song parodies

[Vraille Darkfang]

If you happen to meet Diaglo in person, you can try to get him to sing this.

If he refuses, just treat him to a liter of Mountain Dew or three and all the Krispy-Kreme he can eat.

If you then keep him up past his bedtime (say 8:30 or so), He'll jump up on the table and begin to shout his anthem out.

O.D.D. by Diaglo

Ernie with Bigby
Gary dropped a load in '74

O.D.D, how can I explain it
I'll take you booklet by booklet
To have y'all playin' I shall be singin' it
O is for Original, D is for Dungeon delvin' venture
The last D...well...that's not that creature
WotC's gone the way to turn a lion 'to kitten
It's seven little letters that are missin' here
You get on occasion I'm DM'in' the party
As a game 'n it seems I gotta start to explainin'

D02 Hate it!

You ever had a PC and set the stats all in a nice row?
You get a sheet and 3d6 numbers and then you feelin' real mellow
You get done in under an hour, the playin's all you need'ta know
When you roll up and there's no place there for feats or class features
It's tha GAME, G to the A to the M to the E
It's just your dwarf at a tavern house (Boy, their women IS hairy)
It's O.D.D time, other people's games don't get it
There's no rules for sissy-bits there's just rooms wit critters to hit in it
How many gamers out there know just what I'm gettin' at?
Who thinks it's wrong 'cos all I do is killin' and co-killin' em' all?
Well if you do, that's O.D.D. and you're not down with it
But if you don't, here's your ol'skool membership

You down with O.D.D. (Yeah you know me)
You down with O.D.D. (Yeah you know me)
You down with O.D.D. (Yeah you know me)
Who's down with O.D.D? (Every last homie)
You down with O.D.D. (Yeah you know me)
You down with O.D.D. (Yeah you know me)
You down with O.D.D. (Yeah you know me)
Who's down with O.D.D? (All my homies)

As for Watzee, O.D.D. means something lesser
The last two letters are the same but the first is something different
It's the useless, ugliest, mean-- I call it the meanest
It's another eight letter word rhymin' with banal and awful
I won't get into that, I'll do it...ah...sorta properly
I say the first O...hmmm...stands for property
Now Watzee here comes wit a 'game', shows da' game run to me, now tell me exactly...
Have you ever known a maker who have another like, ah game wit dice
And you just had to stop and play 'cos it look just as nice
You looked at it, the look hooked at you and you knew right away
That it had nothin' but you was gonna buy it anyway
It couldn't be as clean and honestly you didn't care
'Cos in a room behind a door no one but y'all are there
When y'all are finished, y'all can leave and y'all would know
And then y'all could throw the inferior books right in the closet do'
Now don't be shocked 'cos if you're down I want your heads up high
Say O.D.D. (O.D.D) I like to say with pride
Now when you play it, play it well and make sure all XP mounts
You're now down with playin' for stakes that counts


You down with O.D.D. (Yeah you know me)
You down with O.D.D. (Yeah you know me)
You down with O.D.D. (Yeah you know me)
Who's down with O.D.D? (Every last gamer)
You down with O.D.D. (Yeah you know me)
You down with O.D.D. (Yeah you know me)
You down with O.D.D. (Yeah you know me)
Who's down with O.D.D? (All the gamers)

This GM, ah tried to A.D.D. me
I had a GM and he knew that matter-of-fact my group and how we rolled wit it
We had a fall out, disagreement, yeah an argument
He tried to run so we did run in my basement, darn it
How he wasn't running IT must have been why we hit the ceiling
'Cos after that he kept on coming back and preachin' non-weaps.
I said, "Let's go my game is da' original so you gotta leave"
He said, "Oh no, You'll love your Class Kit" I said, "Now wannabe please"
You gots to leave, come grab your DMG, right now you gotta go
I then took you up the stairs and through the stair-window
That was a game, a stupid game, he shouldn't have even tried to start
'Cos he knew I was O.D.D, hell from the very start
Come on, come on, now let me tell you what it's all about
When you go down, you can't go underground runnin' off to the south
That's rule number one in this O.D.D. rules-set
You roll your stats 3d6 and you place them back to back
Exciting isn't it, a special kinda Role-Play to it
Many of you will play the same sorta O.D.D. I'm with
Him or her for sure is going to admit it
When O.D.D. comes, damn-- skippy I'm with it


You down with O.D.D. (Yeah you know me)
You down with O.D.D. (Yeah you know me)
You down with O.D.D. (Yeah you know me)
Who's down with O.D.D? (Our whole party)
You down with O.D.D. (Yeah you know me)
You down with O.D.D. (Yeah you know me)
You down with O.D.D. (Yeah you know me)
Who's down with O.D.D? (Our whole party)

Break it down!



You kids are all a bunch of (Deleted) (Deleted)!!! In my day we had to go HOME to use the phone, none of that (Deleted) CELL PHONE (Deleted)! We had to WALK to our conventions UPHILL, BOTH WAYS. The balor is a pathetic piece of (Deleted) that a REAL VI Demon would eat for BREAKFAST if Type VI Demons ate (Deleted) for Breakfast!

I love Showtunes!!!

I feel Pretty,
So Pretty, Witty, and Wise!

(About now is when the sugar and caffeine high wears off & the sleep deprivation kicks in. You can usually talk him down with a 'Best of Streisand CD', but keep him away from any S.C.A. weapons).


Except for the Sugar Induced rant at the end, Diaglo took all his Inspiration from his Hate of the New Millennium (almost anything past 1983 in fact), and his love of hard-core rap music.

This tune is him just representin' his peeps Naughty by Nature and their hit O.P.P.

(I think he's working on an all Gygax inspired version of 50's newest album).

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

One night of gaming, our party had the option of continuing on a particular path in the dungeon, or crossing an underground chasm. We couldn't really see what was on the other ledge- too many interposed stalagtites. "Fast Eddie" Edylrith, my CN gnome Ill/Th volunteered to be tossed across by the barbarian, with a rope attached, in order to start the process of crossing.

At the apogee of her arc across the chasm, she was snagged in mid-flight by a cave fisher, which slurped her paralyzed body up like spaghetti.

Which inspired the following brief (incomplete parody):

"It was a caaaaaaaaave fisher- one way ticket, yeah!
It took a FLUUUUNG GNOME to find out...and she found out!"

 

[Vraille Darkfang]

I could have sworn I've heard something similar to this before.

(Maybe one of those 'Bard on the Run' Articles from April Dragons, or the old FR list Serve).

If anybody knows if this has been done before, let me know (or any of the others I've posted for that matter).


Now to a tune that would probably make a better video than a song,
(To the Charlie Daniel's Band's Devil Went Down to Georgia) He got routed through Atlanta I'm guessing.


Balor Went Down to Faerun
by Volothamp Geddarm

A Balor went down to Faerun, he was looking for a soul to steal.
He was in a bind 'cos he was way behind: he was willin' to make a deal.
When he came across this old man smokin' on a pipe and castin' a lot.
And the balor landed upon a shadowtop stump and said: "Wizard let me tell you what:
"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a spellslinger too.
"And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.
"Now you cast a pretty good spell, gramp, but give a balor his due:
"I bet a pipe of gold against your soul, 'cos I think I'm better than you."
The man said: "My name's Aumar and it might be a sin,
"But I'll take your bet, your gonna regret, 'cos I'm the best that's ever been."

Aumar you guano up your fingers and bend the Weave hard.
'Cos the Abyss broke loose in Faerun and the balor deals it hard.
And if you win you get this shiny pipe made of gold.
But if you lose, the balor gets your soul.

The balor lifted up his sheath and he said: "I'll start this wimp."
And fire flew from his fingertips as he loosened up his whip.
And he pulled a sword across his thighs and it made an evil hiss.
Then a band of demons joined in and it sounded something like this.


(Sounds of Massive Explosions, Concussive Blasts, and Lightning Crackling)


When the balor finished, Aumar said: "Well you're pretty good ol' son.
"But if you'll sit down in that chair, right there, and let me show you how its done."

Fireball o'er the moun, run orcs, run.
The Cyricists' in the House of the Dark Sun.
Thayan in the grave-yard, raisin' up thralls.
"Ashemmi, does your gnoll bite?"
"No, goblin, no."


(Stock A-Bomb Blast Test Footage)


The balor bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat.
He laid that golden pipe on the ground at Aumar's feet.
Elminster said: "Balor just come on back if you ever want to try again.
"I told you once, you son of the Abyss, I'm the best that's ever been."

And he cast fireball o'er the mount, run orcs, run.
The Cyricists' in the House of the Dark Sun.
Thayan in the grave-yard, raisin' up thralls.
"Ashemmi, does your gnoll bite?"
"No, goblin, no.”

 

[baudbard]

Incomplete, but feel free to make em groan at the table with this assault on the Eurythmics

Great Cleaves are made of these
Who am I to use Expertise?
Traveled the world by level 17
Everybody's looking for something
Some of them want to confuse you
Some of them want to be confused

5 foot step up, Full Attack
5 foot step up, Full Attack.

and I have to share this crazy guy with you, he may not exactly be straight parody, but some of it is amazingly good.

 

[Vraille Darkfang]

As time passes, things change.
Those that sit at our gaming tables aren't all the same ones from the beginning.
Gamers drift, move, or just get too busy.
They just don't show up at the game anymore. Sometimes, you have warning. Sometimes you don't.
The get a new job, move, run out of free time, or any of a number of other reasons.
There is always the chance they might just walk in, take their seat, and start rolling dice.
A chance, there is always that chance, no matter how unlikely.
This is kind of a tribute to all those groups who have a chair or two set aside...
Just in case, you know; there's always a chance.

Based on Fire & Rain by James Taylor


Magi & Hin

Just yesterday evening the group let me know you were gone
Someone's plans may put an end to games with you
I walked out this morning and I wrote down this song
I just can't remember who to send it to

I've been magi and I've been hin
I've seen campaigns that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not make it in
But I always thought that I'd game with you again

Won't you look down upon me, gamers
You've got to help me make my games grand
You've just got to aid me through our next play
My mind's aching and my dice are in hand
And I won't be gaming any other way

Oh, I've been magi and I've been hin
I've seen campaigns that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not make it in
But I always thought that I'd game with you again

Been playing in my mind to easy times, my thoughts towards the fun
Who knows when combat goes down how it'll go when you're not around
Well, there's hours of time on the computer line to find friends to come
Plot schemes and adventuring leads in pieces on the ground

Oh, I've been magi and I've been hin
I've seen campaigns that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not make it in
But I always thought that I'd game with you, one last time again, now

Thought I'd see you one more time again
There's just so many things coming in our way this time around, now
Thought I'd see you, thought I'd see your magi and hin, now

 

[cybertalus]

Maybe's it all the Floyd I've been listening to since Syd Barrett died, but this one came to me pretty much all at once.

Comfortably Dumb

(with apologies to Roger Waters)

Hello
It's an enemy spellcaster
I think he wants to kill me.
Man I hate that little gnome.
Come on now,
I'd better take him down,
Scramble up his brain,
Knock him off his feet again.
Relax.
I'll just Feeblemind him first.
It's a classic spell attack,
That'll hit him where it hurts.

I have no brain, it is receding
No rational thoughts on my horizon
I am only speaking now in raves
My lips move, but you cannot figure out what I'm saying
When I was a child, I was Feebleminded
My brain felt just like a baboon's
Now I've got that feeling once again,
I can't explain, you would not understand
This is not how I am
I have become comfortably dumb.

O.K.
It's just a little spell cast
There'll be no more aaaaah
But you may feel a little thick
Can you cast spells?
I do believe it's working, good
That'll stop you casting in the fight
Oh yeah, it serves you right.

I have no brain, it is receding
No rational thoughts on my horizon
I am only speaking now in raves
My lips move, but you cannot figure out what I'm saying
When I was a child, I was Feebleminded
My brain felt just like a baboon's
Now I've got that feeling once again
I can't explain, you would not understand
This is not how I am
I have become comfortably dumb.

 

[Thunderfoot]

Good one's guys.
I think I might actually start recording soon, I'll keep y'all posted.

 

[dragonhead]

I finally got the internet hooked up in my new house, sorry i was gone, but you all know how moving is. im surprised to see my tread still going. but hey its kick a** to see some many funny song. i got to give props to level #6. that was sweet. and thunderfoot. record. im sure you can seel some copys

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I just found this old dwarven marching song... originally performed by the Bard, Fearless Sapphire-Eyes the Steady

Start spearing the gnolls
I'm leaving today
I want to be a part of it, Greyhawk, Greyhawk
These orc-ripper boots
Are longing to stray
And make a brand new start of it
Greyhawk, Greyhawk!
I want to wake up in the city where danger don't sleep
To find I'm king of the hill, top of the heap
These Hommlet blues
Are melting away
I'll make a brand new start of it
In old Greyhawk
If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you, Greyhawk, Greyhawk!

I want to wake up in the city where danger don't sleep
To find I'm king of the hill, top of the heap
These Hommlet blues
Are melting away
I'll make a brand new start of it
In old Greyhawk
If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you, Greyhawk, Greyhawk!

 

[Goldmoon]

If anyone is familiar with Showtunes, this is a parody of Master of the house from "Les Miserables"

"Master of the Harp"

Welcome, good sir
Sit yourself down
And meet the best
Minstrel in town
As for the rest,
Lying to folks
Stealing their songs
And missing their notes
Seldom do you see
True talent like me
A Bard of good intent
Who's content to be

Master of the harp
Doling out the charm
Ready with a sonnet
Or an Elvin poem
Tell a saucy tale
Make a little rhyme
My patrons all appreciate a little of my time
Glad to sing a song of love
Doesn't cost me to be nice
I’ll even play at weddings
But that will just incur a little price!

Master of the harp
Keeper of the tune
Entertaining, fascinating
All in the room
Making all the rounds
Rhyming on the fly
Making husbands jealous
When I catch their ladies eye
Everybody loves a Troubadour
Everybody's bosom friend
I do whatever pleases
But please save your applause for the end!