song parodies

[Vraille Darkfang]

So far all of your stuff has been good....until now.

What is the best thing about kender?

I belive you said funny. The look on the DM's face when everyone shows up with a Kender (maybe a Tinker Gnome too) is quite humorous (unless he's got some sort of firearm nearby).

Anyway, on the flip side of the DM/Player releationship....
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(Based on Thunderstruck by AC/DC)

Consider this song a warning.

A warning to those who use loopholes and poorly written rules to make the 'Super-PC'.

No, you aren't fooling the DM. It's just that much more satisfying when we lay the Fiendish, Legendary, Vampiric, Celestial, 20th Level barbarian/Sorcerer/Cleric Great Wyrm chosne of Tiamat on your Abomination of the Rules.

Whatever you can twink. We can twink better. Remember that.

And now a Classic from 2nd Ed days.
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Dragon-Stomped by BS/BR (aka Bladesinger/Battlerager)

(Roar) (x10)
I was caught
In the middle of a desert track (Roar) [...of a breath attack]
I looked round
And I knew there was no cleric at my back (Roar)
My dice flew
And I saw no number over two (Roar)
And I knew
This was no good, a no good plan by You (Roar)

Sounds like beating drums
Bitin' into my heart
The teeth in his gums
Tore me apart
I've been - Dragon-Stomped

Hit points down in single digits
Broken in seconds, by a wyrm, a great wyrm
Went down his gullet, yeah his gullet
And You had some fun
I'd met some D20 Rules
Some rules who gave me power unfair
Abused all the rules, played You for a fool
Yeah, yeah, then drakes, drakes blew their lightnin' breath

Could I make a new PC please?
Yeah You were sooo kind
I've been - Dragon-Stomped, Dragon-Stomped
Yeah yeah yeah, Dragon-Stomped

Yeah
Oh, Dragon-Stomped, yeah

Now that I've been bitten off at the knees
Could I make a new PC please?

Dragon-Stomped, Dragon-Stomped
Yeah yeah yeah, Dragon-Stomped
Dragon-Stomped, yeah, yeah, yeah

Said yeah, I'm all gone
You're doing fine
Yeah, I'm all gone
You're doing fine
(So fine)

Dragon-Stomped, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Dragon-Stomped, Dragon-Stomped, Dragon-Stomped
Whoa whiny, whimpy, Dragon-Stomped
I've been Dragon-Stomped, Dragon-Stomped
Dragon-Stomped, Dragon-Stomped, Dragon-Stomped
I've been Dragon-Stomped

 

[Thunderfoot]

See, if you pay attention to my dragon song you won't end up like this dragon song.

I love it.

 

[Vraille Darkfang]

I'm tired.

It's Late.

So here it is:

The shortest Filk I can imagine:

(Thanks to Mason Williams for his great hit “Classical Gas”.
_____________________________________________________

Classical Geas by the Bardic All Stars

(Begin all bardic instrumentals)








(End all-bardic instrumentals).

__________________________________________________

I got a few other things brewing.

This was just a way to boost my boost count up to 2nd level. Again.

 

[Allandaros]

A few Paranoia-related songs I did over at Paranoia-Live.net. Tombking is a member there, who (for reasons too lengthy to discuss here) my parodies centered on.

Bad, Bad, Tombking-O (to the tune of Bad Bad Leroy Brown)

Oh, the north side of SWE Sector
It's the baddest part of town
And if you go down there
You better just beware
Of a clone named Tombking-O

And it’s bad, bad Tombking-O
The baddest clone in the whole damn town
Badder than old Annihilator
And meaner than a junkyard dog(bot)

Now Tombking, he's a gambler
And he likes his fancy clothes
And he likes to wave his Tella-O stuff
In front of everybody’s nose
He got a custom autocar
He got an walkerbot too
He got a laser pistol in his pocket for fun
He got a razor in his shoe

And it’s bad, bad Tombking-O
The baddest clone in the whole damn town
Badder than old Annihilator
And meaner than a junkyard dog(bot)

Well friday bout a weekcycle ago
Tombking shootin’ dice
And at the edge of the autobar
Sat a jackobot named Doris
And ooh that bot looked nice
Well he cast his eyes upon it
And the trouble soon began
And Tombking learned a lesson
’bout takin' the bot of a jealous clone

And it’s bad, bad Tombking-O
The baddest clone in the whole damned town
Badder than old king kong
And meaner than a junkyard dog(bot)

Well the two clones took to fightin’
And when they pulled them from the floor
Tombking looked like a batch of Hot Fun
With a couple of pieces gone

And it’s bad, bad Tombking-O
The baddest clone in the whole damn town
Badder than old Annihilator
And meaner than a junkyard dog(bot)

Tombking, PLC Man (to the tune of Secret Agent Man)
There's a man who leads a life of danger
To everyone he meets he stays a stranger
With every move he makes another chance he takes
Odds are he won't live to see tomorrow

Tombking PLC man, Tombking PLC man
He's given you a number and taken down your name

Beware of smiling faces that you find
A happy face can hide a traitor's mind
Ah, be careful what you say
Or you'll give yourself away
Odds are you won't live to see tomorrow

Tombking PLC man, Tombking PLC man
He's given you a number and taken down your name

Tombking PLC man, Tombking PLC man
He's given you a number and taken down your name

Swingin' at HPD&MC one day
And then layin' HEL Sector next day
Oh no, you let the wrong word slip
While taking credits slips
The odds are you won't live to see tomorrow

Tombking PLC man, Tombking PLC man
He's given you a number and taken down your name

Tombking PLC man...

Troubleshooter Call (to the tune of Hammer to Fall)

Here we stand or here we fall
IntSec won’t care at all
Make the bed light the light
Tella-O won’t be on tonight yeah

You don’t waste no time at all
Don’t hear the bell but you answer the call
It comes to you as to us all
We’re just waiting
For the Troubleshooter call

Oh ev’ry night and every day
A little piece of you is falling away
But get more cash the FE way
Rise in clearance as your body decays yeah

Toe your line and play their game yeah
Let the Wakey-wake cover it all
Till one day they call your name
You know it’s time for the Troubleshooter call

Rich or tough or famous
For your truth it’s all the same (oh no oh no)
Lock your door the Vulture's knocking
Through your window pane (oh no)
Baby now your struggle’s all in vain

For we who grew up loyal and
In the shadow of the big FC
Convinced our voices can be heard
We just wanna sing loyalty songs louder and louder

What the HEL we fighting for?
Just surrender and it won’t hurt at all
You just got time to say your prayers
While your waiting for Troubleshooter - Troubleshooter's call

They're gonna call
Troubleshooter...Troubleshooter call
Waiting for FC to call now baby
While you’re waiting for the Troubleshooter call

Give it to Tomb one more time!

_________
...and one of Tombking's responses:

Allandaros (to the tune of Goldeneye)

See the cambot moving towards your face
See the docbot that have no real ace
See his goons all around you
And you'll know you've met your match

Allandaros, with just one weakness
Allandaros, the leades of the army
Allandaros, the clone of the slugthrowers
But a flybot will bring him to his knees

You'll never know
How your second hand took control after the fight
You'll never know
How she killed commies left and right
You'll never know the plots, the tricks, the schemes
The schemes she schemed
But soon her time will come
And time, time is not on her side

See him shoot, with this great big slugthrower
He's the boss, they do what he says
See the commies fall before him
If I were him I wouldn't spare that girl

Allandaros, not bot or vendomachine
Allandaros, watch out for Tassa-DAR!
Allandaros, you're in a whole lot of trouble!
Did you really think two squads would be enough?

You'll never know
How the commies ran away from AUR
You'll never know
You were so close, and now you've been denied
If you'd set some kind of trap,
You might still be alive
Revenge, it's a flybot
Here's my little tip
Next time send warbots to blast them blind
Poor Allandaaaaaarrrrrrooooooos!

 

[sydbar]

Excellent paranoia song parodies.

 

[Vraille Darkfang]

OK.......

It seems my latest post was eaten by the Server Crash Gnomes.

This time I'll try neutering an old mouse and offering it up for sacrifice.

"Please spare my humble post from your limitless wrath."

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And now, from the Biggest Thing to hit the Sword Coast since Elminster's Booty Call List.....


Paladin Man by They are Indeed Giants

Paladin man, Paladin man
Doing the things a paladin can
What's he like? No one knows
Paladin man

Is he a prick, or is he a jerk?
When he's under threat does he get crit?
Or does his mount get crit instead?
Nobody likes Paladin man

Adventurer man, Adventurer man
Adventurer man hates Paladin man
They have a fight, Adventurer wins
Adventurer man

DM man, DM man
Creator of the entire universe man
Unusually cruel to Adventurer man
DM man

He's got encounters for his master plan,
Monster bands in evil lands
When the party all flees he's a happy man
Powerful man, DM man

Commoner man, Commoner man
Weapon Focus frying pan
Lives his life as a follower man
Commoner man

Is he worthless or is he less?
Does he feel totally helpless?
Who rolled up Commoner man?
Useless man, Commoner man

Adventurer man, Adventurer man
Adventurer man hits Commoner man
They have a fight, Adventurer wins
Adventurer man


Credit Here:

Based on “Particle Man” by They Might be Giants.......

Am I getting obscure enough now?

 

[cybertalus]

Not too obscure for me Vraille. In fact I liked it so much it inspired me to finish one I've been working on.

----

Blackguard killing in the dead of night,
Take this bastard sword and learn to fight.
All your life,
You were only waiting for this moment to arrive.

Blackguard killing in the dead of night,
Sink your sword in victim number three,
All your life,
You were only waiting for this moment to feel free.

Blackguard fight, blackguard fight
Under the light of a dark black sky.

Blackguard fight, blackguard fight,
Under the light of a dark black sky.

Blackguard killing in the dead of night,
Take this bastard sword and learn to fight.
All your life,
You were only waiting for this moment to arrive.
You were only waiting for this moment to arrive.
You were only waiting for this moment to arrive.

 

[Thunderfoot]

Neither obscure and both very good. I'm working on a rather old one myself about a Pally I have the chors done, but am suffereing through the timing on the verses.

To the tune of The Mighty Quinn by B. Dylan (as popularized by the Birds)

He doesn't drink,
That'd be a sin.
He don't do nothin',
He's a paladin.
He's good in a fight,
Against evil he wins.
He's a holy roller,
He's a paladin.

 

[cybertalus]

Ooh, I like what you've got so far Thunderfoot. That's a good song, though I've only ever heard Dylan's own version, not the Byrds' cover.

 

[Kormydigar]

Ok. I have finally completed "Inverness" the 2nd in a string of parodies paying tribute to classic adventures. Keep on the Borderlands is next up. Enjoy

INVERNESS
(To the tune of "China Grove" with apologies to the Doobie Brothers)

When the sun comes up on a haunted little keep
Down around Abbor- Alz
And the freaks are creeping down into the dark
with thier nasty pals

The creatures of the keep are strange
Trapped in time from whence they came
Well, youre talkin bout Inverness
Oh, Inverness

Well, the Duke of Urnst and the Seer
Lord, theyre a plotting
They are the talk of the town
With the Soul Gem up there lying
And they are trying
To find ways to get it down

They say Galap-Dreidel's insane
And each corner entrance a game
Were talkin bout the Inverness
Oh, Inverness

But every day theres a new group comin
The ways of a railroaded view
The wizard and his buddies
With their shields and long swords
You can't even see the tower at night

And though its a part of a time gone by
People dont seem to care
They just keep on lookin to the past
Talkin bout the Inverness
Oh, Inverness