So... My Group Just Broke...

[MadMaxim]

I just feel like getting this of my chest, because it's both a sort of relief and a pain in the butt at the same time. Yesterday, the group I'm in just fragmented because of some really stupid argument that was being done through text messages on cell phones. I know this isn't the best way to solve anything, but it had to be put to rest fast to avoid becoming a problem. I'll give you a brief description of the setup:

I was in a group that consisted of 6 people, 2 couples, a friend and myself. We've had some controversy earlier and had just got back to playing together again a couple of weeks ago. We had played two sessions with the new DM (I used to be the DM for the old group, but I like getting in front of the screen once in a while) and things were going great, or so I thought. Things got complicated because the DM started writing text messages to me on Saturday that one of the other players (her friend from the other couple) had invited a new player to join the group without asking the rest of us. She asked through a text message if it was okay that a new player joined the group. I didn't mind, but I wanted her to go through it with our DM, because she was after all the one who had to be comfortable with more players. She wasn't comfortable with it and told the inviting player. Then the inviting player told her that she would leave the group together with her fiancé because of this. I was seriously shocked that she would pull a stunt like that, but I wasn't surprised because she had a tendency to act really immaturely even though she's 21. She couldn't give me a good reason for wanting to leave the group because stop for invites, but I think I know the real reason.

I believe it all comes down to the fact that our DM is getting married to her fiancé (the first couple) this October and the player and her fiancé is getting married in the summer next year (the second couple). She's mad at her friend that she's getting married before her and not being invited to the wedding. I asked the leaving player what the heck that was all about, but she refused to present any good reasons to me for her to leave the group. She and I have never been the best of friends, but I would really like to know her reasons for leaving the group and gave her my opinion on the matter (basically telling her that I thought she was acting like a jerk over nothing) and now they're out of the group because of all this nonsense.

I can't say that I'm going to miss her, but her fiancé is caught between a rock and a hard place, because he doesn't seem to like confrontations and seemingly refuses to discuss the matter with her, so she pretty much rules the household. Of course he has to come out on her side to avoid problems at home, but still...

Sorry for the rambling, but I just needed to get this out. Feel free to comment and tell me that I'm the jerk in all of this, but I believe I've been very patient with her for way too long and this break-up has been a long time coming. The wedding plans just pushed it over the edge for the one getting married next year and I've been wanting to give her a piece of my mind for a very long time, because she has always been acting like an immature brat (by the way, I'm 27, so it's not like I'm ancient and wise beyond my years, but still...)...

So, has anyone had similar experiences with fellow players?

 

[Arashi Ravenblade]

I say good riddance.
Along with wimps who wont ask for the day off, Couples are a bane to a gameing group.

 

[brunswick]

From the sounds of things, you're better off in the long run. You could maybe try to recruit some new gamers for your group. Its a shame when some players leave or are shoved out due to bad blood within the group or between some of its members but this can happen. Sometimes you have to move on.

 

[Barastrondo]

I say good riddance.
Along with wimps who wont ask for the day off, Couples are a bane to a gameing group.

Elf-pretending is only for the hardcore.

 

[Scribble]

Another episode of.... As The Die Turns...

 

[Lord Zardoz]

My general rule is that I never bother looking for rational explanations for irrational actions. I suggest you shrug your shoulders, and continue the campaign as best as possible. By all means feel free to invite the couple who are insisting on leaving from time to time, assuming they have not done anything to render themselves totally unwelcome. But do not let this person tell the DM how to run the game.

END COMMUNICATION

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Real life is a bi...err...big problem.

I had a game group in which, at the end:

#1) one player got a divorce and moved out of state.

#2) two players got divorced from each other (one of whom left the group),

#3) the remaining player (from #2 above) moved into a house with another player from the group...and THEY had a blowup and stopped talking to each other.

#4) One player refused to get a divorce and/or press charges after her hubby- also a player in the group- was revealed to be molesting their children. The resulting arguments caused those 2 to drop off the face of the Earth.

#5) One player simply stopped showing up, citing bogus non-reasons. (After playing in the same group on the same night for a few years, "I forgot it was game night" isn't a valid excuse.)

#6) One player moved out of state to go to grad school.

#7) That left me with only 1 player in a good mood and ready to play. Since he was better friends with some of the others than with me, he, too, stopped showing up.

He and the 2 ladies from #3 eventually wanted to game with me again, but the bizarre suicide of one of their mutual friends ended that (re)group after 1 night...actually, mid-adventure, when they got the call.

Of all of them, I've only gamed with #6 since 2005, and then only sporadically.

At some point, you'll have a group that real life pressures will cause to implode. With any luck, it will be only one group.

 

[WayneLigon]

She's mad at her friend that she's getting married before her and not being invited to the wedding.

I wasn't aware it was possible or legal to get married at ten years old. Seriously, this is a problem? The other half is... well, why isn't she invited to the wedding? Most of the weddings I've been to, they're practically taking in people off the street. Sounds like there are deeper issues there at play.

I can't say that I'm going to miss her, but her fiancé is caught between a rock and a hard place, because he doesn't seem to like confrontations and seemingly refuses to discuss the matter with her, so she pretty much rules the household.

Yeah, that's a recipe for a long and happy marriage. Don't worry, it sounds like you'll get at least one of them back at the game table within a year.

 

[Scribble]

The other half is... well, why isn't she invited to the wedding? Most of the weddings I've been to, they're practically taking in people off the street. Sounds like there are deeper issues there at play.

You've been to some fancy weddings I guess?

My wedding is coming up on Sunday. At 24 dollars a person (just for food) out of my pocket... Ain't no street people welcome!

 

[StreamOfTheSky]

I say good riddance.
Along with wimps who wont ask for the day off, Couples are a bane to a gameing group.

Was it really necessary to call the husband of the angry player a wimp? The OP didn't even say much about him, yet you already have his personality mapped out.

And I wish my fiancé would play in games with me. I guess you'd refuse to ever play with your significant other in a group, lest you be the bane of it though, right?

She's mad at her friend that she's getting married before her and not being invited to the wedding.

Being angry for getting married first is just plain stupid.

But if the DM is inviting a large number of people or anyone else from your gaming group to the wedding, that might be a legitimate gripe for being snubbed. Still not something to leave a game over... If she wasn't invited because it's a small wedding and almost no one else was, either, I see no reason to be angry.