first episode; by the end of that episode, you will either have fully committed to the show, or you’ll understand that it’s not for you. Well, there's a third option. If you find yourself wondering why I recommended some movie with Mel Gibson killing people, then you've accidentally picked the wrong Patriot.
You just need to see some more Goggins, because in this time of need, we all need more Goggins.
Justified. (Hulu)
Vice Principals. (HBOMax)
At some point in the future, I will return with a Part 2. Maybe.
That's right, as we round the bend toward Labor Day in the United States, Labour Day in Upper United States (sometimes referred to as, uh, Canadia?) and September in the remainder of the god-forsaken parts of the world that believe "football" is played with your feet, it is increasingly apparent that such activities as "Being Around Other People" might be bad.
HA HA! I've always been ahead of the curve on that one. To quote my grand-pappy, Aveeare Zagyg, as he always used to say to me when I was a wee little Snarfling, "People are like oysters. I hate 'em. Now, get me a gallon of whisky and some laudanum, boy, or I'll give you something to cry about at kindergarten."
In order to while away what is sure to be a lonely fall, I will be providing a brief list of recommendations for Bingeable Shows for the Upcoming Lockdowns. Sure, this coming month might see you try to zoom with other people, or have to interact with those weirdos that live in your house (you know- family!) but you’ll probably need to have a little company for your inner introvert. And what's better company than some quality television watching? So, without further elaboration, some shows for every mood, most of which are deeper cuts. I am not including obvious choices like Breaking Bad or Stranger Things or any of the other shows you have definitely already seen by now:
You’re just too happy during the pandemic, and you need something to bring you down.
Watch the Leftovers. (HBOMax)
Imagine a world where 2% of the world's population died, or disappeared. Woah. Unimaginable, right?
....oh, yeah. Anyway ....
The first season can be kind of an unhappy slog at times. And the show doesn’t get any happier. But it does get weird. Really, really weird. And then it also gets good. Really, really good. One of the best shows that no one watched, and, perhaps, the best-ever series finale. This is a show that will stick with you for a long, long time. Come for the lingering depression, stay for the Woah ... mind blown.
You are no longer on speaking terms with your family/roommates, and need to hide out for a week or two.
Watch the Shield. (Hulu)
This show ran for incredible seven seasons and 89 episodes. Watching this show isn’t a little binge; this is a daunting commitment. But it is well worth it. Yeah, some of the early episodes are already a bit dated. Sure, the plot meanders a bit in the middle seasons. But from the opening, shocking episode, to the final haunting images, this was consistently one of the best shows that The Commish was ever in. Come for the Thing, stay for Walton Goggins’ breakout performance.
Crazy Uncle Bob is over, and you need to hide out for the day since he's trying to sell you on his crazy.
Watch Alias Grace. (Netflix)
Don’t let the name fool you; this is engrossing viewing that speaks to the time we are going through right now. Saying that it’s The Handmaid’s Tale, but less science fiction-y, does it a disservice; this is a powerful meditation on truth and gender dynamics served up in six episodes.
Plot isn’t as important to you as gorgeous cinematography, exotic locations, and polyamorous hot lovin’.
Watch Sense8. (Netflix)
A show that provokes many thoughts, the primary one being, “How in the heck did this get greenlit in the first place?” Try not to think too deeply about some of the glaring plot holes and leaps of logic, but instead concentrate on the sumptuous visuals and the general “everyone love each other” message which is imparted with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. A polyamorous sledgehammer dancing to a techno beat. During dark times, this is a show that, for the most part, should make you feel good.
You finished the Leftovers, and felt that you were still way too happy and optimistic.
Watch Rectify. (AMC+, fubo)
The best show that no one has watched, this is an amazingly acted slow burn on the difficulties of trying to integrate yourself back into society after spending most of your life in prison. Watching this show will fill your head with questions, questions that you will never be able to discuss with anyone else because, again, no one has ever watched this show.
You just want to watch something on Amazon Prime, because you're holed up in your basement and only get supplies through Amazon.
Choices! Here, you can see what would happen if House, M.D. had to diagnose Loki with lupus-
The Night Manager
But if you’re looking for a truly off-beat show that managed to go under the radar, hear me now and believe me later, watch-
The Patriot
In all seriousness, watch the first episode; by the end of that episode, you will either have fully committed to the show, or you’ll understand that it’s not for you. Well, there's a third option. If you find yourself wondering why I recommended some movie with Mel Gibson killing people, then you've accidentally picked the wrong Patriot.
You just need to see some more Goggins, because in this time of need, we all need more Goggins.
Justified. (Hulu)
Vice Principals. (HBOMax)
At some point in the future, I will return with a Part 2. Maybe.
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